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Original poster

What’s the most mortifying situation you’ve ever found yourself in?

427 replies

RosieLemonade · 06/10/2020 19:00

I was once round my MIL and FILs having Christmas drinks when MILs affair came out. It was excruciating. All the (adult) children were crying and I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. DH wouldn’t come home because he wanted to stay with his dad so I just keep making cups of tea and doing washing up! what’s been your most mortifying situation.

OP posts:
Marmunia1975 · 10/10/2020 03:12

I dropped a tampon on the boss‘a foot years ago while making my way to the toilet during a meeting. I picked it up and slid it in again but it fell out yet again, hitting his foot and rolling along the floor. Turned out there was a hole in my pocket. It was one of the orange rustling paper clad Tampax.

MahMahMahMahCorona · 10/10/2020 04:47

@Findmeonetsy - Reminded me when I was at the dentist, he had his finger in my mouth, shouted suction to the assistant. For some reason thought it was aimed at me, and I sucked his finger

Just lol at this and had to pretend it was a mini snore so as not to wake OH 🤣🤣🤣

HartnellAvenue · 10/10/2020 05:31

@ladyloungealot If yours was self aware enough to get pissed off, then I doubt it! My one would have just been very confused about where I was going had I done that - he isn't the brightest spark!

Rockmehardplace · 10/10/2020 05:40

@NoddyMcPintsAlot and @Pyewhacket literally crying at these!!

FairFriday · 10/10/2020 08:19

@Marmunia1975

I dropped a tampon on the boss‘a foot years ago while making my way to the toilet during a meeting. I picked it up and slid it in again but it fell out yet again, hitting his foot and rolling along the floor. Turned out there was a hole in my pocket. It was one of the orange rustling paper clad Tampax.
Well it was a new one in a pack (I hope)?
Clawdy · 10/10/2020 08:33

These are hilarious! Especially the high-fiving the boss, and the sucking the dentist's finger.

MsTSwift · 10/10/2020 08:40

I had a mortifying parents evening session dd1 is very good academic and well liked by teachers all meetings effusive. Inadvertently booked to see music teacher. Dd warned me that “mr x hates me”. I thought this couldn’t be true. In we went - he launched into a mad diatribe about Dd1s failings most of which related to other children and were funny so I thought he was joking and started laughing along. Steely glare “this is not funny”. Mortifying. Had to concede to dd1 afterwards yes he does hate you darling and me too now!

sar302 · 10/10/2020 09:08

Trying to have some sneaky sex in my boyfriends bedroom as a fairly inexperienced 6th former. We somehow managed to bash heads. Came away laughing, but then realised we'd somehow managed to take a massive chip out of one of his front teeth.

It was nothing a dentist couldn't fix, except it was the day before his university interview at Imperial. His mum actually cried when she saw it, while his dad angrily demanded to know how it had happened. We made up a story about both reaching for the tv remote at the same time, which they obviously didn't believe. His mum told me to leave, so that they could try and find an emergency dentist Blush

Scarby9 · 10/10/2020 09:31

In my late 20s, after ten years of not meeting anyone I had even remotely considered, I met a man who was definitely a possibility for a relationship.

He offered to help put up some shelves, bought the wood and turned up with his drill, saw etc. I acted as carpenter's mate and slowly relaxed through the day as we measured, cut and sanded.

When the shelving was finished we stood back to admire and he said it just needed the sawdust hoovering up then he would move the heavy furniture back. I told him that sadly my Hoover had stopped working a fortnight before and he offered to fix it.
I brought it through to him and then went to the kitchen to make us a coffee and sandwich.

He was chatting away about there being a blockage in the tube. I walked back into the room just as he finally freed the blockage and pulled out,,, a pair of knickers.

We both went red, couldn't think what to say, and I still go hot inside thinking about it.

Belleende · 10/10/2020 09:57

In my younger days I did a bit of rowing, usually in bigger boats, but one weekend decided to have a go in a single skull, which is basically a pencil on water. I had been out on the water a while but wouldn't figure out how to get back to the bank and out of the boat without toppling myself in.

A male rower, clad in the usual lycra all in one, offered to help me into the bank, and he stood on one of the oars whilst I got my self out.

The shoes are attached to the boat, I manged to get one foot out OK, but the other got stuck, and I lurched head first into rower guys crotch at the precise time a women's 8 came past, who stopped to spectate.

The worst thing was, I was stuck. One foot in the boat, my head in this dudes crotch, and he couldnt move or I would fall in. It took me a few excruciating minutes of yanking my foot, head still in crotch to free myself. Rower dude just pretended that it wasn't happening.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 10/10/2020 10:20

Several years ago, DD2 was a toddler, and DD1 in Reception class. I had to go to meeting with the SENCO, and had no choice but to take DD2. DD2 was a very angelic looking toddler, and small for her age.
After a 30minute meeting, the SENCO complimented DD2 on sitting so quietly and drawing the whole time... And asked DD2 what she had been drawing. DD2 launched into an in depth description of her drawing of the family... Finishing with 'and that's Daddy's Big Fat Bottom!'. The SENCOs face was split between shock and amusement.
All meetings were carefully scheduled by the school after that... DD2 started in the preschool class soon after so they would put them I the mornings.

bellmyring · 10/10/2020 10:37

Like most people, I've had a few. This is a fairly recent one and directly relates to MN forums!

At the start of the year I offered to help out an old friend moving to the area as she unpacks, gets set up in new area, etc. She has 6 months in a furnished studio (hi tech job perks!) in a nice appt complex. I go to meet her there, but she's not there, delayed a few hours, but I'm let in by manager and pass time browsing MN. On feminism board, I read a discussion about a a porn star Mia Khalifa ( donlt know any of these porn stars), but it's an interesting read. My phone dies, and no re-charger.

That's a nice TV? Is it connected to WiFi? Does it have a browser? YES!

Using the TV I continue on searching and reading about Mia Khalifa. Some interesting interviews with her on YouTube, being more curious obviously I take a look at some of the porn videos, etc. She is a beautiful , smart, articulate young woman, she has been exploited, how did she end in that industry! (some of the porn was hot!)

Anyway, I get bored turn off the TV, friend arrives shortly. Later it turns out that my Mia Khalifa browsing history is saved, and that's been used by the tv for bookmarks, recommendations, etc. Blush

Cosmos45 · 10/10/2020 10:37

@CrocodilesCry

I was witness to one.

DP enthusiastically greeted a close female friend he hadn't seen for a while (who I hadn't met before).

They were chatting away and he leaned forward and said "And you're expecting!" and gently rubbed her tummy.

Except she wasn't expecting.

And he wasn't rubbing her tummy.

He was rubbing the bottom of one of her very large (braless) breasts.

He goes scarlet when I mention it Blush

I am absolutely hysterical at this one...
TheHighestSardine · 10/10/2020 10:53

@Marmunia1975

I dropped a tampon on the boss‘a foot years ago while making my way to the toilet during a meeting. I picked it up and slid it in again but it fell out yet again, hitting his foot and rolling along the floor. Turned out there was a hole in my pocket. It was one of the orange rustling paper clad Tampax.
When you say "slid it in again"...
60sbird · 10/10/2020 11:41

My partner and I were in holiday with our then 12 year old who we thought was asleep in the next room, we were fooling about a bit drunkenly when he came and said “I don’t know what you think your doing but I’m trying to sleep,” years later he blurted out in the car that it was when he saw mum doing fellatio on dad that he stopped kissing me on the lips, I think I died a little that day and yes he did say fellatio

Chottie · 10/10/2020 12:01

This is hysterical :)

Chottie · 10/10/2020 12:02

@Chottie

This is hysterical :)
I was referring to Belleende
angelcakebananabrain · 10/10/2020 12:35

@Marmunia1975

I dropped a tampon on the boss‘a foot years ago while making my way to the toilet during a meeting. I picked it up and slid it in again but it fell out yet again, hitting his foot and rolling along the floor. Turned out there was a hole in my pocket. It was one of the orange rustling paper clad Tampax.
Was concerned about where you slid it till I got to the bit about your pocket
Papergirl1968 · 10/10/2020 14:30

I had exactly the same thought about where exactly that tampon was being slid.
Thank goodness she then referred to her pocket! Grin

Kolsch · 10/10/2020 15:11

My son had just started school. A few days later I was walking down the road near the school and in the distance I saw a woman walking away from the school, holding my son's hand.
I set off running and caught up with them. I was trying to wrestle the little boy from her while demanding to know what did she think she was doing with my son.
It was only when I finally looked properly, that I realised the little boy wasn't actually my son at all, he just looked similar from behind in the distance.
I just mumbled I was sorry before legging it.
How that poor woman didn't punch me, i have no idea.

My second most embarrassing one was when I knocked over a policeman and his police dog with my car.
Fortunately neither was badly hurt, but the image of that policeman's face squashed up on my window screen will stay with me forever.

CottonHeadedNinyMuggins · 10/10/2020 15:44

20 years old and working for a community center in their playground.

I had - and still have - a very childish sense of humour and the weekend before I'd watched, alongside my friend, a programme that featured The Dildo Song ( ) . Since then we'd been quoting it to each other as and when.

So leaving my house and on my way to work I texted it to my friend Amy when my blood suddenly ran cold a few moments later.

I'd sent it to Alun, my bosses husband and the minister of the church across from the community center.

Blush Blush

Papergirl1968 · 10/10/2020 18:36

Kolsch! Shock Did you get into trouble for running over the policeman and police dog?

Kolsch · 10/10/2020 18:42

@papergirl1968 No, it was his fault, he stepped into the road from behind his van without looking, which he admitted.
I still cringe with embarrassment, even though it wasn't my fault.

Papergirl1968 · 10/10/2020 18:46

At least that’s something. Otherwise you’d have been embarrassed and in court! Not to mention the press!

Kolsch · 10/10/2020 19:04

@papergirl1968 They were my immediate thoughts, along with being sent to prison forever 😳