Stuff you think must happen to other people - but can't risk asking?

[IMissFrance]

Anyone else have stuff happen to you that must happen to others.

But you can't really ask because what if they say "NO! How weird!" And then you can never talk to that person again.

So I'm bringing it to the anonymity of Mumsnet.

I'd love to hear other peoples. And will start off.

• whenever I wash my hair in the shower (I have long hair) loose hairs wash down my back and end up in my bum crack. End of my shower I have to check there's no hair left.

I can't be alone in this grossness! (Or can I)

Oh and I can never let a full wee out either. I always have to go back ten minutes later

To @AnotherSoddingWalk

I replay conversations, some going back YEARS, with myself, rephrasing what I'd say and how I'd say it and how confident I'd be so as to come out on top of a discussion and put the other person in their place.

@AnotherSoddingWalk

I've always had this thing which makes me feel really ashamed actually.

If I see something really horrifying, like a scary murder scene in a film, or something that really makes me feel sick, I get a fanny tingle as if I'm turned on. But I'm the OPPOSITE of turned on, I'm viscerally disgusted by what I see. It's weird and I hate it.

I get this too. Often to horrific stories of abuse or something, I wonder what the fuck is up with my nervous system. I'm NOT turned on, I'm sickened. So glad I'm not alone!

@IAmStrange I have done the same since about the same age, though I find a thumb is better than a finger. Have to do it more these days as have a slight rectocele so if I'm a bit constipated the poo just turns sideways and won't come out without 'encouragement' and I have to use my thumb to exert pressure against the back wall of my vagina. Like a PP I do sometimes have to actually fish out little lumps with my finger. Ditto hand scrubbing!

I didn't name change, I am well known for oversharing!

@MisiSam

Sometimes I will get a pain like someone has stabbed me up the bum, only lasts a second and it's really sharp!

I get that at a certain time if the month. I think it called javelin arse on mumsnet! It’s sooo painful!

@TellingBone

I frequently swallow my own saliva and it goes down the wrong way causing a coughing fit. Yep - I cannot manage my own saliva. I feel such a FOOL.

Oh god yes! I do this all the time. It’s such a shock when it happens.

@AnotherSoddingWalk Nope, you're not alone. I get that too. When reading about horrible murders, rapes, missing people. It's really disturbing. Can only assume it's a fear response

I think a lot of people get the urge when they get nervous don't they?

Perhaps it's just my family. I used to frequently run into my DSis in the school loos when it was exam week!

But can I add, the weird thing when you swallow and ‘miss’ and get an awful clenching pain in your throat about five seconds later.

I get this, but the pain is more in my upper chest. I once had one which was unusually bad - for about thirty seconds I wondered if I was having a heart attack. I mentioned it to my GP and he thought it was an oesophageal spasm.

So many of these, yes.

I get hairs around my nipples. They are fine and dark like my eyelashes, definitely getting more noticeable with age and after dc but also worse around my period (when that one chin hair also pops up). Am I the only hairy nippled one? Strange thing is that I'm not generally very hairy

My hair gets everywhere too, but not the bum crack, did find one wrapped around dh cock last night though

Pmsl. Pesky hair really does get everywhere.

My cat had one coming out of his arse once. We didn't know whether to pull on it or not. Eventually it must have worked it's way out.

@IAmStrange - I have to do that sometimes. A rectocele I believe.

Thanks big headed children. 😓

Have a lot more hair on my breasts since my 40s.

[quote Ohwhatbliss]@AnotherSoddingWalk Nope, you're not alone. I get that too. When reading about horrible murders, rapes, missing people. It's really disturbing. Can only assume it's a fear response [/quote]
Fear response is interesting, I hadn't considered that. Not sure why we are wired to feel anything 'down there' but perhaps it's a bit like a referred pain, where the sensation is generated elsewhere but felt in the genitals.

@IAmStrange

Omg I have found my people! Yes to so many of these

Shower bum hair
Stabby arse
Bogey pulling satisfaction
Eye bogeys (especially black mascara ones)
And the period poos - omg they are horrendous

I'll add to the list...

The satisfaction of squeezing/digging out an ingrown hair - especially when it's a REALLY long one!

Picking dirt/fluff from toenails - fingernails mentioned by PP but toes even stinkier!

Squeezing the stinky stuff out of piercings

Apologies if I have lowered the tone, was so excited to see I'm not alone (but not excited enough to not name change first!)

Yes, yes, yes. I love my weekly stinky piercing squeeze. The gunk in eyes my family calls Bed. The gunk in between toes, toe jam.

@HeidiHaughton

Have a lot more hair on my breasts since my 40s.

I have a lot more everywhere.

A few on each nipple.

Back of my thighs have a couple.

And one on my lower stomach.

Ugh. The misery of age.

@IMissFrance I pooed a bit during my first labour. I was mortified. STBXH thought this an hilarious anecdote to regale during a dinner party. Needless to say we’re getting divorced (3 more kids later.... don’t know why it’s taken me so long!). I nearly died of embarrassment and had to leave the table in tears.

I'm so glad I came back to this! Assumed it had died a death at 6 posts this morning and it's done wonders for my body confidence today.

Also - the most satisfying bogeys are the dry ones that hurt a bit to pick out.

Scab picking rules.

And nothing beats a REALLY good ingrown hair. I'm there with a needle and tweezers and a bright light.

@LightDrizzle

Worrying I’ve got a defective bum crack now, as that’s never happened to me.

Arse daggers is definitely a thing, I get it sometimes when on my period. It’s fucking awful!

Another victim of the arse daggers here

I was so worried about labour poo.

Thankfully I labour VERY slowly and also poo when nervous.

So I had the chance for a clear out each time. And my DH swears I didn't poo at any point. So I'm hoping it's true!

For those mentioning the cobra spray / gleeking, I do this.

I didn’t realise what it was until the other day. Apparently you can train the salivary glands under your tongue to spray on demand

My pubes are migrating upwards to my chin and down along the back of my legs and inner thighs. Havent had a wax since late November so Im glad its not shorts season ....

Also YY to period poos - no effort required and massively satisfying.

Howling at some of these and also nodding along.
No pooping during 3x vag births. My body empties before labour by itself which is probably one of the few helpful/non embarrassing things it's done :) I remember being paranoid about it though, particularly at the start of labour.

Yes to the bum crack hairs - I thought this only happened to me before reading this. Hallelujah I'm not a mega moulting freak.
Also when I've freshly shaved my pubic hair it acts like fucking velcro to said moulting hairs and I have to untangle them from my skin and labia :)
Poor dh has had my hair in his own bum crack and also wrapped around his penis under his foreskin! How it gets there I don't know, I tie my hair back whenever I go near his crotch so it baffles me.

Yes to stabby bum pain - I'll totally out myself if any of my colleagues or even customers from that day are on here but once at work while serving it was a really bad stab. You know that thing you do when desperate for a wee or in pain and kind of bring one knee/hip in towards the other as if to squash the issue away (maybe just me?) well I done that but wasn't ready that it would bastard hurt more and swiftly fell over in a heap on the floor shouting owww! I explained that I had twisted my ankle haha
Dare I breathe these words?.... I haven't actually felt it for a while now.

Yes to fanny aches right before my period.
I get constipated with my period not the opposite.
I get loads of wind during it too, never smells but lots and lots of it.
I have quite patchy pubic hair now from years of removing it but when it would grow back it never came back curly only straight. If I let it keep growing my fanny would look more like an Afghan hound than an afro

So, does anyone else get an accidental pube in the urethra now and again? Hurts like mad.