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Original poster

Fil reluctant to serve niether myself nor dh nice champagne?

999 replies

KnittedJimmychoos · 24/04/2021 22:07

Fudged details in case the eye of sauron gets hold...

But Mil and fil had been entertaining their friends, say Peter and Jane... Dh and I came in after their meal... And fil opened a really nice bottle of champagne.. Dh and I sat down chatting and fil served his friend but not me?
I made eyes at dh so he got a glass and went to serve me a glass, dh was driving and also doesn't like it.. Fil suddenly looked panicked and asked who was driving, and as dh poured he tried to make sure it was a half glass even though dh said he was ie empty excuse ? Meanwhile he then took the bottle and topped up his fiend chatting happily!
Dh then took bottle to fill me up and again fil seemed panicky!!
I did say I only fancied one glass.. And he sort of sucked in his breath and looked at me like a five year old and said "this is a really good bottle".

For context there is no way on earth my df would ever serve one person like this and not another!
Maybe he got out this bottle and hadn't reckoned on us coming back but isn't this the height of rudeness?? The mother of his only grandchildren??

Pils live in house worth a few million, not London, are very well off.. Have a wine cupboard.. They also treat dh like this.. On other stuff... Ie this wasn't a treasured special bottle saved for anniversary they can't replace..
I'm not keen anyway but I felt this was so unpleasant! Your not good enough for me to give nice champagne too!
Can't say the make because its fudged details.

Or.. Is it understandable to only want to serve this to his pal who it was intended for? I often feel like we are treated like second class citizens!!

OP posts:
BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 24/04/2021 23:14

@KnittedJimmychoos

It's open area, part covered, conservatory that opens out with those awning structure, no rules broken at all.
But the minute you and your DH arrived, you exceed six people.

They had arranged it to be compliant with Covid rules, that's why he wasn't invited. But you gatecrashed so that Covid rules were broken.

Nice one OP. Christ almighty.

Amelia666 · 24/04/2021 23:15

Ooooh bad form (but I’d also have angled for it 😂) - the bad form aspect pertains to thinking they ABR for not wanting to share what was a probably carefully planned and rationed session of half a bottle each of xyz selected plonk... what if they have nothing else in? 😱😱😱😱😱

Roodicus21 · 24/04/2021 23:15

Did you bring your dc?

UhtredRagnarson · 24/04/2021 23:15

They won't turn up. Because normal people don't do that.

But they’re not normal people. FIL is ill-mannered at best.

ArnoldJudasRimmer · 24/04/2021 23:17

@Angrypregnantlady

So you weren't invited. But because your husband couldn't bear to be left out of one thing you turned up anyway. Then you served yourself their expensive drink without even asking? Yeah I think that's insanely rude. I would never just turn up at my mums knowing she had her friend over and pour myself or my husband an expensive/special drink.

You've made proper fools of yourselves and have just come across spoilt and greedy.

This sums up what I was thinking. Plus with current rules you can only have 2 households/6 people gatherings (unless it's changed again, I can't always keep up), so inviting you would have meant too many people.
Crazycrazylady · 24/04/2021 23:17

Honestly op, he was rude of course to only serve some people but you and your dh were bonkers turning up where you clearly weren't wanted.. who does that's
I wasn't invited but I'm going anyway!

Original poster
KnittedJimmychoos · 24/04/2021 23:17

Loving, re pills just turning up, yes I agree I would agree it would be ur..

I've not made op clear enough, pp have seized on the just turning up.. It wasn't quite like that.. Ish.

Fil didn't see me "making eyes" though and anyone who comes here is offered a drink... Regardless and yes.. Even if I begrudged it inside I would have offered them the special booze.. The difference being we buy as we go, pils have a drink store...

OP posts:
UhtredRagnarson · 24/04/2021 23:18

They're not vampires, Uhtred.

Oh that changes everything!! I was thinking this whole time they were! Grin

AcrobaticCardigan · 24/04/2021 23:18

They were obviously celebrating - you don’t get many glasses of champagne to the bottle so you having a couple of glasses was probably half the bottle that had been bought for / brought by the guests! Under the circumstances youve described I wouldn’t have expected to be included in the bottle of champagne as though it was a regular bottle of wine. Assuming the guests were aware of / expecting the champagne, the in-laws probably had no choice but to get it out while you were there.

KingdomScrolls · 24/04/2021 23:18

You say there is a biblical backstory. Honestly I don't really want to hear it, but there may be a very good reason your PIL don't invite you to social occasions or they may be utterly dreadful and you are very hard done by, or maybe last time they let you at the good champagne you streaked across the Polo field and tried to get off with the help. We'll never know.
However if you're not invited you don't attend, and if you gatecrash you don't expect to be treated as a welcome guest.
Also yes Covid rules were broken as soon as you arrived, as it's not meant to be more than six people or two households even if meeting outside.

Paddingtonthebear · 24/04/2021 23:19

I get where you are coming from, and you aren’t wrong - they don’t favour your DH or you. That’s not great. But you already know this. Turning up uninvited is a bit rude. This kind of feels like it was entirely predictable. Unless your DH really does wants to delve deeper in to why his parents feel this way about the two of you, you are far better off just stepping back for now so that feelings are not damaged even further.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 24/04/2021 23:19

@KnittedJimmychoos

It's open area, part covered, conservatory that opens out with those awning structure, no rules broken at all.
Mil, FIL, two friends, SIL and maybe her DH made six so within the outdoor rules. Two more plus presumably the only grandchildren made it more than six.
BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 24/04/2021 23:19

So:

The PILs were being rude by not inviting him, they were complying with Covid rules, keeping the dinner outdoors with fewer than 6 people.

The OP and DH ruined the plans to maintain COVID compliance by waltzing in uninvited.

The OP claims they weren't staying long, but the OP then 'made eyes' to her DH wanting the champagne (why, if not staying long?)

The OP doesn't appear to have any idea who supplied the champagne. It could well have been the guests, not the PILs.

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 24/04/2021 23:20

@KnittedJimmychoos

It's open area, part covered, conservatory that opens out with those awning structure, no rules broken at all.
Well, the rules were broken - because you and DH brought the numbers up to 8. Hence there only being room initially for one or other sibling and partner.

Regardless, though, you shouldn’t have decided to help yourself to a drink.

Original poster
KnittedJimmychoos · 24/04/2021 23:20

Been no, this was after the meal, sil and bil had gone by this point, there were 6.
But the wife wasn't there I think she had gone to bed. So 5 really

OP posts:
UhtredRagnarson · 24/04/2021 23:21

Also yes Covid rules were broken as soon as you arrived, as it's not meant to be more than six people or two households even if meeting outside

But there were already 3 households there before OP arrived so rules being broken does for apply here. They were already broken.

Footloosefancyfree · 24/04/2021 23:21

I'm guessing you bought your dc with you and they were wanting an adult night with friends and sil and her dh and you came along regardless and changed the dynamics. You were a massive CF.

Original poster
KnittedJimmychoos · 24/04/2021 23:21

Gc at home.

OP posts:
RogueMNerKnowsNoShame · 24/04/2021 23:22

Oh. 8 pages and only me who is amused that the OP isn't naming the brand of champagne in order not to be outing.

Like... if any of the people mentioned were on mn, they wouldn't recognise anything from this scenario unless and until op says "lansom" or "verve cliquot" at which point they shout "omg!!!!! This is - gasp - us!!!!"

JanuaryJonez · 24/04/2021 23:22

I'm really confused by this. You say your PIls had two friends over and were sharing one bottle of really good champagne. That wouldn't stretch to an extra two so you not getting any is not an issue. I would have thought it nice that they opened another (maybe less expensive) bottle for you though.

TatianaBis · 24/04/2021 23:22

I was more interested in the drinks though and whether people would have expected their fil to serve them the same level as their friends and I think it's unanimous on here that actually, I was bu.

A few posters get it. Don’t take the strange gaucheries of AIBU seriously. People here think nothing of charging for drinks at weddings and ‘calling out’ people in Asda. A surprising number self identify as introverts and socially anxious.

PIL were incredibly rude. DH ignored their rudeness to be friendly to an old friend. I feel sorry for your DH.

CounsellorTroi · 24/04/2021 23:22

@KnittedJimmychoos

Been no, this was after the meal, sil and bil had gone by this point, there were 6. But the wife wasn't there I think she had gone to bed. So 5 really
Right so SIL/BIL didn't get served the champagne either?
Footloosefancyfree · 24/04/2021 23:23

They may not like you op it was there right to socialise without you.

Branleuse · 24/04/2021 23:23

Outrageous, nipping over to your parents to see a family friend. And also drinking champagne after lunch when its not a toast Grin Grin

Didnt they teach you all this at finishing school?

TheLastLotus · 24/04/2021 23:23

Also they don’t really like you and aren’t afraid to show it. You can’t change that ...

I’d have found it v awkward if someone showed up while I was serving someone else expensive stuff but I wouldn’t serve it to all just to be polite ...