Crackers you've read on MN

[MrsMarrio]

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me

@LunaNorth

The Suzi Quattro’s fat nan thread was my all-time favourite - the line that still makes me laugh was the woman who walked into her house with a new perm and her BIL said, ‘Bloody hell, it’s Colonel Gadaffi!’

I was the fat match by the way

You're the fat match?

You are comedy gold, as is that entire thread. One I return to often!

@FromDespairToHere

My favourite thing I've ever read on here is a woman who went swimming and clearly had baby brain because she forgot to put her bottoms on. She sat on the side of the pool holding said baby and her DH hissed "Jane! Your minge!"

I've only got to here in the thread and I have to stop because I haven't done enough Kegels recently.

Fucking brilliant, OP, thank you, I so needed this today!

I thought sleep deprived minge lady had casually stepped out her bikini bottoms poolside, the way you’d step out of your knickers before climbing into the bath. I might be misremembering though.

Bupcakes of lemon drizzle-fame did have a way with words, didn’t she? I can’t hear the Bananas in Pyjamas theme song without thinking of the “sharted in Pilates” version composed in her honour.

someones toddler shouted in a public toilet that they had ham between their legs

the poster who was going to interrupt her BIL's wedding because she didn't like the bride, and the posters were egging on her asking to see what she would wear and if she would share the zoom code made me LOL

@Chutneymaura

Can’t believe no ones mentioned penis beakers yet 😬

This was going to be my suggestion. Best thing I've ever read on the internet.

@LunaNorth

I loved the thread started my a young fella who wanted to give all us ‘ladies’ advice on using IT.

You can imagine how that went. The best comment went something like,

‘Thank God you’re here. I’ve just been bashing the keyboard with my tits and hoping for the best.’

I just can't stop 😂

This thread has made my day!

These are absolutely brilliant! I can't stop howling 😁

Not a particular comment but a thread. The one where the op had a dispute with a neighbour. Over parking possibly. Her other neighbour came out and backed her up and was declared as obviously a mumsnetter too, and I think she was and actually posted on the thread.

Ive not had chance to read the full thread so might have been mentioned.

A lady was a in a clothes store and a shopper thought she was a sales assistant and asked her if she had a pair of trousers in a certain size.....instead of saying she didn't work there she walked round the corner (stayed a couple of mins, enough time to check the 'stockroom') and came back to lady and said they didn't have them in her size [Big Grin]….. made me laugh.

Nothing to do with old threads but reminds me of a time I was in town and stopped by a stranger asking if I lived in the West End.

Yes, yes I do, I replied.

No I bloody don’t! WTF was I thinking?!

She started asking me something specific and I had to say actually I don’t live there. Sorry. What she must’ve thought of me? I’m slightly disappointed I didn’t find out why she was asking.

There’s a thread somewhere where the op is asking about a specific pushchair (I think) she wanted opinions on before purchasing, no replies until a couple of years later when the same poster replies to herself without realising. That pops up in my head from time to time. The responses of people pointing it out were quite funny.

I wish I could find it!

@CigarsofthePharoahs I was coming back to say F5 as well. Every time I need to refresh my screen for any reason I remember it.

I’ve just tried to find it in the pushchairs topic. No luck but there seems to be a lot of bunfights for a seemingly innocuous topic....

I think the ecco pram thread ended up in classics.

I’ve been mentioned twice on here
I was the one who starred ww3 amongst our friends with the argument about eating mothers AND I was the idiot who took my coat off so baby DD was wearing 1 more layer than me
I should be embarrassed but I’m not

One of the first threads I saw was about a woman who had a new baby. She was concerned as she had farted near to the baby. Fart was smelly and she was worried her baby had now consumed poo vapour..
I did laugh but I was also concerned about her...

@BillCar

Oh I've just remembered a hilarious thread where a poster wanted ideas on what to buy lesbians for Christmas, must try and dig it out.

Not wearing my glasses right now and I read that as "where to buy lesbians". I assumed there had been an autocorrect in the original post that caused the hilarity.

'Punch the cake!'

There is a thread in Classic about a woman who was asking about home anal bleaching. Some of the replies on that thread are hilarious. The one that stood out for me was the poster who suggested that she did not leave the bleach on for too long in case she would end up looking like a polo mint.

I'd quite forgotten bout Brian from Ull.

Wonder what he's up to?

@Hoppinggreen

I’ve been mentioned twice on here I was the one who starred ww3 amongst our friends with the argument about eating mothers AND I was the idiot who took my coat off so baby DD was wearing 1 more layer than me I should be embarrassed but I’m not

You HAD to do those things, it was your destiny that you would become MN famous as a result.

Twat fate I tells ya

Lady who recommended the Elton John movie if you wanted a ‘boost in the fanjo’

@sunshineOutdoors here is the link 😁👌

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/752184-hauck-stroller-pound-25-Asda?pg=1&order=