What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

@MedusasBadHairDay

I had one ex who thought gazing into each others eyes was really romantic, so we'd be down the pub with friends and I'd be mid conversation with someone when his face would gradually loom into view as he tried to force eye contact.

It was weird.

😂 I am wheezing at this

@CoffeeAndCarrotCake riding a horse into a body of water is one of it bucket list things to tick off! But the way you’ve described it is making me rethink

Paris- actually we still have Eurostar tickets carried over from last year to use. Last time we went DH insisted on visiting his old uni friend who wanted to spend the day showing us around...fucking Disneyland where he had a season pass. I don’t like Disney but let myself be persuaded it would be a laugh and as it was December I thought it would look all festive at least. It was hell. Pissed it down all day, we queued for 50 minutes to eat a burrito that inexplicably cost €15 and there was nowhere to sit and eat it, and the best bit of the day was when the Haunted Mansion broke down while we were on it so we got to stay in the warm for a bit.

We ditched it before the ‘magical’ fireworks and hotfooted it back it to Paris where we got incredibly drunk at a 19th century absinthe bar. I don’t know that it was romantic but it was entirely lit by candles that made everyone look lovely and no one came round trying to sell us single roses or blasting an accordion in our ears, which was nice.

Sex in the pool! Hugely over rated, mechanically hard to do and is just not the spontaneous, passionate, romantic thing I thought it would be!!!

I had a Jack Russell who’d gaze at me,, then a speculative look would come into her eyes, then she’d suddenly lunge in for a snog!

This thread is gold!

I am thankful I live with the most unromantic in a commercial way DH ever. I would cringe myself inside out if he did most of these things. The thought of him writing me poetry or singing to me is hilarious.

We did try the shagging in the shower and bathing together thing when we were young and first together. We mostly ended up laughing and getting out! I agree with a PP, beds are comfy for a reason.

Though DH is decidedly unromantic in a poetry writing way, he makes me cups of tea, he lets me have a lie in once a week (and I do the same for him, we have young children), he randomly brings me flowers home from the supermarket because he's seen a bunch that he thinks I'll like. Or better, chocolate that he thinks I might like. Best of all he makes me belly laugh, all the time.

That's romance.

Tongues in ears.
What's THAT all about?

@riceuten

I totally get Paris, but it drives me to distraction that people seem to think you will get off the Eurostar, and there will be people cycling past with Breton stripy t-shirts, berets and baguettes tucked under their arm, and cosy little bistros directly opposite the Gare du Nord, serving inexpensive haute cuisine.

Ex dh and I went to Paris years ago and were on one of those hop on hop off topless double decker buses. Part of this particular route took us past the Gard du Nord Station where directly opposite were lots of tacky looking bars with hundreds of British football fans drinking outside singing football chants! Embarrassing!

When I was about 18, a boy at a party stuck his tongue in my ear and then complained loudly that I "tasted of wax". I found it seriously embarassing at the time.

Ears should have nothing to do with sex. Nothing.

Another vote for anything vaguely food related. A friend sent us a can of squirty CHEESE from America and DP thought that would be romantic to play with. Never ever again, cream is bad enough, but squeezy cheese left such a pong behind! Vom

Bathing or showering together , yukkkkk!!

Putting chocolate / cream / other food on someone and eating it off, no thanks

Anyone else said being fed food?

I once had someone attempt to feed me strawberries in bed. He held the green stem in his teeth and lowered his face down so he could pop the strawberry in my mouth. I instantly stopped fancying him. It was such a bizarre thing, his face descending on me.

I ended up finishing with him the next day and told him that I didn't think he was over his ex (I knew she still liked him) and the end result was they are now married. When they got back together she tearfully hugged and thanked me for my selfless act of sacrifice. All I could think was that I hoped she liked strawberries.

The "I'll make love to you all night"
Except you won't will you? It's a 2 min fumble, 2 pumps and a squirt and now you're snoring. Excellent

Feathery stroking enrages me. Even seeing it done to someone else. Stop it, it's fucking annoying

Morning sex. I'm tired, grouchy, need 2 cups of tea and you have morning breath. Go away

Actual good romantic things

Being unable to wash my hair after an op, and him ringing the hairdressers, booking appointments and paying for it
Mentioning sainsburys had a patisserie Valerie counter and I wondered if the cakes were good. He remember months later and brought me a selection to try

Radio dedications . I’m sure half of them are made up on Steve Weight Sunday love songs.

I had a Jack Russell who’d gaze at me,, then a speculative look would come into her eyes, then she’d suddenly lunge in for a snog
When my Jack gets a speculative look in his eye it usually means he's about to bite me

@DanielODonkey yes, me! I hate being fed. It's all kinds of cringe. Especially if they make unwavering eye contact. It makes me feel so self conscious about how I'm chewing said offering

Sex in the sea. Sex in a hot tub.

Really uncomfortable.

@joystir59

I had a Jack Russell who’d gaze at me,, then a speculative look would come into her eyes, then she’d suddenly lunge in for a snog When my Jack gets a speculative look in his eye it usually means he's about to bite me

My jack does this.....

@Pleasedontputthatthere

Sharing a bath - fuck right off.

Aaah, DH and I shared a massive Jacuzzi bath on our wedding night with a bottle of champagne and reflected back in the day. It was incredibly romantic...

...until he decided to put some bath foam in.

Twat.

I work on a maternity unit, there was once a couple who had just had a baby boy.
The dad did everything for the mum which I guess is lovely after you've just given birth. BUT one day I went into the room and mum was sat on a chair next to the bed, dad was kneeling on the floor infront of her, "milking" her into a bottle so he could feed the baby🤢
They didn't mind me being there atall. My face must have been a picture!

Being pregnant. I didn’t particularly enjoy it and DH was hesitant to touch my bump.
Needless to say we didn’t do a maternity photo shoot.

Surprise “romantic” trips.
Dh once arranged 2 leave days off from my work so we could go away for a long weekend straight from work.
Pissed me off no end as it was so presumptuous and everyone thought I’d be so delighted for some reason.
I had stuff I needed to do at work and was saving those leave days for something I like wanted to do.
He had packed for me and I had no warm clothes, medication, contact lenses, glasses or underwear.
So it was a fucking delightful trip freezing my arse off, commando while mostly blind unless wearing my prescription sunglasses.

Sharing a bath, here also...we flooded the floor with a tidal wave...how romantic it was(not!) to use every towel we had to clean up the water and then had loads of extra laundry

I have flowers in my garden almost all year long...DH would still buy me flowers...after several fake smiles and " oh how thoughtful" I finally told him to please not bring me flowers from a shop...just go outside and pick me some....after DH did it several more times he finally confessed that HE liked them.

What's romantic to me?
Bringing me the newspaper and a cup of coffee in bed every morning
Putting toothpaste on my toothbrush every morning and night when he does his..( although this may be self serving)
Folding the loo paper in a little pointy end like they do at 5 star hotels😅
Working on a crossword puzzle together..he gives it a go first and then hands it over to me and tells me what a genius I am when I can fill in the ones he couldn't work out🥰😍💘💝💖❤

I was the ungrateful recipient of dirty talk in French.

He was not French (and it was dismal).

No conjugal without conjugation lads.

Ex dh and I went to Paris years ago and were on one of those hop on hop off topless double decker buses. Part of this particular route took us past the Gard du Nord Station where directly opposite were lots of tacky looking bars with hundreds of British football fans drinking outside singing football chants! Embarrassing!

There are actually some serviceable restaurants just a couple of minutes walk from there, that don't even break the bank. You just have to know where to look. But I wouldn't recommend that area for romantic dining, nor the rue de la Huchette, next to Notre Dame, where all the tacky tourists go and get ripped off.

The same with people wanting to say "We had a coffee on the Champs Elysees" - that can easily bust €30 for two of you, and you will be hassled by ring scamsters and rose sellers the whole time - WHY ?

I have no idea why people think Disneyland Paris will be a good idea - everyone I know who has been there has hated it, or said "Well, the kids enjoyed it..." through gritted teeth. There are numerous parts of Paris that are child friendly - again, if you know where to look.

I hate that people kick off about staff not speaking English. How many hotel staff in England speak fluent French? I've been going to France for nigh-on 40 years (and Paris nearly as long) and not a single waiter has been horrible to me in all that time, and some honestly think they're being helpful when they give you an English menu (I usually ask for the French menu, because at least then I know what I am ordering, the "English translation" is oftentimes hilariously bad).