What’s the most mortifying situation you’ve ever found yourself in?

[RosieLemonade]

I was once round my MIL and FILs having Christmas drinks when MILs affair came out. It was excruciating. All the (adult) children were crying and I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. DH wouldn’t come home because he wanted to stay with his dad so I just keep making cups of tea and doing washing up! what’s been your most mortifying situation.

Oh I have a swimsuit one.
First week at uni, went to a water park, had to buy a swimsuit. Went down the slide, stood up all shaken and smiling only to find the shoulder strap had moved from over my shoulder to the middle of my chest revealing my tiny boob.

And a "it's not a period" one. Was at a conference with my 4 male colleagues and we'd gone for a walk after a long flight. I was wearing pale cropped trousers. When I got up from sitting on a wall my boss pointed out that I must have sat on some berries. The stain could not have been in a more unfortunate position.

Taking a bf home to visit my parents. Parents said one evening they were heading out in the morning to do some shopping, we heard the door shut as they headed out and started getting jiggy. I was very, very loud.

Afterwards I left my room to go to the bathroom only to bump into my dad who had decided not to go shopping after all, and stayed in bed, in the bedroom next to mine.

It was 20 years ago and I still go red when I think about it.

My dad came to my house when I was a teen and promptly left without knocking. My bedroom window had been open and I had been having loud sex.

Went on a business trip with my boss to meet some clients, was taken out for dinner with them, me and 6 men trying not to feel awkward. We were being show to our table, when I fell over in the kindle of rhe restaurant. My feet just went out from underneath me. Never been so embarrassed!

Another one, me and DH hadn't been together long, were at a family party and his MIL and FIL were leaving. She went in for a kiss on the cheek and I didn't notice and turned my head. We got a full kiss on the mouth.

Many many years ago I did some modelling. Grand finale on the catwalk, wearing a wedding dress with a full veil, the lights were so strong I couldn't see. Came to the end of the catwalk and carried on. Ended up ass over tit in the front row - trying to get up gracefully was pretty mortifying.

I'm rubbish with anaesthetics , had to go into hospital to have a tooth taken out as dentist couldn't do it. I was the first one in for a 2 min op, woke up hours later after everyone else and could hear the nurses talking about me saying they needed the bed soon . I stood up to leave promptly fell over, they then wouldn't let me leave unless my dh pushed me out in a wheelchair , all for a tooth.

@BlueHawaii

I once took my elderly dog to the vet panicking because I'd found what I thought was a lump until my vet looked at me, deadpan, and said "it's not a lump, it's her vulva" 😅he didn't charge me for the visit which was kind of him.

Either you're a client at my surgery, or you aren't the only one who has done this 😂😂😂

I had just started a new job in accounts and my boss was going through the spreadsheets with me, he was rocking on the back of his chair whilst talking, the chair tipped over completely, his legs went over his shoulders and his trousers split-mortifying we carried on with the training but i couldn't stop sniggering uncontrollably

[quote CovidCanFuckOffNow]@Findmeonetsy that is pure gold! Dying with laughter.

I walked up and hugged enthusiastically a friend id not seen for years- including a breast grab which was just stupid stuff we did to each other at that time. But if course it's was a frickin stranger who screamed. I died on the spot and couldn't explain myself as was so mortified. [/quote]
I have sort of done the same

In college me an my friends (who Im still friends with) where very open/touchy-feely use to do the boob grab greeting and then I started university and I struggled to 'fit in' but kind of made new friends who where nice but honestly quite posh, uptight and prudish.

I had been at uni a few months and barely seen college friend but we went out for a meet up and drink one lunch break and as I returned to uni without thinking I went to greet one of my new friends with a boob grab.

she jumped back and staired at me with a death like I had just pissed on her grandmas grave and I think all the colour drained from my face as I was pretty convinced she was prepping to punch me.

She just walked off though and it was awkward in leactures after that and they stopped talking to me, I'm pretty sure she told others I sexually assaulted her when honestly it was just a moment of mindlessness as I switched between friend groups.

I no longer greet anyone with a boob grab after that.

I was on the tube wearing a knee length box pleat skirt. On one of the very long up escalators out from the northern line the gentleman who was a few steps behind be bent down to fix something on his shoe. Unfortunately for him when he stood up he managed to stand up under my skirt.

I was howling with laughter he knew the other hand was absolutely mortified. I was young, had a good arse at the time and was wearing bum covering knickers. He was an old school city type. I don't think I've ever seen anyone so embarrassed before.

Once in a dark room at an event, sort of an escape house rather than just a room, I felt for a chair and grabbed another women's skirt, I'd never got out so quickly😳

I was in a work related club at university. It was half social, half serious. Well regarded, on my CV, for the transferable skills, although I didn't go into that career.... I trained as a teacher after graduating.
First job interview. Day before, a couple of the tabloids did an expose on the club I was in. It was mostly a work of fiction. First question I was asked was about my time in the club... About the transferable bits which would benefit the school. But I had seen one of the interviewers with a copy of the paper. So we all knew what had been said publically, but it wasñt mentioned.

@HotPatootiebootie

When I was about 20 I was a single mum, full time career for my nan, full time uni student and part time waitress. I needed a smear test and the nurse could only fit me in between dropping my kids at my mums and me going to work. It was the very start of the men's health hour but I didn't mind at all. Went into see the nurse and it was really uncomfortable after she removed the speculum. She said to wait in the waiting room for a prescription for my nan and so of I went. I sat in a waiting room with half a dozen men and it was filled with those horrid plastic chairs with the metal legs. The floor was tiled. I moved in my seat as my uniform was digging in me and I let go the longest, most elephant sounding Fanny fart ever. It shuddered down the chair leg and I swear I felt it spread out along the floor. I went day glo red. A man guffawed at me and every body looked at the corners of the room while I scrambled to find cover. I picked up a leaflet from the table and hid behind it. Another person laughed in a "omg" manner and then an older man tentatively asked me if I was ok.

Id picked up a Leaflet about sexually transmitted diseases 😬😱.

It was a very long few minutes waiting for that prescription.

Omg, I’m absolutely crying at this! Thanks for making my morning! 😂

@Findmeonetsy, @CrocodilesCry and @Northernsoullover you all had me actually lolling

Any cry for classics yet?

My most mortifying experience was when I was about 17 and starting a new job. I didn’t quite hold the door open properly for someone behind me and for some reason, found myself apologising in french and saying “pardon”, complete with crap french accent.

The woman then turned out to be my new sort of line manager so then I ended up making up a story about my mum being french (WHY) and that we spent most of our summers in the south of France (AGAIN WHY). It was just a summer job but I had to lie the whole time about my entire heritage and summer plans.

@HotPatootiebootie
Definitely made our days, i'm creasing😂

I'll post this one as it is quite mortifying.

I was 20 and best friends with a Vietnamese/Chinese girl from college, I used to go round to her flat and her boyfriend's flat all the time after college.

One day I was sat in the boyfriend's flat who lived with his elderly grandmother, when my friend said she had to go out but it was fine if I stayed there and waited for her - it was cold, snow outside so I was more than happy to stay in and have cups of tea and watch TV. The boyfriend was at work and the grandmother knew me by sight and to say 'hello' to but her English was very bad generally. After a while the grandmother came into the living room where I was, she obviously hadn't been told of the situation and came in and out of the living room a few times before getting her coat on and going out (yes in the snow!). Unfortunately I realised after about half an hour that she'd locked me in the flat - god only knows why - and I couldn't even open the windows to climb out - was on first floor so could've done this - this was before mobile phones but luckily there was a landline and I rang my mum who I was living with and she eventually came to get me but I had to ring my friend who was in her own flat nearby. Luckily someone managed to get hold of a spare set of keys and I got out and my friend was angry with her boyfriend's grandmother asking her why she'd locked me in the flat?! No answer as far as I can recall to that!

The above was certainly mortifying to me and for a good few hours when I was trapped there alone I didn't think I'd get out - but luckily there was lots of tea, milk etc in the flat and a TV.

The sad thing was a few years later the grandmother was knocked over by a car in the main road and sadly died.

HotPatootiebootie

When I was about 20 I was a single mum, full time career for my nan, full time uni student and part time waitress. I needed a smear test and the nurse could only fit me in between dropping my kids at my mums and me going to work. It was the very start of the men's health hour but I didn't mind at all. Went into see the nurse and it was really uncomfortable after she removed the speculum. She said to wait in the waiting room for a prescription for my nan and so of I went. I sat in a waiting room with half a dozen men and it was filled with those horrid plastic chairs with the metal legs. The floor was tiled. I moved in my seat as my uniform was digging in me and I let go the longest, most elephant sounding Fanny fart ever. It shuddered down the chair leg and I swear I felt it spread out along the floor. I went day glo red. A man guffawed at me and every body looked at the corners of the room while I scrambled to find cover. I picked up a leaflet from the table and hid behind it. Another person laughed in a "omg" manner and then an older man tentatively asked me if I was ok.

Id picked up a Leaflet about sexually transmitted diseases 😬😱.

It was a very long few minutes waiting for that prescription.

LITERALLY DEAD ! elephant sounding!!!!

There's been a mortifying situation I'm sure but can't quite remember how it went, I don't really do this now but when I was dating someone we used to send each other naked selfies - of body parts etc - well I was out with a friend and showing her photos of a holiday - we were at a bar and were both quite drunk - she suddenly gasps and shrieks with laughter and I realise what she's seen and grab the phone back off her.

Her to me 'I didn't see much but what I did see I need brain bleach for!' You're not wrong there! Luckily she's quite a close friend.

I did a Shart. Stomach had been fine that morning.
Luckily it was at my Mum's & I could borrow some clothes - I binned my jeans & knickers - just didn't want to see them again...

A few weeks back, my DP had been away for a few days so I thought I would 'surprise' him for when he got home. I had set the scene in the bedroom, emptied my bedside draw on the bed, sexy outfit on, literally pulled out all the stops. I decided to take a pic to tease him a little and get him to hurry up. The pic included me in a very seductive pose with a very racy number on, holding a toy. However, I didnt't send it to him, I sent it to my mother! I only realised when she replied. 'I hope you have a great night' I avoided her calls for at least a few days!!

@hellhavenofury

A few weeks back, my DP had been away for a few days so I thought I would 'surprise' him for when he got home. I had set the scene in the bedroom, emptied my bedside draw on the bed, sexy outfit on, literally pulled out all the stops. I decided to take a pic to tease him a little and get him to hurry up. The pic included me in a very seductive pose with a very racy number on, holding a toy. However, I didnt't send it to him, I sent it to my mother! I only realised when she replied. 'I hope you have a great night' I avoided her calls for at least a few days!!

Wow! Your mum is an absolute master at diplomacy!

I wish I could be that cool in similar situations.
I'm just an awkward div, mostly.

@Ameanstreakamilewide I am sure she had a laugh and told everyone at work about it! When I finally answered her call a few days later, she got so much enjoyment out of asking if my DP 'got home OK'. She wont let me live it down thats for sure!!

I was getting on the train one busy Saturday afternoon - my shoe fell off! The elderly lady behind me made a huge song and dance and went to get the guard, he got a large pole and retrieved my shoe from the track and presented it to me - everyone cheered and clapped - I died a bit that day. I was still bright red when the train got into London.

Omg too many to mention but here goes.
When exh and I first got together 20 odd years ago we were early 20s he a virgin me far from one lol.
As he was doing me from behind he slapped my arde so hard and said let me fuck you like dirty slut . I almost pissed myself laughing then thought I would lay on my front all sexy and did a massive fanny fart to which he looked absolutely aghast and said urgh was that your fanny .
Mortified.

I also text my friend I will ring you later ,to which she replied no you fuckin wont .
I re read the txt and it said I will rim you later lol

I had to go into hospital for an operation aged 13. I was called out to the corridor to take a phone call from a parent (before mobiles!) and didn't realise until a kind lady discreetly told me that I was wearing one of those awful hospital gowns and had been standing there in the corridor with my arse hanging out, big polka-dot knickers on show. I was incredibly body-conscious at the time and just about died of shame. I have no idea how I didn't realise the gown didn't close at the back, but I'd been very nauseous after anaesthesia so I'm blaming that for the brain fog.

Not long ago I got my skirt caught in an escalator in a Tube station. Had to push the emergency stop button, and everyone going past stared at me ineffectually trying to extricate myself. In the end I had to give it a mighty tug and rip the skirt. I comforted myself with the fact that it could have been worse - the skirt didn't fall down, and because of Covid the station was much quieter than usual, so I only had a small audience.