Which sentence did you say today that you'd never have said a month ago?

[Bluewavescrashing]

Me- 'Wash your hands, you've just touched the post!'

A sentence I never thought I would hear at 3am “Mum I can’t sleep, is it ok if I just do tomorrow’s school work now”
A sentence I never thought I would say at 3am “I don’t care if you play fortnite all night just don’t eat all the crisps and keep it down”
We are struggling to sleep in this house.

Brother on phone: "Do you have hand sanitizer? I can drive over with a bottle."

Me: "Thanks, but that's not allowed. Hopefully I can see you in May, even if you have to stay in the car outside."

I love the milkmanp

I am just washing the shopping

'I'll take the kids for a drive'

"I'm happy"

I'm an introvert with social anxiety and agoraphobia. Because of this we have turned our house into a place we really enjoy spending time in, because I really struggle to go out. For me this is the first time I've felt relaxed in a long while. Noone has left the house for any reason for 8 days. (We are lucky in that we have an indoor swimming pool and treadmill.) My husband (who we don't see much of due to work hours) is working from home to the delight of DS. We have time to talk, laugh, cook together and beyond the basics I'm not worried about school work. We will never again have this chance as a family to be together in this way. I am loving it.

"My main form of social interaction has become hanging out with 11 year olds online"

(I'm a teacher doing remote learning before anyone calls the police!)

"Kids, quick, go to the window, Zoe's walking past, you can give her a wave!" Most exciting part of the day!

"Granny's going to Skype in a minute". My mum is a complete technophobe.

"I can't believe they haven't spaced out EastEnders. Monday and Tuesday is ridiculous, it's over so quickly and then we have to wait nearly a week".

"Ooo, I wonder what Gove will have to say today".

I've signed us back up for Netflix
I know the emergency wine box is pish but it was all they had

We had a delivery today and when the door knocked we all assembled at the end of the corridor to see from a distance who it was. It's the most exciting thing that's happened for at least a week.

Sounds like you live in a Marian Keyes novel!

"Someone pointed out today that it's illegal for me to have sex, and it sounded really weird when they put it like that"

To DH coming back in from taking the bin out “Have you done the door handle?” (As in disinfected.)

To my friend on FaceTime “We got all that fruit and veg for £12.50,” (got a big box delivered) and then “Yeah it’s great they just phone and say it’s outside, we just left it in the garage for a couple of days to let the germs die.”

Also on Sunday watching Songs of Praise “When do you think we will see so many people together like that again?” :(

Put your gloves in the bin, wash your hands, don't touch your face. You need clean gloves

😱

This bug is actually turning me into a mental wreck

"If the police stop you and ask why you're driving DS home this late, you could say it's because he hasn't adjusted to BST yet."

(to exH after we handed over later in the evening than intended).

Doorball rings

We stare at each other and say
"Whos that"

I then edge slowly towards the door and try to figure out who it is, without them seeing me ....

(Turns out it was a delivery and they left it on doorstep)
We have isolation stickers on the doors, saying, knock and step back 2 meters from the door. Leave parcels etc

I only saw 3 people with masks on.

My five year old school refuser; "mummy, I want to go to school".

I've left the back gate open for you, strip down to your boxers and I'll open the back door for you...

I told the dog to fuck off. It's turning me into a short tempered witch.

Edit: it's turning me into even MORE of a short tempered witch.

In my hearings today, when I was concluding, I told both parties to stay safe and healthy.

"We're stranded in the outback!"

'Yes darling, I will play Mario Kart with you'

Yaayy am so glad I am working today !!

Please wear a mask and gloves and use hand sanitiser - said to a pest control person before he came into the house.

Yes yes to

Leave the non perishables in the garage for 2 days so the germs die...