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Original poster

What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

880 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 29/04/2021 10:59

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

OP posts:
MiaMarshmallows · 01/05/2021 08:09

I agree Madcattery.
We do most of the things that people find cringe on here. He always buys me flowers, fall asleep in each others arms, always kissing and touching each other, always compliment each other etc. Share baths...most of the stuff on here. Some may hate it but we love it. It's how we show our love for each other and we are extremely happy.

ouchyouchyow · 01/05/2021 08:21

Agree with you OP. Had a similar experience and will never date a guitarist ever again Grin

BumCat · 01/05/2021 08:30

@Mum2b43 OH. MY. GOD.

I’m sorry you had to experience that. How harrowing. 🤢

ItsAllAboutTheParsley · 01/05/2021 08:48

@Justilou1 😊 non chiedere, non ottenere!

@madcattery I think the point of the thread is when the OH makes a gesture without finding out if the recipient would like it, or what they would want, it’s not romantic. Many of the romcom staples are just self-indulgent or stalkery in real life. Others are in reality physically uncomfortable or disappointing, as many PPs have recounted!.
It’s also clear that for most of us what is romantic is a small, thoughtful, everyday thing. It’s our OH thinking about us, knowing us, and showing love without expecting a big fuss of gratitude. If you have that with your DH, it’s really lovely.

Dontknowanymore2 · 01/05/2021 08:56

All if the above now after a long marriage i want out if. Living a single life within the marriage no choice with my husband, the thought of holding hands etc makes my skin crawl. Maybe with the right partner... But i doubt it. I was in a clothing shop other day and a woman and her husband were at the knicker section. He was practically on her shoulder it was making me cross to watch. I wanted to shove him 🤣 what a weirdo. I have a friend who cannot walk without husband holding hands, but she will be wanting that, what do these people do if they have to be alone.

Anonmummyoftwo · 01/05/2021 09:55

I had a ex who would always want to hold hands or have his arm around me in public. It drove me crazy. He was always wanting to show his friends and everyone how “in love we were” final straw was when we were out in a bar having a few drinks with his friends and he kept trying to grab my hand or kiss me and by kiss I mean full on kiss like wanting it to last 10 minutes kind of thing and when I snapped and said could you stop I don’t do pda he bloody got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I was only seeing him for about 10 weeks at this point. I walked out and changed my number the next day. This was roughly 9 years ago and from what iv heard he’s still the same. He’s been engaged 6 times after short relationships all public proposals none lasted longer that 4 months. He tried to add me on Facebook a few weeks ago I just blocked him

VickyEadieofThigh · 01/05/2021 10:38

@RampantIvy

Paris
Yep. I have NEVER got on with Paris. Even when I spoke pretty decent French (directly after doing A level), too many waiter affected not to understand me. Strange how chatting with French people elsewhere was no problem for me.
VickyEadieofThigh · 01/05/2021 10:39

@Dontknowanymore2

All if the above now after a long marriage i want out if. Living a single life within the marriage no choice with my husband, the thought of holding hands etc makes my skin crawl. Maybe with the right partner... But i doubt it. I was in a clothing shop other day and a woman and her husband were at the knicker section. He was practically on her shoulder it was making me cross to watch. I wanted to shove him 🤣 what a weirdo. I have a friend who cannot walk without husband holding hands, but she will be wanting that, what do these people do if they have to be alone.
I hate how on 'Place in the sun' the couples are constantly holding hands, etc. makes me cringe.
Darlingx · 01/05/2021 10:42

My boyfriend wanted to share a bath with rosepetals scattered in about as romantic as having a bath with lettuce leaves. I just don’t get it 😂plus who clears up all the soggy petals ? I do not want to share my bathwater its my one chill out space only if we had the imperial leather bath would I be prepared to share even then is it actually romantic ?!?

CounsellorTroi · 01/05/2021 10:57

Going back to public proposals. Saw one on my local newspaper website which was billed as “the most romantic proposal ever”. They were in a restaurant. As soon as he started proposing the people at the surrounding tables got up and started singing. Turned out they were an undercover choir. It was hideous. I’d have died if it was me.

Thelnebriati · 01/05/2021 11:12

Its a toss up as to whats worse, being surrounded by a choir or breaking a tooth on a ring hidden in food.

JonSnowIsALoser · 01/05/2021 11:39

@Romney981
". I read somewhere about a woman who had a baby and her partner booked a night in a hotel. She was thinking "oh no, that means sex and I am so tired" but when she checked in the hotel it was just for her; bubble bath, bottle of wine, magazines, chocolates. Her partner was looking after the baby at home while she could chill out and just rest. I thought that was just lovely."

This is THE BEST. Wow. Should be compulsory reading for any new dad.

JonSnowIsALoser · 01/05/2021 12:05

Among the least romantic things are those lovey padlocks couples attach to bridges. Nothing like a locked prison metaphor to start your life together...

CruCru · 01/05/2021 12:08

This thread has got me thinking. A couple of decades ago (when I was in my early twenties), I was in a tube carriage with a couple (who were strangers to me). The guy kept kissing his girlfriend and giving me evils. I think he thought he was being terribly romantic - look! See how I’m not interested in any other women! - but it came across as incredibly weird and creepy.

Nowadays I would ask him why he was giving me evils but when I was young and pretty I was much less assertive.

CruCru · 01/05/2021 12:11

Those locks on bridges cause structural damage. They weren’t built to hold the weight of the locks on top of whatever is usually there.

exexpat · 01/05/2021 12:17

I went on a romantic trip to Paris with my boyfriend in my late teens. The cleaner or someone in our crappy hotel stole half our money (hidden in the suitcase), we both got stomach upsets, and spent most of our time in a wide variety of French public loos, before having to return to the UK early as we had run out of money. I like Paris, but it is not an automatic guarantee of romance.

ginghamtablecloths · 01/05/2021 12:18

Those 'bath bombs' with lots of tiny rose petals embedded in them which come away and not only make a right mess of the bath but can give a serious case of thrush to those with sensitive skin.

Red roses, red shiny underwear, just NO.

OhWhyNot · 01/05/2021 12:25

I had an ex (he was quite a bit older, had been married with children I was still young and living a single life at first I found him endearing very soon embarrassing when he was so over enthusiastic and started to behave like a man in his 20’s and everything was so animated Confused )

Anyway he tried then arms wrapped around each other when drinking champagne I’m blushing thinking about it why would you

Sundance2741 · 01/05/2021 12:41

My DH of several decades isn't given to physical gestures, but a few weeks ago we were out for a walk. We were going up a steep hill and I was flagging. He held out his hand to help me up.

Have to say it had quite a profound effect on me (sadly, maybe?). I've felt a lot more positive towards him ever since and kind of crave a repeat performance! It wasn't so much the hand holding in itself, which is uncomfortable as his hands are big and mine are tiny, but the fact he helped me.

Actually he's been a lot more helpful generally recently after I told him I wasn't feeling good about us. It does make a huge difference.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 01/05/2021 12:50

I went out with one guy who, nearly 40, went on and on about how he surprised his girlfriend with a trip to Paris when they were about 18 because 'I'm so romantic, you know'.

Mummabear89 · 01/05/2021 13:12

Showering together.

Gladimnotcampinginthisweather · 01/05/2021 13:13

I had a boyfriend who used to sing to me and play the guitar. He also liked to read to me. He had a public school accent and the reading was never as good as when I read books myself and played the story in my head. He dumped me because he wanted to play the field.😁
Totally agree about Paris. I prefer London. And the Seine was every bit as murky as the Thames.

altlife · 01/05/2021 13:17

Sharing a bed

PussGirl · 01/05/2021 13:23

DP & I sometimes shower together but it is to get clean, save some water, and his shower is big enough.

The only romantic part is that he'll scrub my back for me with the scrunchy thing without being asked - I can't reach well enough to apply as much pressure as I'd like.

Neither of feel remotely sexy in the shower - been there, done that - agree it's always shit

PussGirl · 01/05/2021 13:24
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