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Original poster

Things I've done wrong according to teen DD

575 replies

GreenHairThingy · 12/03/2021 14:10

Have enjoyed the various "toddler meltdown" threads over the years - you know the ones where the sandwich was cut the wrong way or the sky was the wrong shade of blue Grin

Well this morning my only interaction with my 17 year old DD had her complaining that:

(super whingey tone) "this isn't fair! My arms just aren't strong enough for this!!! You know I've no upper arm strength" as i callously showed her how to empty and clean the tumble dryer filter so she could dry HER clothes. Take away is: I'm to blame for her lack of upper arm strength: Noted.

5 minutes later she is making herself a sandwich. I've bought a Warburtons loaf this morning.

(totally exasperated tone) "Mum, can you PLEASE stop buying bread that's about to go out of date!"

Confused, I check the date of the bread. It says the 15th March. She continues "exactly! The last loaf ran out on the 13th!!" (the loaf we finished yesterday, on the 11th) Confused

When I politely and calmly suggested she call the team at Warburtons to complain, as i can only purchase the bread that is available with the dates that are offered, she rolled her eyes and said" it's really not ok"

I long for toddler tantrums. They were so much more reasonable.

OP posts:
Sweetpea1532 · 25/03/2021 03:29

@MrsMackesy
Yeah, TheLook doesn't work with my DC anymore either...They just laugh when I throw it their way now.Hmm

MrsMackesy · 25/03/2021 07:51

I'm given The Look now, though it's a Teenager Look and makes me want to laugh. I try not to because laughing at a Kevin is like laughing at a cat - they really get affronted.

JustNotFunAnymore · 25/03/2021 08:12

How do you all keep your humour in all this?
Dd is 14 and it feels like I'm a target for her at the moment. She picks and picks and picks away until I get cross and then turns into a victim who is soooo fed up of all the arguments. Yesterday she blew up at me for a passing comment and declared I'd been horrible to her all day. She'd been at school all day, we'd had a cuddle on the couch when she got in as she was a bit wobbly.
Then last night I gave Dh 'a look' for dragging his nail on a bit of fabric on the cushion. She obviously spotted it and spent a full minute pulling her nail along the sofa arm whilst looking sideways at me. I just ignored her but dh doesn't see it. He thinks I'm paranoid and I know I sound it but it's there.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 25/03/2021 08:41

Ahhh, "the Look".

That used to work brilliantly on DS1. Not so much on DS2. DS1 has now perfected his own version of it, which gets turned on me sometimes. It's not as good as mine, but it's still a bit of a Paddington Hard Stare and can be a bit uncomfortable!

Luckily he still mostly has a sense of humour - if that goes, things could get very sticky :(

Soubriquet · 25/03/2021 08:44

My almost 8 year old dd (she’s 8 tomorrow) already has the “look” Sad

She’s gonna be a terrible teenager

I mean I was teasing her about tomorrow and saying “oooo how old are you going to be? 2?”

“Do I look like I’m 2!” She exclaims with her arms spread and the “for gods sake mum” look on her face. Sad

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 25/03/2021 08:46

Justnotfunanymore.

My dd winds me up more than her dad. But he sees it. He agreed she’s horrible to me sometimes. But he says she’s pushing her boundaries because she feels safe.

I try to hold onto this during WW3

JustNotFunAnymore · 25/03/2021 09:15

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Justnotfunanymore.

My dd winds me up more than her dad. But he sees it. He agreed she’s horrible to me sometimes. But he says she’s pushing her boundaries because she feels safe.

I try to hold onto this during WW3

I find it really hard because I don't really have the tools to know how to deal with it. I've had a tonne of counselling so I know why I get (internally) angry and I am trying so hard to just ignore some of it but then I worry that I don't really know what I'm doing and should I be pulling her on it. She's nowhere near as bad with her dad. It's like I'm the enemy. Sad
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 25/03/2021 09:27

Yeah me too. And when she’s in a good mood she admits it!!!

I just tell her not to be rude to me if she starts, but mostly l
Just ignore it. Because she wants a response..

Nightmare though, but l used to give my mum a hard time too!

JustNotFunAnymore · 25/03/2021 10:10

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Yeah me too. And when she’s in a good mood she admits it!!!

I just tell her not to be rude to me if she starts, but mostly l
Just ignore it. Because she wants a response..

Nightmare though, but l used to give my mum a hard time too!

I wouldn't have dared. I'm trying to bring them up as far from my own upbringing as possible but it does make it difficult to trust my instincts and my reactions. Thanks for that though. Back to the daft stuff teenagers say. Xx
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 25/03/2021 11:24

Justnotfunanymore, l think girls do fight with their mothers, or take it out on them. I don’t know why.

I was accused of being evil and she hated me because I’d moved her art sketchbook. Full on crying. It was at school..,

JustNotFunAnymore · 25/03/2021 14:35

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Justnotfunanymore, l think girls do fight with their mothers, or take it out on them. I don’t know why.

I was accused of being evil and she hated me because I’d moved her art sketchbook. Full on crying. It was at school..,

Ah the drama. It's exhausting.
MrsMackesy · 25/03/2021 15:03

I can report that it happens with mothers and sons too, unfortunately. I read that this can be the worst dynamic during teenageritis, especially when very close previously.

JustNotFunAnymore · 25/03/2021 18:46

@MrsMackesy

I can report that it happens with mothers and sons too, unfortunately. I read that this can be the worst dynamic during teenageritis, especially when very close previously.
I've got it twice more to come then 🙈
MrsMackesy · 26/03/2021 04:10

That's SO unfair, @JustNotFunAnymore

MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 26/03/2021 09:07

Morning, everyone. We've had several nominations for this thread to go into Classics so we're going to move it there now.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/03/2021 09:59

Mine gave me a hug this morning😵😵😵

Random and for no reason! I feel all smiley now!😁

Original poster
GreenHairThingy · 26/03/2021 11:30

The humour doesn't come often, all the examples on this thread are from many different people and only 1 or 2 examples from each - considering how much time we all spend with our DC proves the stuff we can laugh at is few and far between. But all the sweeter when it comes Grin

So you're not on your own @JustNotFunAnymore and it is SO hard when you know you need to ignore but really you just want to scream a shit storm at them. I mean I've done the latter on occasion when I've just found I couldn't take anymore.... and that doesn't work either.

DD and I have a back and forth that includes her threatening to call Child Line on me, I quickfire return with "GOOD, THEY CAN BLOODY DEAL WITH YOU THEN!". It's become a bit of a running joke, especially now she's 17, but when she first started using it she was 15 and meant it - and so did I!

OP posts:
Original poster
GreenHairThingy · 26/03/2021 11:33

Oooo, Classics!

Well done everyone, hopefully the thread can stand for many years and show other parents at the end of their tether that:

  1. they may grow out of it. Or not.
  2. sending them to Uni just means they come back as known it alls
  3. the only true comeuppance is when they gave their own DC and we can to sit and laugh that they're now the ones being put through the mill!

(DDs arms are doing well, for all who may be concerned)

🙏❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
GreenHairThingy · 26/03/2021 11:34

... When they have their own DC and we get to sit and laugh

(got excited at getting into Classics and lost the ability to type legibly!)

OP posts:
Sidge · 26/03/2021 13:29

Ahhh, loving this thread. I have 3 girls, youngest is 14.5.

The other day we were talking about things we're looking forwards to after lockdown. She said she was looking forwards to having her friends round.

"Or maybe not", she says, "As you're so embarrassing when my friends are here".

"What?" I say. "What do I do that's so embarrassing?!"

"Well you like SPEAK to them and stuff. It's MORTIFYING".

JustNotFunAnymore · 26/03/2021 15:42

Today's gem. She was complaining about an old school friend whose posts on SM are bugging her. I suggested she unfollow said person. Apparently I just don't get it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Howmanysleepsnow · 26/03/2021 18:18

Inspired by this I have just messaged my mum to check me and DSis were, as I suspect (!?!), no trouble as teenagers. I am fully prepared to have my bubble burst...

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/03/2021 18:36

Justnotfunanymore, I’ve given up suggesting anything.

Every suggestion is always wrong...

Sweetpea1532 · 26/03/2021 19:38

@Howmanysleepsnow
Are you my sister??

My mum says I was a perfect baby, toddler, child, teen, and I'm STILL perfect.
Ok, mum...how do you explain my biting the church nursery lady when I was 18 months old???
" Well Sweet, that lady should have known better than to get between 2 sisters who were in a battle to death over a hairbrush!"
Okay, mum!Confused

I guess as I got older I got better at hiding my cheekiness...but if I were so perfect as she claims, why was she constantly conking me over the head with a hairbrush when I was mouthing off to her as she was brushing my hair?!
I just had to get the last word in as a teen because I knew everything, of course. I rightly deserved every crack she gave me...and even moreGrin
Now THAT'S a selective memory, Mum.... She's a 90 year old saint, God Bless her!

JustNotFunAnymore · 26/03/2021 19:52

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Justnotfunanymore, I’ve given up suggesting anything.

Every suggestion is always wrong...

Ah that's where I've been going wrong! Silly me. 😂