What’s the most mortifying situation you’ve ever found yourself in?

[RosieLemonade]

I was once round my MIL and FILs having Christmas drinks when MILs affair came out. It was excruciating. All the (adult) children were crying and I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. DH wouldn’t come home because he wanted to stay with his dad so I just keep making cups of tea and doing washing up! what’s been your most mortifying situation.

(My friend arrived actually about 20 mins later- they had the same hair to be fair )

Bookmarking to read later!

@Findmeonetsy

Laughing my head off at high 5-info your boss! Reminded me when I was at the dentist, he had his finger in my mouth, shouted suction to the assistant. For some reason thought it was aimed at me, and I sucked his finger

OMFG. I’m dying 😂😂

When I was in my early 20s I had bad social anxiety, it was worse when I'd meet someone out of their usual context.
I was on the street one morning, extremely hungover, when a girl I knew said hello. We did that awkward will we stop to chat or not and ended up chatting.
I had completely confused her with someone else. I just babbled on for ages about mutual friends, the last time I'd met her in a pub, loads of stuff while she stood and smiled awkwardly. As she walked away I realised my mistake. She'd had no idea what I was on about. Luckily I had known het from work and she had recently left so I never saw her again.

Reminded me when I was at the dentist, he had his finger in my mouth, shouted suction to the assistant. For some reason thought it was aimed at me, and I sucked his finger

Hilarious 😆

I had a c-section and was told I would have to be lightly shaved below
To save myself embarrassement, I did this myself, a neat trim!
The next day,I proudly told the nurse " Oh don't worry I've already done it".
She bluntly said, ' It needs to be all off, not neatly round the edge".
I was 18 at the time and mortified!

These are great. I’m sure I’ve got many of my own to add, will have a think and decide what I’m happy to admit to!

My DIL was doing my makeup.So opened my case and my vibrator fell out.

I have no idea how it got in there

When I was about seventeen, one of my friends became a bit annoying and clingy. He’d recently been dumped and was gutted so I was spending lots of time with him and inviting him out with other friends, but we ended up spending a lot of time together and he was getting a bit passive aggressive if I did anything without him or met up with other people. It was in the days of chatting to friends over msn messenger.

I copied and pasted his messages to this other friend, so that I could slag him off, with annotations and ranting. I was being a real nasty cow. You know the sort of thing... loads of exclamation marks, swearing and hyperbole. But I’d actually sent it all to clingy friend. I copied and pasted his own messages back to him. Ugh. I felt sick when I realised what I’d done. I turned the computer off at the switch as though that would turn back time. I still feel a bit sweaty and sick when I think about it now. It certainly taught me a lesson about being bitchy!

Asking a Japanese friend if she celebrated VJ day.

place marking to read later (and will try to think of one of mine!)

HotPatootiebootie that really really made me laugh 😂

When I was about 12 I went on a French exchange with school, I arrived at my hosts parents house, the father held his hand out to shake mine, but I gave him my coat instead

Done lots of "lone you" to random people whilst working on the phone.
Took out a tampon instead of a lip balm in a meeting
Hugged someone miming something to me who definitely wasn't going for the hug.
Oh many dying on the spot instances

A few years ago we had friends over and our cat came down the stairs with what we thought was a toy in his mouth, he then drops in in front of our friends who say “aww he’s brought us his toy to play with”. I look at it thinking “That doesn’t look like one of his toys, it’s bright pink” then I realise what it actually is.

It’s a tiny pink butt plug I bought while I was in Japan while we were in the “experimental” phase of our relationship, that he’s taken out of our bedroom. I think our friends realised, but were polite and didn’t let on. I quickly grabbed the toy and hid it and decided the best course of action was to just not say anything and act like it didn’t happen

When, aged 17, my then-boyfriend indicated he wanted to give me some, errrr, tongue action. I hadn't showered that day, so I went into the family bathroom, stripped from the waist down & proceeded to have a wash. His mum burst in the bathroom as I had my foot up on the toilet & was having a good scrub Still makes me die!

A couple of weeks ago a kind lady discreetly informed me I had my skirt tucked in my tights. This was at the supermarket checkout, I'd done a full shop with nobody telling me!

Got into a car outside a pub when I was hammered as thought it was my boyfriend who’d come to meet me. Jumped in and as I did I rubbed my hand on his knee very high (not crotch but suggestively close to) and shouted “take me to Macdonald’s!” And then realised it wasn’t my boyfriend or his car. Had to get out and then got my handbag caught on the handbrake and it was horrendous

There was also the time my boyfriend’s mum was talking to him while we were having sex because she didn’t realise I was there. Again, I was a lot younger, and she had specifically said that I couldn’t stay over at their house that night. I can’t remember why, but we must have been at some kind of family party with his parents. Anyway, we came back a bit later and snuck into the house. We lay on the floor to have sex so that there wouldn’t be any squeaking of the bed with the idea that I’d leave early in the morning and they wouldn’t know I’d been there. Then his mum walked in to turn off the Christmas lights in the window, mid sex, and we just froze. She was surprised that he was there as she hadn’t heard him come in and just stood there talking to him in the dark. After a few minutes she started saying “what are you doing on the floor? Get up! Why are you on the floor? What are you doing? What’s wrong, why are you acting so strangely” and just relentlessly asking what he was doing. Then “what is that you’re lying on??”. I swear she was about to walk over and drag him off the ground so he finally had to admit that it was me. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the embarrassment of that one.

My first proper job working in PR and I was running a charity 5-a-side football tournament. I went to greet the main contact from the charity who I had met once and for some reason, went in for the full hug and kiss on the cheek. She recoiled slightly and turned her head so my cheek kiss ended up on her lips - I was so embarrassed although we did end up working together for a few years and that certainly broke the ice.

Sat on a bench after church chatting to the vicar, who was sat the other end. I could feel a fart brewing and was getting very uncomfortable with the pressure so thought I could sneak it out to ease things a little. It was very loud and echoed around the car park.....he didn't skip a beat with what he was saying and I managed to keep a straight face, just looking politely interested in what he was telling me.

I will never forget. I hope he does.

@Findmeonetsy
🤣🤣🤣

I sent my partner a sexy pic of just me in my knickers one morning.....full length shot....boobs out etc....after 10 mins i was wondering why he'd not replied so checked the message....I'd sent it to my whatsapp work group chat....i felt sick...sweaty etc and quickly unsent the message but pretty sure it was seen....thankfully due to being furloughed ive not seen any of them in person.

Snap, aqua, I couldn't look thepostie in the eye for ages, he also delivered to my workplace!!

[quote m00rfarm]@Findmeonetsy - that made me laugh out loud for the first time in months - thank you [/quote]
Me too!!!!