Stuff you think must happen to other people - but can't risk asking?

[IMissFrance]

Anyone else have stuff happen to you that must happen to others.

But you can't really ask because what if they say "NO! How weird!" And then you can never talk to that person again.

So I'm bringing it to the anonymity of Mumsnet.

I'd love to hear other peoples. And will start off.

• whenever I wash my hair in the shower (I have long hair) loose hairs wash down my back and end up in my bum crack. End of my shower I have to check there's no hair left.

I can't be alone in this grossness! (Or can I)

@HearMeSnore

Oh my god!!! I double sneeze when I imagine snogging someone. Had it all my life!!! Thought it was just me. Maybe some weird Pavlovian response.

‘Well that’s four or five of us who have admitted to female ejaculation. Is it this rare?
I know when it first happened to me I tried to bring the subject up with friends but in every case they thought I was speaking about orgasm. I tried on mumsnet before and again everyone assumed I was referring to orgasm. Why is it not more widely known about?
For me it only happens during the most uninhibited orgasm and very rarely. I would love to be able to get that aroused on my own as current and final OH will never help me achieve it and it makes me sad to think that I’ll never again reach that peak.
Anybody have any advice on this?’

Yes! This exactly. I have to put a towel down. It only first happened to me late 30s. And only happens when I’m super aroused and only with DP fingers. I was embarrassed when it first happened. Yes a gush rather than a squirt.

[quote TellingBone]That reminds me. I get the urge to go when I go into a bookshop or library, or when I'm settling down to concentrate on something.

And recently I found out that it's a thing - Mariko Aoki phenomenon.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariko_Aoki_phenomenon[/quote]
OMG - I get this!!! I just thought I was odd! I have to plan my Waterstones visits very carefully!

My stomach looks like a road map and an apron turned into one.

I can only eat fruit or yoghurts I’ve selected for myself. If it’s been offered to me by someone I can’t have them. It’s totally irrational but I think it must be a primitive part of my brain that’s making sure I’m not poisoned or something.

I had an orgasm whilst giving birth to DC1. In fairness though I had retained placenta, causing a huge bleed which had to be stemmed while they prepped for surgery. Meaning a midwife was literally fisting me. That's when I had an orgasm

hairs around the nipple that have to be plucked...asking for a friend...

Tit clap anyone? If I roll over quickly in bed my tits clap! Dh thinks it's hilarious.

With the heights clenching and pain in my nether regions it also happens if on the tv a man is kicked or otherwise damaged in the balls I feel the pain, that is so weird OH laughs when I curl up in pain.

When I take my bra off at the end of the day sometimes there is an odour in my cleavage sort of sweet and biscuity from them having been bound up all day.

Yes female ejaculation but only with a vibrator. Makes a huge mess, need a towel down in preparation lol

@Toottootdrivers

Does anyone else get ever get a massive glob of jelly discharge? Seriously, loads. I could make a trifle (but I won't...)

Oh lord yes, then at other times in my cycle enough fluid discharge that it would drip if I stood still for a few minutes naked

@Sporranrummager I have wet dreams where I orgasm in my sleep. I’m usually dreaming about masturbating.

@OldYorkshirePud I get similar to when people get hurt on you’ve been framed except it’s like some has kicked me in the groin. So painful

@KylieKangaroo

Does anyone else have this thing where you're half way between being awake falling asleep and you let out an involuntary noise? And you're never really sure if anyone else can hear it or if it even came from your mouth! It happens all the time to me I think but I can't prove it or explain it

Yes!! Mostly if I start to nod off in a chair - DH thinks it's hilarious!

@DamnitImTired

Bits of toilet paper left on your fancy after you wipe ....

Husband laughs but I make sure before I go to gynae there are not little pieces of rolled up toilet paper residue left. I would die.

That makes me think of a story told by the This Morning doctor Chris Steele. Before being examined, a woman had used a tissue from the bottom of her handbag to have a quick wipe round.

He bent forward to examine her and there, stuck to her pubes, was a Green Shield stamp .

This will only make sense to posters of a certain age.

This thread has me in absolute stitches. Vote for classics! I love that we're all human and don't care!

I have the disgusting period poos and farts- like pure egg and boiled cabbage.

I ejaculate every time I have a 'manual' orgasm, iykwim, ie either me or DH touching my clitoris. Gush sometimes, sometimes true squirting! We keep little hand towels rolled beside the bed for under me .

I also get the 'can't wee' for a while after when I go to the toilet!

I am a voracious nose picker. Nothing better than a hard, big bogey. I think almost get turned on it's so good. And yes to the thin layer on the hard, bony part- if I put a dry pinky on it and whip.it out quickly it comes out on one sheet- pure bliss!

Does anyone else's brain go to the unthinkable in a sort of daydream? Like, your children dying a horrible death/ you being kidnapped/ raped? I then freak out and need to shake my head physically to get the thought out of my head. WHY does my brain do that?!!

@Chienloup

I have a problem with rice. Whenever I eat it, I am guaranteed that at some point in the meal I will get a feeling that there is a big clump of it in my chest. It is extremely painful and I feel like I'm suffocating. The only way to get over it is a huge glass of water and forced deep breaths. Please tell me someone knows what this is.

Yes - I usually end up feeling like there is a huge lump of rice stuck at the bottom of my throat/top of my chest - quite uncomfortable and I have to just sit and wait for it to go.

Also a rice thing - I get hiccups every time I eat rice. Every. Single. Time.

I ejaculate sometimes but only ever with a vibrator and multiple orgasms, it’s never on the first go. But people seem to fall all over themselves to tell you it’s impossible and it’s just wee I know my body!

@JamieFrasersSassenach

I CANNOT believe needing a poo in a bookshop is a thing!!

I have had this ever since childhood. Bookshops and WHSmiths.

I'm in shock!!

Is there a reason why I always need a poo when I'm anxious?

Most ladies do but its not announced ,

You will only know if your birthing partner notices and tells you

The midwife just scoops it up and gets rid of it

@1sttimemumtobe2021

I don't grow leg hair in the winter, but can shave twice a week in the summer!!!

@CharityRoyall

I do with my partner everytime.

Never with anyone else.

I wouldnt tell a sole

@CharityRoyall

I ejaculate sometimes but only ever with a vibrator and multiple orgasms, it’s never on the first go. But people seem to fall all over themselves to tell you it’s impossible and it’s just wee I know my body!

I think it's because it's such a big thing in porn, and in most cases the actresses are weeing because it's all fake and there's big pressure to squirt.

I personally never have but I have close friends who have said they do and I certainly believe them. I'm jealous!