What’s the most mortifying situation you’ve ever found yourself in?

[RosieLemonade]

I was once round my MIL and FILs having Christmas drinks when MILs affair came out. It was excruciating. All the (adult) children were crying and I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. DH wouldn’t come home because he wanted to stay with his dad so I just keep making cups of tea and doing washing up! what’s been your most mortifying situation.

@HotPatootiebootie I laughed out loud for real at your story.

I have done so make cringe things, a couple still make me shrink into the chair.

One from last year as my waters were breaking, the nurse asked me to hold my finger out ( to put the heart monitor clip on) for some inexplicable reason, I pulled her finger. No idea what I was thinking.
She just burst out laughing and I sort of pulled a face and said sorry. She must of told the other Nurse because she came in later , introduced herself and said 'you don't need to pull my finger' then started laughing.

Another one happened years ago during a work meeting when I was just starting out - I went to get some paperwork and on my back to hand it over to all these big senior managers, I tripped over the carpet and did this weird little run after it. They went quiet then carried on talking. I felt about 7 years old . I would of preferred it if they had laughed but it was the fact they just ignored it that made it worse.

Oh my gosh, another one, I was introducing myself to one of my clients and was so busy trying to remember his name ( he had a really unusual name) I shook his hand and said 'hello, I'm...xxxxxxxx' and actually said his name.
So embarrassed.

I promise I'm actually very professional and competent but you wouldn't think it from some of the above!

We had an Open Day where I worked, lots of possible new clients coming in.

It was the days of mobiles that weren't like smartphones but they were colour screens etc, good cameras in them.

A man and his wife came and I was schmoozing them and we were talking about this and that and it came up about phones and we both had the same model of phone, new out cutting edge lol etc, so were comparing notes.

I said I had a problem with something to do with taking pics and he handed me his phone as he didn't have his glasses with him and said 'look at the settings on my phone'

Well.... I went into pics and the latest photo came up and it was a woman on all fours, naked, with nipple tassels hanging down. 😂
What made it worse... it wasn't his wife!

I blustered and flustered and said OK I've worked it out, but he just persisted asking me about the settings and trying to compare his and my phone.
I had to pretend my boss was calling me over and I rang to the loo in hysterics desperate to tell my workmates!

These are all brilliant, am so glad you’ve shared these. @Findmeonetsy and @Northernsoullover - I think I’d kind of forgotten how good a blooming big belly laugh with tears feels like so thank you!

When I was younger I worked parttime in a shop. We had pretty steep stairs that went up to the staff breakroom and one night I was going up among with some collegues as other collegues were coming down at the same time. I lost my balance and instinctively grapped one of my collegues (who was going down).....by the boobs.
I was mortified and have apologized a 1000 times whilst everybody else was just laughing.

Oh too many to mention

First serious boyfriend- his mum and dad went on holiday leaving him and siblings home alone. We were 17/18. His mum phoned to check how things were and ofcourse we were getting it on in his room...his sister (aged 16) walked in on us to catch me stradling him no bra...mortified!

Asking a complete stranger if she was pregnant and putting my hand on her belly...WHY! SHE WASNT PREGNANT

When i was going out with now dh and his dad walked in on us going at it so he could tend to the boiler that was so inconveniently in dh room....he just slid off me

In fact i have too many examples of being heard/caught shagging too count

Not necessarily mortifying, but still makes me laugh. I’d had a real phobia of the dentists for years. Think it was at least 15 years since I’d been. Finally decided I needed to try to get things sorted and a friend recommended her dentist. He was absolutely fantastic and was great at helping me start to feel more comfortable about going.

Started off with a few visits requiring a small filling each time. The final visit was for a tooth extraction which I was absolutely terrified about. Had my gums numbed with gel and then the injections. Am laid back in the chair waiting for them to take effect and he had to pop out of the room to get something. When he came back into the room and went to walk to the head of the chair, the arm rest got caught in the pocket of his scrubs and pretty much launched him half on top of me as he lost his balance. Me, the dentist and the nurse took a good couple of minutes to stop laughing, each time we paused for breath one of us would set it all off again. Once the procedure was over he walked me out to reception and the couple of patients waiting were interested to know how a dental appointment could be so much fun. It certainly helped me a bit more with my phobia!

I jumped on my DH a bit too enthusiastically in a hotel and snapped his banjo.

We were both quite drunk and there was blood everywhere.

I was crying, frantically trying to find my phone to call an ambulance as i didn't know what had happened.

I'm a bit more worldly wise these days!

Stood in a queue at Tescos with about 15 other people - really busy. My OH had nipped off to get something we'd forgotten and I suddenly thought how nice it might be to have some popcorn while we watched a movie later, so I called him up on the mobile to ask him to grab some.

He couldn't quite hear me so I had to speak nice and loudly. "POP CORN!".

What I actually said - apparently - was to ask him to pick up some cock porn, because movie night wasn't movie night without cock porn.

This is from a good 20 years ago, but I still cringe thinking about it.

Can’t remember what event I was going to, but I decided that I’d like a tan for it. Having never used fake tan before, decided to do the sensible thing and have it done professionally. There was a really nice gym near my London office that had a spa, so I booked an appointment.

When I arrived, was shown to the room and was told to undress and that she’d be back in a couple of minutes. She pointed to a small, clear plastic bag on the bed and said “and pop that on”. So, I undressed and opened the small plastic bag. It contained a strip of fabric with two elastic hoops.

Couple of minutes later she knocked on the door and I said I was ready. She came in and looked momentarily shocked before composing herself and letting me know that it wasn’t a head-band to hold my long hair off my face, it was a pair of paper knickers to protect my modesty. My sister still loves to remind me of this story (she’s normally the one who does daft things, so she loves having one to remind me of every now and then!)

Laughing so much at these.

My worst was probably when I was doing my driving test - arrived with my instructor, went in and got my examiner then walked out to the car together and I - for some unknown reason - got into the passenger seat and buckled up. The examiner had to walk round, knock on my window and say, 'I think you'll find this a little easier if you sit in the driving seat'. I was mortified! No idea how I passed - maybe I felt the worst had already happened?!

I also hit a dentist VERY hard once. He said 'raise your hand if you need me to stop' and then (root canal) accidentally burned my lip and I panicked and raised my hand so fast I smacked him right in the face and he staggered back - stuff flew everywhere and made such a racket. To make it worse, he was really, really annoyed and unpleasant and I never went back for the second part of the treatment (had to restart the root canal with my new dentist!)

A few years ago I got picked up from the train station by a friend, she met me off the platform and we walked back to her car. I was so wrapped up in telling her a funny story as I climbed into the car and put my seatbelt on that I didn’t notice I’d actually gotten into a very similar looking one parked next to hers. I only realised when the poor old lady in the driver’s seat started screaming. So I did too.

Best one I've observed was when my entire extended team (150ish) went to a conference at a hotel, and we were all packed into one large room. During the first lecture, a colleague got up and because he was at the front the speaker paused to allow him to leave. He obviously felt pressure and started to hurrry. So we all watched in silence as this guy quickly walked into a large cupboard. And then we waited. And then he exited the cupboard (to much applause) and left the room instead to go to the loo as originally intended!

I had to join in and do something with my twins at toddler ballet and my fags and lighter fell out of my trouser pocket and scattered all over the floor. Lots of other more respectable mums looking on. Still cringe thinking about it now.

We were on a cruise with DPs parents. We walked into the bar area and the place was completely rammed. Me and DP walked down to the centre of the bar area to look for a table. I turned around to point to a potential area and there was this waiter with a tray of drinks really close behind me. My hand went flying into the tray of drinks and in slow motion I could see them all falling towards me. I instinctively grabbed two toppling glasses with both hands. Managed to stop the entire tray falling, but the momentum of me grabbing the glasses meant both me and waiter got quite badly splashed. My dress was soaked all down one side.

The whole bar was like "ooooooooohhhhhh!" The waiter was repeatedly apologising. I just sort of looked at DP and hot footed it out of the bar.

Afterwards DP was then like "Why did you do that?! Why did you grab the drinks?!" It was that or get about 5 pints of beer all down me!!

I think this has been my favourite thread ever.

I’ve got nothing to add unfortunately, that I can think of.
I did literally within the last few hours ask DD to “whack me” after I accidentally rubbed her arm to comfort her after her booster injections in the exact arm I was rubbing to comfort her.

So asking my 3yo DD to whack me in front of the health visitor is making me cringe a bit currently. I don’t generally encourage anyone to ‘whack’ anyone

Was dating a guy... His flatmate walked through the front door (he was meant to be staying at his girlfriend's that night) to see me totally naked, lying back on the sofa, legs WIDE open with the guy going down on me... I think I'd met him once before then... Surprisingly I wasn't that mortified as I was young (25ish) and pretty confident in myself, we all thought it was absolutely hilarious. Looking back at it, I am DYING.

Also, DH tripped over and fell into an indoor fountain at a very swanky office in Sweden - in front of his international colleagues and CEO of the company. I still giggle every time I think of the image!

@AriettyHomily that finished me! The thought of him with his head in your skirt 🤣

he had his finger in my mouth, shouted suction to the assistant. For some reason thought it was aimed at me, and I sucked his finger

I just had a coughing fit and a bit of wee came out luckily I’m home alone

Worked in hospitality.

Man proposes to girlfriend in front of the whole restaurant, very big show... she says no!

When I was in high school, I had a mouthful of pop when my friends made me laugh, I spat it out all over myself & through my nose in front of my crush. I was totally mortified. I couldn't look at him without turning bright red for a while after!

My car broke down and when the tow truck came he hoisted the car up by it's front, then said 'get in.' He had to stop me climbing into the car (6 feet up in the air) as he meant get in the tow truck obviously.

Some years back I was looking around houses to rent. I do have a tendancy to get a bit carried away and so found I had booked to view a 5 bed house in an area I really wanted, but I was planning on living there alone.

As I started to view it, with the agent, I became aware just how daft such a big house would be, just for me. So, when the agent asked me "how many children do you have?" I felt like I would seem stupid to say tell the truth - none and it was just me.

My little brain thought quickly... 'no problem, just lie a bit'. What my little brain could NOT do, however, was very quickly work out how many children would make such a house a reasonable option.

"Ur, four or five" came my answer.

The agent looked at me like I was either mad or the worst mother she'd come across.

We did not speak again after that.

I will never forget one on here when someone said they were having a smear and as the nurse bent over to look the poster said they farted mid smear. They said it was that loud that it the nurses fringe actually parted!
Still makes me chuckle.

In my twenties I moved to London met now Dh and was happily living with him. Had a meeting in my old town so suggested meeting up with my old rather uptight flat mate. Her boyfriend very kindly offered to drop me at the station was first time I met him. As I got out of his car I kissed him! Why?!?! Was a sort of mum kiss you would give a member of your family but still. Just cringed the whole train journey home! Think it’s because usually dh or my parents that would give me a lift in that situation so was automatic!