Things I've done wrong according to teen DD

[GreenHairThingy]

Have enjoyed the various "toddler meltdown" threads over the years - you know the ones where the sandwich was cut the wrong way or the sky was the wrong shade of blue

Well this morning my only interaction with my 17 year old DD had her complaining that:

(super whingey tone) "this isn't fair! My arms just aren't strong enough for this!!! You know I've no upper arm strength" as i callously showed her how to empty and clean the tumble dryer filter so she could dry HER clothes. Take away is: I'm to blame for her lack of upper arm strength: Noted.

5 minutes later she is making herself a sandwich. I've bought a Warburtons loaf this morning.

(totally exasperated tone) "Mum, can you PLEASE stop buying bread that's about to go out of date!"

Confused, I check the date of the bread. It says the 15th March. She continues "exactly! The last loaf ran out on the 13th!!" (the loaf we finished yesterday, on the 11th)

When I politely and calmly suggested she call the team at Warburtons to complain, as i can only purchase the bread that is available with the dates that are offered, she rolled her eyes and said" it's really not ok"

I long for toddler tantrums. They were so much more reasonable.

My failure to use fabric conditioner, resulting in insufficiently soft socks, is a major failing. I’m not budging on that one, I hate the stuff, but we do have a bottle in the house so she’s free to run a load full of the ghastly smelly slimy stuff for herself. Strangely she chooses not to.

Yes to the food! Always complains but eats the bloody lot. If it were up to dd she would live off Greggs and pizza 🙄.

I get told I'm 'mean' and always 'yelling', took her over an hour and a half to brush her teeth and get dressed. Almost made her late for the dentist, too right I yelled!

I caught 13 year old DD attempting to leave her dirty crockery in the kitchen and asked her to remove the few remaining cheerios in her cereal bowl for the food waste and pour the remaining milk down the sink. Rather than just leaving the whole thing on the work surface for me to deal with. Repeatedly.

She looked at the food waste bin with disdain, at me with, also with disdain and asked 'how on earth am I supposed to do THAT?'

'Same way as I have to', I said, 'fish them out with a spoon'

She groaned with the unfairness of it all and stomped back upstairs with the cereal bowl in her hand, her parting words trailing down the stairs in her wake....'I might as well just eat it all, then.'

I'm counting that as a small victory. Now to repeat with the nearly empty juice cartons left liberally all over the worktops. Mind you, perhaps it's unreasonable to expect her to put them in the recycling all by herself until she's old enough to handle such reponsibility.

Mine marauder the house ignoring everything edible and claiming there's no fooood. Every attempt at a healthy, balanced meal is met with "Why can't we have chicken nuggets like X does?", which I tell them they are more than welcome to buy and prepare their own, which backfired at about 15 when they actually started doing it, much to the dismay of their
cholesterol.

My 14 year old moans that I cook the same boring food all the time.

Now when she says it I smile and thank her for volunteering to do a weeks meal plan taking into account every ones preferences 😊 I’ll be happy to shop for it and cook them.

Not happened so far 😊 she does herself beans on toast or soup if she can’t bear to eat whatever I have cooked 😊

I was so pompous, I used to come home from uni and tell my parents they really were very insular and they should get out more and try to develop more as people, that they really were in a rut and there was a whole world out there ...

They smiled and said well thank you Bumps, for your advice (then ignored me and doubtless laughed together about it!)

My fifteen year old has been trying wilful ignorance to avoid washing her own sheets. First, she only managed to get them to the laundry floor. Next, we progressed, to putting them in the machine. Now, we can actually put the pod in the machine and turn it on!

Victory!

Next exciting instalment - how to put them in the dryer, or on the washing line, when the cycle ends. . .

Loved the DC who has returned from uni and now cries with delight at the well-stocked fridge.

DS has started uni now, but spent two years FT working 70hrs pw as a junior chef in a posh kitchen during which he became almost amenable and reasonable. It turned out that I didn't shout as much as "chef" clearly where I was going wrong before. Be more head chef, MN. A head chef on the rampage (because you have plated the garnish/cut the sandwiches incorrectly) is fearsomely scary. He learned!

Oh, I did forget about the time during the first lockdown when she had an epic meltdown because we ran out of garlic and she couldn't face eating a plain dinner. She was not happy at my refusal to go into the shops, just for garlic, and insisted she was going to knock on the neighbours door and ask for some. That's OK love, off you trot. Go around all the neighbours looking for garlic, in the middle of a pandemic, in a rural area where most of the neighbours have guns. FFS.

Oh dear, I can imagine my darling mother posting about me on this thread, and I haven't been a teenager for a couple of decades!

In my experience teenage girls are very keen on campaigning for tolerance and the human rights of every on the planet -apart from their mothers!

I was trying to reply to all the messages but there are so many. This fills me with an amazing sense of community

I truly thought I was alone, the worst parent - nay, human - to have ever bumbled through life.

But now I know I'm not alone and we can all take comfort that teens are bloody hard work! (just let's not tell our parents about our discovery. Nobody likes a smug parent after all!)

My friend has a theory that teenagers are worse this year because normally they hang out with their friends who tell them when they are being dicks

I don't have actual teenagers yet, but feel qualified to comment because DS1, who's 11, has effectively been a teenager since the age of 18 months- stropping is a fine art with him, and I can only pray that he's getting it out of his system early.

However, I feel equipped to deal with it, as I have worked in commercial kitchens quite a lot, and can do a mean head chef...

@XingMing you make a very good point there. Once you've experienced a fearsome boss, your mum seems like a fluffy kitten in comparison.

I'll get DD on the job sites immediately!

I have one the same age. All I can say, OP, is that I recognise every single thing you describe.

Conversations are along these lines:

Me: DD, could you pay me back the money you owe me?

DD: I'll do it when we get home.

Me (at home): DD, could you pay me back?

DD (huffily): I'll do it when I go upstairs.

Me (we are now upstairs): DD, could you let me have that money now we're upstairs?

DD: Oh for God's sake, I SAID I'd give it to you. It's in my coat pocket.

Me: So where's your coat?

DD: At school.

And so on...

We need a group t-shirt printed "Be more Head Chef"

It always ends with DD flouncing about me being SO UNREASONABLE and NOT UNDERSTANDING WHAT IT'S LIKE to be doing 'A' levels. As I have a doctorate, I think she's wrong, there.

If I haven't replied specifically to you, please rest assured that my head is nodding at EVERYTHING I'm reading (with the exception of the Uni stuff because I'm pretending you're all lying and at 18/19 they all become more reasonable.... I mean, it must be true )

She might grow out of it, university helps a lot, but alas it's not foolproof, I have one dd back with me (thanks covid) and she doesn't lift a finger, I've told her she needs to cook on Sunday and it was met with a "I don't know where anything is in the kitchen" reason, we'll try looking! I know I dared move but she's been here since December!

Unless you put on your eczema cream I’m not making you any toast ( oozing, open cracks, swollen)

Ok l won’t have any toast ( stomps off)🤷🏼‍♀️

@GertieGumboyle

It always ends with DD flouncing about me being SO UNREASONABLE and NOT UNDERSTANDING WHAT IT'S LIKE to be doing 'A' levels. As I have a doctorate, I think she's wrong, there.

Yeah but you're old and "haven't lived through A Levels during a pandemic"

I hurt myself due to the severe eye rolling when she trotted that line out. Apparently holding down a job, losing job, home schooling and running a house whilst keeping them all safe DURING the pandemic isn't anywhere near as difficult as her trials and tribulations.

@Springersrock

So I'm not the only one with complaints about eating too late? At least your dd is cooking, I just get "I'm hungry mama" you are 20, I am just in from work!

It might have been the maitre d who complained about the sandwiches being badly cut, but the experience of working in a fast-paced, hot uncomfortable kitchen improved his appreciation of home comforts no end.

He's quite dismissive of incompetence these days and having escaped to university, he's a bit to anyone complaining about study.

Oh yes, the 'why can't we eat at a civilised hour, like everyone else'?!

Well, I dunno, it's a bit bloody hard to, what with juggling between you tutoring, being tutored and your sodding fathers evening work conferences!