Fil reluctant to serve niether myself nor dh nice champagne?

[KnittedJimmychoos]

Fudged details in case the eye of sauron gets hold...

But Mil and fil had been entertaining their friends, say Peter and Jane... Dh and I came in after their meal... And fil opened a really nice bottle of champagne.. Dh and I sat down chatting and fil served his friend but not me?
I made eyes at dh so he got a glass and went to serve me a glass, dh was driving and also doesn't like it.. Fil suddenly looked panicked and asked who was driving, and as dh poured he tried to make sure it was a half glass even though dh said he was ie empty excuse ? Meanwhile he then took the bottle and topped up his fiend chatting happily!
Dh then took bottle to fill me up and again fil seemed panicky!!
I did say I only fancied one glass.. And he sort of sucked in his breath and looked at me like a five year old and said "this is a really good bottle".

For context there is no way on earth my df would ever serve one person like this and not another!
Maybe he got out this bottle and hadn't reckoned on us coming back but isn't this the height of rudeness?? The mother of his only grandchildren??

Pils live in house worth a few million, not London, are very well off.. Have a wine cupboard.. They also treat dh like this.. On other stuff... Ie this wasn't a treasured special bottle saved for anniversary they can't replace..
I'm not keen anyway but I felt this was so unpleasant! Your not good enough for me to give nice champagne too!
Can't say the make because its fudged details.

Or.. Is it understandable to only want to serve this to his pal who it was intended for? I often feel like we are treated like second class citizens!!

Ohhh this thread is just so cringey.

When you're in their house, you need to follow their rules. If you don't like them, don't go to their house.

Quite simple really.

@KnittedJimmychoos

Yy matters I agree, this has really highlighted it and never again am I letting fil take charge on drinks.

You can't dictate who controls drinks IN HIS OWN HOME You sound like a nutter op

You’re trying to control your FIL, it seems to me. Why are you trying to make him do what you want? You aren’t going to win.

I meant out and about re taking charge of drinks. If I go there again I'll take my own,with a bottle for them like formal friends.

To be honest, life under covid has been bliss not really seeing them, I'm in no rush to go again even with formal invite and neither is dh. It's too much hard work.

I think you are just completely unaware of your own behaviour in this instance, even with people pointing it out on this thread.

That adds up to you potentially being repeatedly unaware in the past so it’s hard to judge your other instances as genuinely what happened...

Oh for Christ's sake - he isn't trying to control you through drinks. He didn't want you there!!! It's not that complex - it really isn't.
You can't go and take your own glass ffs, if you stopped turning up uninvited it wouldn't bloody happen.
"I won't let him take charge of drinks again"
Yes sure, dictate what he can and can't do in his own home.
You sound a complete and utter sodding nightmare op and on the verge of unhinged. Seriously, have a word with yourself.

What time did you turn up? It can't have been early since one had gone to bed and SIL had left

The longer this goes on, the more it sounds like the "snapped and farted" thread.

How on earth can you deduce that I'm trying to control fil!
I simply want what I want to drink wherever that is....

@jimmyhill

PIL need to learn, and adapt, a useful Irish turn of phrase: "you'll have had your champagne"

Yes!

I still want to know where the precious dgc were.
Also if my inlaws obviously and openly looked down on me I wouldn't be facilitating any relationship with them and would have let dh go on his own to his dp's.

Please can I add to the tv casting with OP as Snooki marching in with “Party’s here!”

What time did you gatecrash their after dinner drinks?

You are clearly not regarded as the favoured few. It was an appalling thing to do to his family. I can't imagine preferring a friend to a family member, but yanbu at all.

I can easily imagine preferring a friend to a family member. MN is full of posts of abusive children/parents, family members who cause drama, family members who overstep etc. Family doesn't mean people are perfect.

So there have been other drink incidents but you decided to be all passive aggressive and make a point by turning up to an event you felt deliberately left out of and hinted for the champagne even though you don't really drink it anyway. This thread is going round in circles because you won't tell the backstory or think you've don't anything wrong. My inlaws are extremely generous and hospitable and have many many dinners in with friends (pre covid). Even if they had one of my dh brothers and wives over and not us it wouldn't matter at all to us. But obviously there is some tension between dh and sil here. Is it sibling rivalry?

Anyway I do feel you should have had the 2 fizzy waters. My fil wouldn't bat an eyelid if I asked for that. I dont drink alcohol anymore but I do usually order a pot of tea with a glass of water 😅 I too get very parched 😅

@KnittedJimmychoos

I meant out and about re taking charge of drinks. If I go there again I'll take my own,with a bottle for them like formal friends.

To be honest, life under covid has been bliss not really seeing them, I'm in no rush to go again even with formal invite and neither is dh. It's too much hard work.

Wow.... that's big of you. How about leave them alone, it's clear they are not keen, stop forcing yourself on them. Life is too short.

Do your PIL serve you penis portions for food too? I suspect they think you're greedy with the 2 drinks at the pub, 2 drinks of champagne etc

Are you going to answer why you went to their house when you weren't welcome?

• control drinks when out, not in his home.

If drinks needs are repeadlty not met by a host I wouldn't blame people for furnishing their own?

you and your dh sound difficult.

You "needed" the champagne now?

@AbsolutelyPatsy

you and your dh sound difficult.

This x100!

And for the hundredth time, you weren't being "hosted"

Well as said covid has been bliss because when they do want us somewhere it's hard to say no, covid has been perfect excuse really.
It's pretty clear the relationship isn't working for then or us.

@KnittedJimmychoos

I meant out and about re taking charge of drinks. If I go there again I'll take my own,with a bottle for them like formal friends.

To be honest, life under covid has been bliss not really seeing them, I'm in no rush to go again even with formal invite and neither is dh. It's too much hard work.

You keep saying how there's this massive back story and how they treat you and DH terribly so why would you go back? You don't need to interact socially, or is it because his DM's fanny and body did take some battering to produce him that you feel obligated to spend time with them?

What time did you turn up?