Things I've done wrong according to teen DD

[GreenHairThingy]

Have enjoyed the various "toddler meltdown" threads over the years - you know the ones where the sandwich was cut the wrong way or the sky was the wrong shade of blue

Well this morning my only interaction with my 17 year old DD had her complaining that:

(super whingey tone) "this isn't fair! My arms just aren't strong enough for this!!! You know I've no upper arm strength" as i callously showed her how to empty and clean the tumble dryer filter so she could dry HER clothes. Take away is: I'm to blame for her lack of upper arm strength: Noted.

5 minutes later she is making herself a sandwich. I've bought a Warburtons loaf this morning.

(totally exasperated tone) "Mum, can you PLEASE stop buying bread that's about to go out of date!"

Confused, I check the date of the bread. It says the 15th March. She continues "exactly! The last loaf ran out on the 13th!!" (the loaf we finished yesterday, on the 11th)

When I politely and calmly suggested she call the team at Warburtons to complain, as i can only purchase the bread that is available with the dates that are offered, she rolled her eyes and said" it's really not ok"

I long for toddler tantrums. They were so much more reasonable.

Two of my teens told me today that there's no food in the house. There is bread, bagels, ham, several types of cheese, eggs, yogurt, fruit, leftover curry, loads of tins and a fairly full chest freezer. Plus the normal staples like rice, couscous, pasta. No food though.

@WelcomeMarch

I didn't enthuse over her new swimming costume. The one she hasn't yet ordered, as it's only available from Denmark .

does she by any chance want you to enthuse with your credit card?

@StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes

Mine went to uni.... then came back, he is lovely to be fair BUT knows. Every. Fucking. Thing 🤨 and does enjoy sharing this wisdom, he is also a spoony fucker grrr

Don't worry when I was at uni I was telling my parents about how there are hundreds of genders. He'll get over it

I'm a scout leader- have been since I was 18.
Back when scouts used to be 10 to 15.5 years you could see the kids changing and just when they started to get it and be semi decent they'd reach 15.5 and disappear to Ventures.
By get it I mean reaching the realisation that If they did what they were asked to do straight away then they weren't nagged at and if they did it quick they had more free time.
I now run explorers which is 15-18 and only see this shift at 17 ish for some of the kids. It's very depressing
I have teen girls of my own now and My Dh and I feel like we are waiting for it all to kick off. They are okay at the moment but the ground isn't stable IYKWIM.

My favourite sayings
I can be meaner- for when they call me mean.
Life isn't fair.

Dd13 got stroppy because despite me dropping her at school it wasn't close enough and she had to waste precious time with her mates walking the extra 100 yards.

I want a schrodingers mum T-shirt

I once complimented one of mine on a new hat she was wearing, she looked at me in horror, took it off and I never saw her wear it again.

Obviously I should have said 'that hat is hideous'

Its been about 25 years since I was a teenager.
But my poor DMum is still recovering from the trauma.

2 highlights:
I come home from college.
DM: hi sweetie how was your day?
Me: OMG, leave me alone. You are always questioning me. Its like the bloody Spanish Inquisition in this house. Stay out of my life.
Next day
DM: says nothing
Me: you don't care about me. You never ask me how I am. Its like I'm not part of this family.

The other highlight:
Everyday for years i complained about my DM cooking. I didn't like anything she made and I made sure everyone knew.
I went off the Uni and the first holiday home, I burst through the door asking for my favourite dinner.
My DM went into a blind panic. For 5 years I complained about every meal, so she didn't gave a fucking clue what my favourite meal was

(Nb. It all turns out ok in the end )

My dd13 feels my parenting of ds10 is lacking and regularly tells me how to do better.

She also regularly accuses me of shrinking her clothes, she is in fact growing.

I so fucked up my reproductive timing that I ended up with a 16, 14, 4, and 2 year old, and a new born...
Traumatic doesn't begin to cover it then one went vegan, and one went veggie...
I still have a 16 and 14 year old at home, but they only bicker when they're in the same room...
Memorable moments include "do not wear the 'drink beer, smoke crack, worship Satan" t shirt for PE . And "do not throw turkey dinosaurs at the vegan" and "and this affects me how exactly?"
And "The Day The Poo Went Down The Leg Of His Pyjamas And Got Squashed Under The Door"
But also included "yes, she can live here until that man leaves their house" (17 old gf of my pfb, later my DiL when her mother's bf "did something" )
And giving seven teenagers free range of my wardrobe for Halloween
And the one and only time I bought the right t shirt I was a Parenting Goddess that day! A Goddess I tell you!
So, all in all, swings and very stressful roundabouts, and so far, the three that have reached 30, 25 and 18 have turned out rather nice, so it does pass (eventually)

As soon as one my teens start a conversation with 'mother's I know I'm in for a telling off!

@XingMing mine has worked and lived independently, it did help a LOT but there's still a few corners need rubbing off yet

There would be no AIBU on Teensnet, it would be TASU (They Are So Unreasonable) as it's obviously everyone else's fault.



@theMoJareajoke I too was a guiding and scouting leader for many years also from 18, I was very effective at getting those kids to do as I told them - this had absolutely NO BEARING on my ability to get dd to behave because she knew exactly what buttons to press and how hard to press them!

I want a schrodingers mum T-shirt

Ooh me too me too!

@minou123 my mum hasn't had a chance to recover yet, mainly as my sister apparently still thinks she IS a teenager despite having teens of her own now! They don't live together but sister is literally next street along and basically only sleeps at her place. So mum still gets "ugh is that what's for dinner?" "Spanish inquisition" in response to an innocent query etc - from a woman in her 40's!

(More apologies to those of you hoping it stopped at 18, to learn it can continue into 40's must be a shock)

By the time she's 23-25, she'll be delightful again. And you (and she) will be amazed at how much smarter you've gotten in the last few years.

I stopped caring.
It's wonderful.
Mum where is X. Me. I don't know that's not my job.
When DD wanted me to go upstairs to collect her charger, because she was cooking pasta. If you don't get my charger you can't have any pasta. Me. Did I ask for pasta?
Can you drive me 1/2 mile to the shops. Me . No, it's after 7 I've had a drink. I showed my glass some gin. But it's brilliant for my will power, as she knows no way in hell will I drive, if I have even had one sip.

I used all the cheese on her dinner.
This was awful as there was then no cheese left.
I gave her money to go to the shop for more cheese, she came back with a bar of chocolate and continued to moan about the lack of cheese

This is probably an unpopular opinion but I’d take that (relatively politely) from my 14/15 year old. But 17?! Fuck that!

And I have 4 kids 17-24. At some point, they have to learn they can’t be a dick to their Mum and we don’t have to take it.

Have any of you seen this thread in classics

What teenagers would say if they were on AIBU

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3054432-If-teenagers-were-on-AIBU?msgid=72477025#72477025

@TyneTeas

I was told in no uncertain terms by mine that I wasn't standing at a bus stop the right way recently!

Ah yes, I queued outside Specsavers incorrectly recently. Apparently, everyone would think I was trying to 'push in' because I stood to the side under the cover out of the rain and not in the rain.

I tried to explain that the only other person in the queue would understand that they were in front of me and I was just sheltering from the rain.

Apparently, they wouldn't because, as another adult, they were just as incompetent as me and would think me terribly rude. Of course, they would have no such thoughts of her attempts to maintain civic order through loud, performative criticisms of her mother - just so.everyone knew the social transgression was nothing to do with her.

Man in the queue just smiled at me.

@LionLily

I said "it's one thing being open minded, it's another being so open minded that your brain falls out your head" I paraphrased something I read on FB. OK, I might have asked for the door slamming.

Yes, I've told my eldest the same thing.

Going to university at 19 was actually the worst thing for him. He was a reasonable, intelligent person before that...

He's 22 now and in his final year and I'm really worried actually that this is just him now. He's become really unpleasant - anyone who doesn't hold the same very narrow, contradictory views as he does is denounced. He has lost the capacity for open mindedness, reasoned debate and sharing of ideas. At university.

I need to apologise to my mum. This thread has reminded me of the day she put spinach in the lasagna. I haven’t cried at funerals as hard I cried over that travesty.

17 year old son decided to educate me on the activities of an NHS maternity ward, I mean, I know he was born in one (because that’s where I had him) but I doubt he took that much in between birth and day 2! Bloody upstart!

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying

I've only little kids yet but when mine are teenagers I won't be letting them speak to me like that.

Oh bless your pretty little naive head.

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying

That was a joke by the way.

You got us going there!

I should be schrodinger's mother- simultaneously responsible for everything he needs/wants and also not involved at all.

Genius. T-shirt, definitely!

OH I love this - just read this out to DSs (13 and 8) and they both laughed. I'll remind them when they turn out like this (I expect they will!)

Mother

I have also been called by my first name and in a disparaging tone.

My delightful 13 yo blamed me for a powercut. It was all my fault as I don't work for the power company!