Things I've done wrong according to teen DD

[GreenHairThingy]

Have enjoyed the various "toddler meltdown" threads over the years - you know the ones where the sandwich was cut the wrong way or the sky was the wrong shade of blue

Well this morning my only interaction with my 17 year old DD had her complaining that:

(super whingey tone) "this isn't fair! My arms just aren't strong enough for this!!! You know I've no upper arm strength" as i callously showed her how to empty and clean the tumble dryer filter so she could dry HER clothes. Take away is: I'm to blame for her lack of upper arm strength: Noted.

5 minutes later she is making herself a sandwich. I've bought a Warburtons loaf this morning.

(totally exasperated tone) "Mum, can you PLEASE stop buying bread that's about to go out of date!"

Confused, I check the date of the bread. It says the 15th March. She continues "exactly! The last loaf ran out on the 13th!!" (the loaf we finished yesterday, on the 11th)

When I politely and calmly suggested she call the team at Warburtons to complain, as i can only purchase the bread that is available with the dates that are offered, she rolled her eyes and said" it's really not ok"

I long for toddler tantrums. They were so much more reasonable.

Surprised she had the strength, dexterity and fine motor skills to make the sandwich ? Well done for not mentioning that !

Perhaps she could build up her upper arm strength pushing the trolley as she does the shopping?

My daughter has never tantrumed but she makes up for that in sheer stubbornness and the incredible ability to make any simple task a when week event. She can stretch out the most mundane and easy task into a days even weeks long thing.

Not even having the upper arm strength to deal with fluff must be pretty hard to live with, to be fair...

I didn't enthuse over her new swimming costume. The one she hasn't yet ordered, as it's only available from Denmark .

This post made me laugh. I had one like this once. They grow out of it, mostly. I couldn't dry the cutlery properly before it went in the drawer. Lol. Among many other things The answer to her woes is, Breadmaker, make it yourself lovey, fresh every morning. Could be birthday present. Also, mine said couldn't work washing machine, so I pretended my back hurt badly, so I couldn't bend to machine. She soon started washing her own clothes. If we do it all for them, how will they cope at uni etc. Lol be brave...

Goodness OP, how can you have utterly failed to notice her skinny and withered arms?

Oh yes the moaning is in response to me giving myself a shake and stopping doing everything.

I fell into a habit of it being easier for me to do stuff as couldn't cope with the moaning - now she has no upper arm strength and I've only myself to blame!

So she hasn't done her laundry for over a week. I've gently reminded her a few times but not lots. This morning she realised she had no clothes to go out in to meet her friend for a walk.

I love the idea of the breadmaker. I shall suggest it.

Also, the trolley pushing to build strength - top of my list.

Glad to hear they grow out of it, I'm sure I was a delight at 17...! Dare I ask my mum?

Teen ds “what’s for dinner?” When I tell him he does an enormous sigh and his face drops down to the floor (doesn’t matter whatever meal I propose, reaction is the
same.) “Oh noooo!! I hate that why do you keep making it! I suppose I’m going to have to eat it or I will starve, not that you would care!”

Ds then scoffs down enormous plateful of said awful dinner in about 1 minute flat and asks for seconds!!

@TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet

Goodness OP, how can you have utterly failed to notice her skinny and withered arms?

I'm just a terrible mother.

@MissyB1

Teen ds “what’s for dinner?” When I tell him he does an enormous sigh and his face drops down to the floor (doesn’t matter whatever meal I propose, reaction is the same.) “Oh noooo!! I hate that why do you keep making it! I suppose I’m going to have to eat it or I will starve, not that you would care!”

Ds then scoffs down enormous plateful of said awful dinner in about 1 minute flat and asks for seconds!!

Oh my gosh! YES! I called her bluff a while ago after she moaned and only played up mine and DS's meal (id made enough for her but it was left in the oven out of sight)

Her "Where's mine?"
Me "you said you're sick of pasta and you hate it, so I didn't make you any"
Her "For gods sake!! I didn't say I wouldn't eat it!"

Only plated up not played!

@WelcomeMarch

I didn't enthuse over her new swimming costume. The one she hasn't yet ordered, as it's only available from Denmark .

You must do better!

In our house the tumble dryer filter is a bit of plastic and netting that weighs considerably less than the phone that is never out of your DDs hand. What do you have in yours, a brick?

Send her to the shop for longer date bread. At least she'll be out of your hair for as long as it takes her to realise she wants something that doesn't exist.

Mine went to uni.... then came back, he is lovely to be fair BUT knows. Every. Fucking. Thing 🤨 and does enjoy sharing this wisdom, he is also a spoony fucker grrr

DS complained this morning that I'd failed to get his uniform out for him. Blazer, undershirt and jumper were in a crumpled heap in his room, where he'd left them, so he only needed socks, trouser and shirt, which are stored next to each other in the wardrobe. I'd already made him breakfast, and a hot lunch in a flask and put his light on when he'd failed to rouse himself 40 minutes after his alarm went off. Git of a mother me.

He's 11 so good to know I have a few more entertaining years yet. His DSis is 2 so I've timed this spectacularly well to get both ends of the spectrum on this.

Oh the 'know it all' years combined with the attitude accompanying are soo challenging.

You sometimes have to wonder how you got on with your life and family without the advice and judgment of a teenager 😂.

Mine are mid-twenties now and have turned into normal human beings.

Buy your dd hand weights and tell her you are trying to make up for your slack upbringing and her just as slack arm muscles.

@BarbaraofSeville

In our house the tumble dryer filter is a bit of plastic and netting that weighs considerably less than the phone that is never out of your DDs hand. What do you have in yours, a brick?

Send her to the shop for longer date bread. At least she'll be out of your hair for as long as it takes her to realise she wants something that doesn't exist.

So we have 2 filters. The one you describe and then another that is bigger and needs rinsing through to get the fluff out. It's genuinely not heavy though.

She does know how dates work right?

She doesn’t think you can only eat the bread in that particular date?

@mbosnz

Perhaps she could build up her upper arm strength pushing the trolley as she does the shopping?

That’s a most excellent suggestion!

I can’t remember exactly what it was about, but I caught myself moaning to my mum about how one of the kids was going and realised I was literally describing myself at that age . Karma. Mum laughed.

I’ve made so many mistakes in my life dd hardly knows where to start
She’s spoilt for choice. I get a lot of advice on how to parent her younger brothers.

my 13 yo dd eventually agreed to come on the family bike ride last weekend... only went slower than walking. the. whole. way.

holding everyone up. amazing.

So funny - can't help thinking of the OPs daughter's poor puny little arms.

It's all your fault OP as you haven't noticed and nurtured her properly. If you had she would have tanned toned and trim upper arms.

• nourished