Stuff you think must happen to other people - but can't risk asking?

[IMissFrance]

Anyone else have stuff happen to you that must happen to others.

But you can't really ask because what if they say "NO! How weird!" And then you can never talk to that person again.

So I'm bringing it to the anonymity of Mumsnet.

I'd love to hear other peoples. And will start off.

• whenever I wash my hair in the shower (I have long hair) loose hairs wash down my back and end up in my bum crack. End of my shower I have to check there's no hair left.

I can't be alone in this grossness! (Or can I)

Earring holes, also belly button pierced hole, what is that smell when you itch the empty hole? Musty death! Yuk!

My belly button is like a labyrinth and hard to clean, I imagine it’s soap build up etc that hasn’t been flushed out on occasion but my god, it’s awful at times. Dh belly button is like a bowl and doesn’t retain anything.

Partner's sister was regaling us with stories about her freaky chin hairs that she plucks everyday. I am five years behind her age wise but I thought I would check just in case.

Found a humungus twig-like structure on my collar bone, pure white, thick as a piece of wire. Must have been there some time. Growing my beard from the chest up!

I am getting some kind of weird satisfaction from this thread.

Wow @TheQueef . That is done party trick!!

There are so many that I am nodding along to
Cobra spit
Fanny/ arse daggers
Yes to getting my large nipples (thank you for pointing it out- every midwife that has ever seen me breastfeed) when in bed.
I also once got a bit of my labia stuck through some lace on a pair of knickers

Since having my children (csection deliveries) I do the loudest but odourless farts. Every morning, as soon as I wake up and then again when I go for my morning wee.

I also have a magic appearing hair. From the back of my thigh- one day no thing, next dat- 6 inches long.

@IMissFrance

I really like this weird alternative thread post op.😊

Yes to so many of these. Runny nose during bj giving anyone?

@LouNatics

I have never fished hair out of my bum crack and I wear mine long. So it can’t be universal.

I always want to know where and how exactly you are supposed to cut your nails. I mean surely wherever you do it, they fly off everywhere. Do people do it in the bathroom? In their bedroom? Do you go hunting for nail pieces after or sweep or vac after? Do you do it in the bath? Over the loo? It’s so grim to find nail pieces but there never seems to be a sensible pace to do it...

DH does his over the toilet! I do mine over the nail care box thing and then empy it in the bin, but some still fly away.

I've not RTFT yet but just had to quickly say not only do I have to check MY bum crack for stray hairs, a couple of times they have ended up in DH's too! My hair gets everywhere haha

@1sttimemumtobe2021

Did you poo whilst giving birth? Key thought of mine being due in April with first baby. The stats are high for this from what I hear but I can't really ask haha!

I was worried about this too and to be honest I wouldn't know if I did they cleaned it up and didn't say anything. It felt like I was pooing!

Don't get hair in bum crack, now I'm wondering why I don't! Ha! It seems lots of people do.

I haven’t RTFT so I’m sure it’s been mentioned already but the stabby bum is proctalgia, a pelvic floor muscle spasm. Totally normal.

It’s one of those twice yearly phenomena for me, like Michael McIntyre’s mini sick.

@rosegoldivy

I fuckin live for threads like this.

Guilty of pulling hair out of my arse crack.
Also guilty for fishing fluff out my belly button.

Didn't pop in labour but I defo pissed myself, the midwife said it was my waters but I was like no I'm defo doing this on purpose.

Does anyone else get satisfaction of pulling a really good bogey out there nose?

When we used to visit the SW of the USA, desert regions and very dry air, I did used to think that I had shoved a load of cornflakes up my nose! Removing those could be very satisfactory and considerably less messy than a big bogey!

@HaudMaDug that made me guffaw, bloody brilliant!

@lounatics I open a window and cut my nails out the window, or if it's a warm day I'll just go outside and cut them.

I've always had this thing which makes me feel really ashamed actually.

If I see something really horrifying, like a scary murder scene in a film, or something that really makes me feel sick, I get a fanny tingle as if I'm turned on. But I'm the OPPOSITE of turned on, I'm viscerally disgusted by what I see. It's weird and I hate it.

I don't have long hair, so don't have the are's crack issue. But my daughter does, and I'm wondering if I should warn her....

@1sttimemumtobe2021 I did with my first. Totally oblivious until, about 5 months later chatting with a mate about the birth I said "at least I didn't poo" ha ha. One look T my DH face, and he confirmed that I had. I had ZERO idea so honestly, don't give it a second thought

@1sttimemumtobe2021

Did you poo whilst giving birth? Key thought of mine being due in April with first baby. The stats are high for this from what I hear but I can't really ask haha!

Old lady question here, after reading about pooing in the table, are you not given an enema these days? I always assumed that that was to avoid too many mishaps!

OMG fanny aches, I get them just before my period starts. If it happens in the morning I know my period will have started by then end of the day!

@AnotherSoddingWalk
I know exactly what you mean.

I need to stop reading this thread. I have massively overshared already.

I lose a lot of hair when I wash it - its very thick and I have a lot of it so I don't miss it but it takes me twice as long as I'm forever pulling it out of my crack, off my legs and out of the comb. I have a handy catcher though in the plug.
I farted when I was in the middle of my c section and started giggling. The surgeon just smiled and carried on,what a trooper

Really painful period poos? Literally feel like I'm giving birth. I can't be alone in this....

[quote Baublebox]@AnotherSoddingWalk
I know exactly what you mean.

I need to stop reading this thread. I have massively overshared already.[/quote]
Oh thank God, I thought I was the only one. It's not something I've ever told anyone in real life in case they think I'm a psychopath. Ironically, I'm actually over-empathetic and sensitive.

I was just talking to my dh the other day about my amazing syphoning vag after a bath. 🤣

Also get belly button discharge/infection, it stinks. I usually treat it with athletes foot power/Canesten cream and it clears up in a day.

My hair gets everywhere too, but not the bum crack, did find one wrapped around dh cock last night though.

Same here.
I'm not a psychopath, I promise.

Shooty shooty bum bum - omg, so fucking painful! What is it?? Endo related?
Hair in the arse crack - yep!
Pooed in labour, only once though.
Period poos?? They're horrific - like something has crawled up there and died.
My belly button stinks sometimes, I have two scars in there - grim!!
Scratching my scalp, to make it sore? Why do I do it? Not often, but once in a while.
I'm a tramp!