What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

This thread has made me cry laughing (especially the comparison of being serenaded being like locking eyes with a dog doing a poo)
I too am a total cynic about romance and can’t bear grand gestures. I want the ground to open up and swallow me.

Loathe Valentine’s Day - forced romance, everything overpriced
Hot tubs - being in a grim people soup, makes my skin itch just thinking about it
Baby talk - urgh, so cringe it hurts. How can anyone do this with a straight face?
Flowers - I’m really fussy about what flowers I like and hate having to look grateful for a naff bunch of chrysanthemums or carnations (or even roses for that matter)

I think the off the cuff thoughtful stuff can be great, but it just falls flat if they’re not doing the basics of respect and support. Don’t buy me flowers and think that’s going to win you brownie points if you don’t pull your weight with the everyday domestic shit.

And whilst shower sex is great if it’s in a big walk in style shower, I’m not sure I’d class it under ‘romantic’

@BigHairyLeggedSpider

Petals in the bath. Just fuck off

Bloody hell, I misread this as "pets in the bath" and nearly hit the ceiling!

@Sparrowfeeder

Exactly this 👏👌🙌 It seriously takes away any romancing!

I had an ex that used to think talking dirty was a sure fire way to get me off! In reality it ruined everything as I died laughing! 🙃

@steppemum

most romantic thing I was in UK pregnant with dd2 (complications) with 2 pre-schoolers in tow. Dh was still overseas in place we had been living in. Bloody long difficult separation. I looked at earrings on ebay, saved a pair in my watch list. A few days later they arrived. Dh had gone on to ebay for something and seen that I had saved them and bought them. I burst into tears. The only problem was they were clip-on. I was watching them because of style and was looking for some pierced earrings that were similar! But I saved them, still have them. Proper case of the thought that counts

I love that

@Mum2b43

Oh my god I've just had a flashback to exactly the same thing! I actually wanted to vomit! Suffice to say he was swiftly moved to the ex heap!

@Mum2b43 that’s just bloody gross. Poor you.

It was really disgusting... needless to say I gave him a fake number! 😂

My husband wants me to rub his feet and wants to rub mine too. Literally fuck right off.

I like bath sharing, but to do it successfully you need a decent-sized bath, you need to both sit at the same end, the water needs to be deep enough, and it helps if you are both short. And nobody should be washing anybody else’s hair. We are usually doing the crossword together with a glass of wine, rather than anything sex-related.

Totally agree about showering. Showers should be speedy things, they aren’t sensual.

Weekend lie ins.

They're supposed to be happy, relaxed mornings of sex for hours with the sunshine streaming in through the windows, followed by orange juice and croissants.

In reality, one party is awake as normal but has to try and covertly watch YouTube without alerting the cat that somebody is awake/available to provide food whilst ignoring their bladder's insistent reminders that it's way past getting up time and a craving for coffee. Whilst the other party snores until Midday.

@ouchyouchyow

Agree with you OP. Had a similar experience and will never date a guitarist ever again

DP is a guitarist. But I'm a bassist (by choice) myself and taught fretted strings/vocals for some years on the side. ANY male who thought I'd be impressed enough by G, D and [pause to reposition] A7 would find their intended prelude to a blow job turned into;

'That's really good. Have you considered using moveable chord shapes or transposing into a key that fits your vocal range better?' Assuming I didn't stop them after the first strum to tune the bastarding thing

I was taken for the day (birthday) to a local city only to find out, on the train there, that he’d booked a hotel for the night. He then got the right hump when I got stressed because we had no overnight bags. Then he got cross because I insisted on buying what we needed for an overnight stay before checking in. We proper fell out and had a crap day (of shopping for essentials) and him sulking because he thought it was a romantic gesture.

Who does that? Fucking moron!

Based on another current thread.....moving house

Roses - that have no perfume. Complete waste

@lilstarr99 An ex of mine did something similar - took me away for the weekend for my birthday, which was lovely. But once we were there the whole time it was “So where do you want to go/what shall we do/where shall we eat?”

I don’t fucking know, this was a surprise so funnily enough I haven’t perused the local tourist board. We ended up just wandering around a lot of the time with me getting annoyed that the onus was being placed on me!

This thread is not for me, I love nearly every romantic gesture mentioned. Me and my DH are obviously made for each other, none of you would put up with him or me

Throws rose for benfold. Just sorting out your seranader.
Quite right - good we’re all different ! X

Serenader !

Thanks @HeronLanyon. This thread had made me and DH laugh, as we talked through all the romantic stuff we love. I particularly love the poems, baths, cuddling, flowers and eye gazing. Each to their own.

Christening every room in a new home... like love amongst the packing boxes is a real turn on 🤣🤣🤣

You know when you see it on tv and the man orders for the woman - fuck that!! Really???

Also hubby jizzing on your face - no just no.

No-one has mentioned the “romantic” drive. I used to get car sick 😷 when younger and would only ever get in the car to get from A to B but (now) DH thought I would like him to aimlessly drive me around the countryside as one of our first dates. I just read a magazine as he drove and was nearly sick.

You know when you see it on tv and the man orders for the woman - fuck that!! Really???
I sometimes get Dh to order for me.
However its when we are in a dimly lit restaurant and I haven't got my reading glasses. There's usually not many veggie options in the restaurant s in my town so I'll take anything!!😂😂😂

I just read a magazine as he drove and was nearly sick.

I'd think the reading caused the sickness.

@ForwardRanger

The ones about guitar strumming Romeos reminds me of a couple I used to know. He played the flute while she gave birth. Can you imagine? They broke up soon after.

I am loving this...however, I read it as playing the lute and not a flute.

I'm not sure which would have been worse or better under those circumstances.

PMSL at the mental image that it brings either way!