What’s the most mortifying situation you’ve ever found yourself in?

[RosieLemonade]

I was once round my MIL and FILs having Christmas drinks when MILs affair came out. It was excruciating. All the (adult) children were crying and I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. DH wouldn’t come home because he wanted to stay with his dad so I just keep making cups of tea and doing washing up! what’s been your most mortifying situation.

[quote Scarby9]@BlueHawaii I had similar but with a male hamster that had a terrible swelling. He used to sit up, kind of pull his tail through to the front and look at it.

In the vet's waiting room, he was sitting in my hand, frozen (which he used to do if he was scared - think all the other animals and smells unsettled him) and other pet owners asked what was wrong with him. When I showed them they were all very concerned.

I'm not sure if mortified is the exact term for how I felt when I had to come back through the waiting room after seeing the vet. I told them what he had said:

'Male hamsters tend to be very well endowed for their size. Yours could win prizes'.[/quote]
This is really common. I used to show and judge hamsters, and members of the public would wander in to the shows to have a look. Numerous times people would come up to me to tell me that there was something wrong with one of the hamsters “it seems to have a tumour or something”. It was always testicles.

I asked DP to photo the crowning stage of birth - my only chance to see it. Forgot it was on my phone a few hours later and accidently sent it, together with a more normal photo of my newborn, to a very good friend. I apologised but she was apparently thrilled with it! It could have been worse, I messaged another friend immediately after - I know nothing would have been said but he's a retired headmaster so if have been even more mortified if he'd got that photo instead!

I recounted this story to another friend a few days later who asked if she could see the photo. I passed her my phone and what did she do? Zoomed on for a better look! 🤣 She was rather mortified when I pointed out she'd naively Zoomed in on a photo of my vulva! 🤣😂🤷🏼‍♀️

@OneFiveFour

Some years back I was looking around houses to rent. I do have a tendancy to get a bit carried away and so found I had booked to view a 5 bed house in an area I really wanted, but I was planning on living there alone.

As I started to view it, with the agent, I became aware just how daft such a big house would be, just for me. So, when the agent asked me "how many children do you have?" I felt like I would seem stupid to say tell the truth - none and it was just me.

My little brain thought quickly... 'no problem, just lie a bit'. What my little brain could NOT do, however, was very quickly work out how many children would make such a house a reasonable option.

"Ur, four or five" came my answer.

The agent looked at me like I was either mad or the worst mother she'd come across.

We did not speak again after that.

Love this, it reminds me of something similar that I did some years ago. I was a bit skint so I’d signed up to do mystery shopping and I was given one assignment to make enquiries about a holiday in a travel agency. Didn’t actually read the brief until the morning of my visit, at which point I realised I was meant to ask about a family cruise for two adults and two children. Well I didn’t have any children, so I had to wing it. The agent kept asking me about my kids, their ages, what they liked to do. I suddenly had an eight year old called Amelia and a ten year old called Joseph 😬 Then she asked when half term was so she could check availability. I tried not to look too blank. It was so awful that I almost booked the cruise just to get out of there.

@HavelockVetinari I think your Liam Gallagher story is my favourite so far, I’m just imagining how bemused he must have been 😂

@Findmeonetsy

Laughing my head off at high 5-info your boss! Reminded me when I was at the dentist, he had his finger in my mouth, shouted suction to the assistant. For some reason thought it was aimed at me, and I sucked his finger

Howling at this 😂

DS11 walked in to the kitchen blushing furiously this morning. He took the post from the mailman who thanked DS as he turned and walked down the path. Inexplicably DS called out "Love you!"

About 5 years ago, I had a job interview for somewhere I was desperate to work. Was so nervous as I really wanted it. Thought I did well at the interview. At the end, all four interviewers stood up to shake my hand, fine until I got to the last one who was sat in an awkward position. Grabbed her hand like we were holding hands, instead of apologizing and offering her my other hand I proceeded to skip on the spot whilst still holding her hand and swinging them

@Northernsoullover

I've told this story before on here under an old user name. When my youngest was around 5 months old he was really unwell so duly trotted off to the GP. I had the baby on my lap as I was talking to the GP and he wanted to look in his throat. He said 'right if you could put one hand on his head and the other on his stomach so I can have a look in his mouth'. I took him at his word and took one of my baby's teeny tiny hands and placed it on his head and the other teeny hand on his stomach. I sort of posed him. The GP looked at me and said 'No Northern, YOUR hands' and looked at me like I had a screw loose. That GP always spoke really slowly to me after that as if I didn't have control of my faculties...

Northernsoullover

There are three of us sat here on my sofa proper crying with laughter!!!!!

I was on a moving and handling training day. Part of this was learning to roll a patient in a bed. The person teaching the class was a young, pretty fit guy. I got chosen to be the "patient" and he and another person doing the class rolled me over in the bed. I had my arms crossed across my chest and as I rolled to face the guy, my hand landed directly on top of his trousers, literally cupping his penis/balls. I became aware of this as he just reached down and moved my hand away. Fucking mortified.

I was running late for a gym class once- when I got to the studio I could they'd already started so I just opened the door and joined in the group of five or so lads running around the room. All fine and I was chuffed with myself for actually going instead of staying in bed when one of the group said, 'Um, you're more than welcome to stay but this isn't actually a class... we're just mates working out together!'

It's making my teeth hurt just writing it down!

Not my own experience but DH'S.
He had been working from home during lockdown (he is a lecturer at a university), he takes his Zoom meetings in his office. I dont use Zoom but apparently if you make the slightest sound
it highlights your screen. On this particular day DD age 6 was in there whilst he did his Zoom call, and she let out the loudest, longest fart ever...... in DH'S words, "it just wouldn't stop coming". My husband was absolutely mortified and tried to pretend nothing had happened.
He told me that when he looked over at her she had the most smug, wickedest grin ever across her face.

@MsKeats - OMG. This happened to me too. I had the anaesthetic and went absolutely bananas and smashed up everything within reach apparently. Woke up with bars up around the bed and some kind of strapping to hold me down. Rock n roll!

@WildForTheNight That’s priceless. Sorry but I’m openly laughing at your expense there.

Another one at the dentist.
I was having a filling done, and after the dentist put the protective glasses and bib on me I pointed to my mouth and said 'Okay, now get in there and do your worst!'.

Shamelessly book marking to read later

During labour I was almost off my head with some sort of painkiller and they decided it was time to administer an epidural. We had to wait for the doctor to arrive and he spoke to me in a very strong South African accent. I turned to OH and asked, "Is he black?" - not my finest hour

When getting my back sorted out by an osteopath I ended up on my front looking "through" the table. First time I'd ever been in that situation.

Me "I feel like I'm being born"

Osteopath.................."First time I've heard that in my 40 years of practice"

When I was 13 I had braces so obviously I had to go to the orthodontist every couple of months to get them tightened etc.
One time, at an appointment he told me to lie back on the chair. He was by my side on a low wheely chair himself. Well for some reason when I lay back, I didn't lie straight back on the chair, I somehow curved myself to the side, resting my head on his knees. I had no idea so just sat there completely normally. Until a few seconds later he said in a super serious tone "the chair please, not my lap". He didn't laugh or anything.
By the time the appointment was over my mum's lip was bleeding as she had to bite it so hard to keep from laughing.
The next time I went back he had transferred me to a female orthodontist and I never seen him again

Invited to a 50th birthday party, lovely buffet but I didn't like any of the desserts.
Noticed on the side lots of cupcakes, I took 3(I know I'm greedy). Didn't have my glasses on
but noticed a small pattern in the icing.
Birthday girl starts making a speech thanking everyone for coming but especially to her best
making all these cakes with her name spelt out, she then looks down and instead of it saying
'Happy 50th birthday Linda xx' it actually said 'Happ 50t birthday Lin a xx'.
Turned and saw the wrappers in front of my plate. Oops

These are brilliant! I am crying at you putting your head in the orthodontists lap Princess!

I have a few

I had my ex DP's entire friendship group walk in on us hard at it in the middle of the day. They saw absolutely everything as we were completely naked and in a very exposing position. We stopped immediately and they all walked away and was like so sorry, we was mortified but managed to laugh it off with them when we finally decided to emerge from the room.

I was once sat in my living room in my short dressing gown (just wearing underwear underneath) as a teenager with my friend and my parents and felt a fart brewing, I let it out hoping it wouldn't smell but felt like I needed the toilet after. When I got up and began to walk to the toilet it became apparent that I had unexpectedly followed through as there was poo on my sock and down my leg, I turned around and saw there was a bit of poo on the sofa next to my friend. I freaked out as this had never happened before and I shouted for my mom and told her what had happened being the great mom she is, she went and cleaned it with a wipe blaming it on the dogs having muddy paws. My friend never mentioned it luckily!

When I was still living at home I once fell asleep in my room and didn't realise my sisters DP had come round so thought my sister was the only one home. I went into my sisters room to speak to her, I was still half asleep and her DP was sat on her bed with his penis out in the middle of having a wank. The worst part was we made full eye contact and I froze and he tried to hide his penis and I just walked out and went back to my room. Turns out my sister had nipped to the shop. It's never been mentioned

The most mortifying one for me was sending my dad a naked picture by accident that was meant for my DP and not realizing, then getting a phone call from my mom saying my phone is sending weird pictures and then me realising what had happened. I have never felt so panicked and mortified in my life it was honestly the worst feeling ever knowing they'd seen that photo

I was desparate for a wee, so I stopped at my daughters house, let myself in and rushed to the loo. I yanked my pants down, sat down and let out a big Ahhhhhh. As the wee went on, I slowly turned my head to the left, where my daughters boyfriend was standing naked in the large shower just about to turn it on. I couldn't stop by then and all I could do was say, "Looks like rain today"

Mort - i - fied

Not read full thread yet, but here’s my top 5!
Age 14 Running to answer front door whilst pulling up knickers after using the loo expecting it to be friend....... it was my brothers hunky friend that I had a major crush on. Couldn’t look him in the eye again.
Wearing a beautiful dress to nightclub felt sexy as hell had a lot of attention friend turns up and tells me that its totally see through under nightclub lights.
First baby just been born. Husband disappears , legs go up in stirrups ready for stitches!!! In comes my husband with his family I HAD EVERYTHING OUT!
Last baby got to hospital so far along I was put straight onto a bed and pushed past the hospital cafe on the way to delivery suite. I was screaming my head off this babies coming!!! legs spread wide open I came eye to eye with some poor man sitting quietly just eating his chocolate muffin! I doubt he’ll ever eat one again.
The other week Delivery guy brought my takeaway he was admiring my kitten. I swooped up kitten but caught my T-shirt’s with it so gave him the full flash. Gutted it was my favourite Chinese ☹️
I am a bit of a klutz

@HelpOrHindrance

I was desparate for a wee, so I stopped at my daughters house, let myself in and rushed to the loo. I yanked my pants down, sat down and let out a big Ahhhhhh. As the wee went on, I slowly turned my head to the left, where my daughters boyfriend was standing naked in the large shower just about to turn it on. I couldn't stop by then and all I could do was say, "Looks like rain today"

Mort - i - fied

Oh. My. God.

That's made me crease up 😂

"Looks like rain today"

Best line ever!

Omg I have woken the house up with my laughing.
After having my daughter the midwife puts my legs in stirrups ready for a few stitches, in walks this mountain of a male doctor (I for some reason was expecting a female) I stupidly say "well I don't say good morning to everyone like this"

Last year I had an MRI and the very handsome looking man put a foam wedge under my bum to make me more comfortable after it was all over her went to remove the wedge but I decide to fling my legs up in the air to make this easier, as he bent down the biggest smelliest fart ever left my soul. I was mortified.

My eldest son had to go for a medical procedure and have sedation, I was there to do my job and comfort him and drive him home (he is 30) anyway I'm chatting to the doctor after it was done to make sure I knew about the aftercare when my son pipes up that he hates fanny he then goes on to say that my fanny is ok as he can't remember being there but it's put him off fanny for life , he goes into a rant as to why he hates it, I explain to the doctor that he is gay and that I didn't abuse him as a child, my son then goes on about me constantly abusing him, I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. The apparent abuse was that I didn't buy him a little mermaid doll.