Stuff you think must happen to other people - but can't risk asking?

[IMissFrance]

Anyone else have stuff happen to you that must happen to others.

But you can't really ask because what if they say "NO! How weird!" And then you can never talk to that person again.

So I'm bringing it to the anonymity of Mumsnet.

I'd love to hear other peoples. And will start off.

• whenever I wash my hair in the shower (I have long hair) loose hairs wash down my back and end up in my bum crack. End of my shower I have to check there's no hair left.

I can't be alone in this grossness! (Or can I)

If you get the chance to walk around when you’re in labour then usually you go to the toilet a lot and it all comes out before you get to the pushing stage. The only times I’ve pops whilst giving birth were when I was strapped to the bed being monitored, by the time I started pushing I had t had the chance to go to the toilet so it came out in the pool! Didn’t bother me though.

@TellingBone

I frequently swallow my own saliva and it goes down the wrong way causing a coughing fit. Yep - I cannot manage my own saliva. I feel such a FOOL.

I have always done this, with covid it makes folk jump these days

Does everyone get a period shite and is it the most satisfying bowel movement of the month

Most of these things happen to me often. I think there was a thread a while ago on 'shooty bum pain' and people thought of loads of hilarious names for it.
My weird one I do a lot is when I get an itchy hand, my other hand doesn't seem to satisfy the itch properly, so I end up gnawing at it.

@MythsandSparkles Endometriosis often leads to pelvic floor dysfunction and this in turn can potentially cause proctalgia fugax. If it is causing significant problems then a pelvic floor physiotherapist can often help with this.

@MoltenLasagne

Apparently there's a really big link between digestive issues and periods, so some women will get constipation, others diarrhoea ahead of periods starting but they are massively under-researched because no-one wanted to ask if it happened to anyone else!

I also get hair in my bum - I do have a rather massive arse though, maybe women with more petite rears aren't as effected?

Yes! I always struggle to go before my period, then it's a bit loose when period starts. Nothing major though but there's definitely a difference.

The javelin arse pain is insane. Sometimes I'll really need to go to the loo but can't as the pain is so bad. When I eventually go, the pain stops

You are my people!
YES to bum crack hairs,
YES to sore vadge while on my period (although thankfully now ancient so don't have this any more)
I also used to get whopping period pain, but I knew that it would start to improve once I'd done the customary HUGE world-drops-out of-arse poo...
Good grief, I'd nearly forgotten about that until I read this... now crying with laughter! Thank you one and all

@Baublebox

Does anyone elses vagina store up bath water and then release it at some time after you have gotten out of the bath (usually just after you have put clean pyjamas on)? Or do I just have a massive fanny?

Oh my god yes 😂

I get out of the bath and I always sit by the radiator as it's nice and warm, and just look through my phone. Sometimes when I stand up again it comes out and trickles down my leg 😂 I have to check if my period has started sometimes but no it's always just water!

@TheSpottedDog

Yes to the bath water gushing out 10 minutes after putting clean pjs on

Yes to the satisfaction of pulling a good bogie out of my nose

I also like to pull eye snot from my dogs eyes ... especially when I can see it upwrapping from around the eyeball.

I sometimes "help" my cats by getting crusty bits from out of their eyes. They don't seem in the least bit grateful but they wouldn't be able to do it themselves their claws are too sharp!!

The gunk when you have worn pierced earrings for a while is horrid. Presume it is trapped dead skin cells.

I brush my hair before a shower because I hate cleaning out the plug hole which in old house was often, here I think the hair must keep going because it is downstairs.

Javelin arse and ice-cream headache are definitely normal, but.....

I also get potato back - if I swallow a piece of potato that's too big, then I get a pain in the upper centre of my back!

I also get a mutant hair that grows invisibly just underneath my chin until it is about a cm long, then mysteriously becomes visible overnight!

btw, just wanted to add.....

This thread has made me laugh so hard - keep 'em coming!

OMG I started thinking this thread and wondered if I could be brave enough to mention the vag storing bath water thing!!?

It happened more than 30 years ago when I had a bath before going out on a Christmas meal! Luckily it was quite dark so I hoped no one noticed the puddle on my chair! 😳

I sometimes get random aching on the perineum where I was stitched post birth - nearly 11 years ago!

@Dollywilde

I didn’t poo in labour. However, DH thought I had... and then realised that it was just my massively engorged labia everything has gone back to a normal size and colour now I assure you!

I should probably NC after this post

So many things there I'm not going to Google (well maybe on someone else's computer)

@PolarnOPirate

Does anyone else's pubes grow really far down their legs? My mum used to not shave the back of her thighs for swimming on holidays etc and always mortified me.

Also if you shave your pubes how the hell do you get right in there without cutting yourself.... this is always the main reason I have always just had a neat bush rather than all off. Also have never been for a wax because how do you prep for that, what if there is discharge etc present!! Horror! I have no-one to ask IRL haha.

I use these, even managed fine doing it blind at 9 months pregnant before I went in for induction

I didn't poo during birth, only because the beginning of labour (at home) I had so much diarrhoea and vomiting, there was nothing left by the time I was pushing.

I stopped breastfeeding over 6 months ago but could still give that idiot doctor a squirt in the eye!

Georgyporky
"I was given an enema when birth was imminent; is this not done now?
Also shaved, which seemed quite unnecessary."

When did you give birth? The 1950's?

@Salmonwindow I’m dying

Sorry but I keep re reading this one and laughing!

Yes to:
-hair in crack
-bathwater-vag
-javelin arse (also Javelin Vag - which is probably endo/prolapse related)
-mysterious long hair on face that grows overnight like a secret mushroom
-bellybutton cheese
-eternal eye goop in one corner
-cobra yawning
-making sounds to chase away cringe memories (also imagining terrible things happening, and making a noise to eliminate the idea - DH asks me what's going on and I have to pretend I'm just clearing my throat)
-poo during labour, but I couldn't care less - all sorts of stuff was coming out of me that day
-chewing the inside of my face
-massive period poo (and it being the most satisfying one of the month)

Glad to find that we're all the same really, and no need to be embarrassed about any of these things.

What about tonsil stones? I once yawned and one popped out and landed on my leg. It was green, hard, and stank to high heaven. Thankfully only my sister noticed.

Oh god yes to the bum crack hair after a shower! My hubby finds my hairs in his arse crack too 😂 and once he rang me from work to complain one of my hairs was wrapped round his knob

@PowerhousePatty

Sometimes (maybe once a month) I open my mouth to speak or yawn and a spray of saliva comes out. I don’t know how it happens and can’t replicate it so I don’t know when it will happen which can be embarrassing at times!

Salivary glands in overdrive. I get it too!

@mamaatthegym

I’m the only person I know who gets diarrhoea as a reaction to nerves, excitement or adrenalin.

Thus - I did not poo giving birth because I had got so excited and nervous in early labour that I had already emptied the contents of my bowels

Me, and basically everyone I know, gets this! Maybe I'm too open and talk to too many people