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Original poster

Awkward misunderstandings that you had as a child

184 replies

CompleteBarstool · 14/03/2021 18:33

I've just been reminded of the time where I'd overheard the word "bollocking" used and had no idea it wasn't a word a child used....until I saw the look on my Dad's face when 6/7 year old me told him that I'd had to give the cat a bollocking earlier for scratching the furniture.

Any similar stories?

OP posts:
Megan2018 · 14/03/2021 21:53

In relation to listening to the news when I was little:

Guerilla warfare- I though involved gorillas and I couldn’t make any sense of why this would be. I was baffled.

Star wars - there was endless talk on the news about it (Reagan era). I understand now what it was about but I thought it involved actual Star Wars which I thought was fictional but somehow had become real. Again, I was totally baffled but too embarrassed to ask! Grin

FlashesOfRage · 14/03/2021 22:01

Errr mine is wayyyyyy worse than these 😬😬😬

I was in infant school so 6-7ish. Before break I’d been playing in the sandpit and I had sand in my mouth. You weren’t allowed to spit so I tried to do it fast and behind me just as an Asian boy ran past... Me and him were actually good friends and played races lots.

Yeah. I just thought I was in big trouble for spitting and it going on someone. Turns out they thought I was racist and I didn’t get why I was in quite so much trouble 🥴

Feraltomcat · 14/03/2021 22:01

My aunt came to visit once, she was much older than my Dad and we didn't see her often. As we sat down for dinner I asked her if she was really a virgin. She was a vegan FFS but at 8 I guess I'd heard both words, didn't know what either meant and got VERY confused. I don't think she confirmed or denied...Blush

CorianderBee · 14/03/2021 22:13

@CompleteBarstool they wet themselves laughing after checking she had no idea what she was saying. Didn't get in trouble bc it was clear she was clueless and just told her it was a bad word. Funny though.

Serena1977 · 14/03/2021 22:14

I shouted at the cat for being a mucky sod. Didnt realise my 7 year old was in earshot.

My dh came home from work, ds said daddy the cat has been a lucky sod today. Dh's face! oops!

RosemaryShortcake · 14/03/2021 22:23

DM said oh the sweets have arrived one day when I was home from school as a lorry pulled up.

I was picturing a huge bag of sweets, no suites were a type of sofa Envy.

I asked DM how much it took to get drunk and she said about three glasses.

I asked how much a glass was and she indicated a full glass. I didn't realise she meant with mixer, and the first time I got drunk I tried to drink three glasses of neat spirits.

I was drunk for at least two days.

I tried to give up my seat to a man on the tube when I was about 6. He must have been about 30. Everyone smiled/laughed and I went bright red realising he was not that old.

WitchWife · 14/03/2021 22:43

Was told someone sent us some badges in the post. I was SURE I’d been told they’d sent us badgers, picturing baby badgers - and kept on about it for weeks. Was so sure I’d been lied to and my brothers were hogging the badgers.

jobbeedancer · 14/03/2021 22:56

Was out playing when I was 8 running around for hours came home buzzing told my mum I'd had so much fun.
"What were you playing?" She asked.
HUNT THE CUNT! ...I replied. No idea what i was saying! Grin

namechange63524 · 14/03/2021 23:01

@HarrietSchulenberg

Next door's cat used to love Dairylee cheese so it became known as pussy cheese in our house. School dinner hall fell silent as I told my friends what I had on my sandwiches for lunch. I was 13 and it took years to live it down.
Grin
PivotPivotPivottt · 14/03/2021 23:08

When I was about 7 I lost my skirt at school and got really upset. It was a gym day so I had my gym shorts on underneath and when I used the toilet I somehow manged go tuck my skirt into my shorts. On the way back to class I noticed it was missing and told the teacher I've lost my skirt. She sent me back to the toilets to look and I remember crying and asking a girl if she had seen it then I looked down and realised it was tucked into my waist band Blush. I was so upset and embarrassed my parents found it hilarious when I told them after school and I've still never lived it down Grin

orpah · 14/03/2021 23:12

Just place marking because these are great!

SenecaTrewe · 14/03/2021 23:13

@drayday

I thought the word 'loathed meant something similar to 'loved' and had to write a letter of thanks to my auntie and wrote ' i loathe you and I loathe the gift you sent me'

🤣🤣🤣

digthroughtheditches · 14/03/2021 23:19

I got ming and minge mixed up. I always used to say mingeing and thought I must be very funny due to the reactions.

AlanThePig · 14/03/2021 23:24

Went through a phase of naming everything Albert, including an old sheepskin rug I had. Neighbour shouted over the fence to speak to mum, told her sorry she was in the bath with Albert (giving it a wash).

I played holy hell with a workman who threw his tool bag up the corner of the lounge. I was hysterical because he'd thrown it at Pengus. Poor bloke thought he'd killed a pet cat until mum carefully explained that Pengus was my imaginary penguin.

I was an odd child it's safe to say.

VenusClapTrap · 14/03/2021 23:29

mum carefully explained that Pengus was my imaginary penguin

That reminds me of Pengy. He was a large plastic penguin that I had when I was very little. I loved him dearly. Somebody explained to me that penguins were from very cold places, so I felt sorry for him and stood him in front of the fire before going off to play.

Pengy melted all over the carpet, and I was inconsolable.

AlanThePig · 14/03/2021 23:34

@VenusClapTrap

mum carefully explained that Pengus was my imaginary penguin

That reminds me of Pengy. He was a large plastic penguin that I had when I was very little. I loved him dearly. Somebody explained to me that penguins were from very cold places, so I felt sorry for him and stood him in front of the fire before going off to play.

Pengy melted all over the carpet, and I was inconsolable.

Oh no! Poor Pengy! I melted the nose of my push along dog in front of our coal fire. I still have him actually, one eye and half his nose are a bit warped. 😳 Pengus did return to Greenland and apparently I used to sit on the phone and chat to him. Thankfully I didn't actually dial out and was happy talking to a dial tone. As I say. Weird kid.
FromDespairToHere · 14/03/2021 23:35

When I was about 4 I used to like to "help" my neighbour's son, who would have been about 21, when he tinkered with his motorbike. I was assisting him one day when it started to rain, and I told him that it was pissing down. I had teenage siblings at the time and can only imagine I'd heard one of them say it. My mum was mortified when he told her what I'd said.

GoLightlyontheEarth · 14/03/2021 23:35

My mother told me babies came out of a gateway in your leg. I spent years searching in puzzlement for this gateway. When I asked her to show me the gateway, she became vague.

Joeblack066 · 14/03/2021 23:41

@MrsTophamHat

I used to think "twat" was just a variation of "twit". So i told my mum that my little sister was messing with my Barbies and being a silly twat.
I did exactly the same! 🤣🤣🤣
frostymornings · 14/03/2021 23:48

I remember being taken on a day trip by family friends and stopping off at a relatives house to 'spend a penny'. I honestly thought we were going to be given some coins and have a go on some slot machines in the relatives houseGrin Imagine my disappointment when I was shown to the bathroomConfusedGrin

thisismadness77 · 14/03/2021 23:57

I went on holiday to a caravan site with a friend and her family when I was about 9 or 10. On the last morning I visited the shop and bought a present for my sister. It was a huge candy lolly that said I 💖 pussy on it. I remember her parents laughing and insisting I should go and choose something else but I really couldn’t understand why. We had a much loved cat at home. 😂

areyoumeop · 15/03/2021 00:00

we used to take a short cut to nursery with DD, she repeated it as short CuNt , and when picking her up , she asked if we were taking the short cunt home- baby DS was in the pram at the time.

orpah · 15/03/2021 00:11

@areyoumeop

we used to take a short cut to nursery with DD, she repeated it as short CuNt , and when picking her up , she asked if we were taking the short cunt home- baby DS was in the pram at the time.
hahahahahahaha
acrossthemultiverse · 15/03/2021 01:07

Aged about 8, I called my uncle a poof. Had never heard the word before in my life. I thought I'd made it up and it sounded like something funny to call him as a jokey insult.

I remember the whole room gasping and the "oh fuck" feeling I felt. I begged to know what it meant until I was firmly told to stop asking.

Barkleyspaubles · 15/03/2021 01:12

@VenusClapTrap I too had a Pengy!!! Two actually. Mine were soft toys though. One of them is still going strong. I had a Fish called...Fishy too. Imaginative child....!