It’s a parking one!

[OhCaptain]

Get on fine with house next door. Kids play etc.

About a year ago, her sister started coming to visit every single day. Weekends too. Fine. None of my business.

So we both have double drives and both have two cars. DH also has a motorbike but there’s space to keep it on our drive.

I work from home so I’m out to drop the dc to school then pretty much back for the whole morning. DH is gone in his car from maybe 7am. Motorbike stays on drive until weekends really.

So next door’s sister has a big 7-seater. But she’s taken to partially blocking our drive with it so next door’s car can get in and out.

So she parks up in the morning, partially blocks my drive. And then sometimes they’ll head out in next door’s car and my drive will be blocked.

I can (with ball-achey manoeuvring) get my car on. But if anyone was to visit, or DH was to come home, they couldn’t park on the drive. And they can’t park in front of my house without then blocking other next door’s.

It gives me the fucking rage! It’s so inconsiderate! I’ve said it to next door’s and her answer has been to knock in if I ever need her to move.

DH is so laid back he’s horizontal so he doesn’t see it as a big deal. But it’s just so selfish and irritating.

I’ve come back and parked up right behind her, as in touching the bumper, so I haven’t blocked other next door’s.

WIBU to roll the motorbike out and block her car?? If I put it sideways it won’t block the drive I don’t think.

I hope I’m explaining properly. I need to try to figure out how to post a diagram!

@BrightYellowDaffodil sister Mary fun sponge had me in stitches!!

@CarolHasAnotherUTI absolutely cracking username!!!

@OhCaptain best thread in a very long time!!! Go on Garda Olaf!

@ohcaptain you need to start another thread and post a link in here!
Nearly full on this one!

Am giggling away to myself, reading this whilst also watching Derry Girls (which, to be fair, has had me guffawing away too).

Loving that the Bull appears to be currently tamed -- but keep it up with Sgt Olaf and Garda Dino!

(Why is Connaught now spelt Connacht? Yes I know I could google but y'know...)

I thought English people spelt it Connaught! Is that not right?

I’m not sure about a lot of things anymore to be honest.

I was trying for hours to come up with lyrics to the tune of The Battle Hymn of The Republic which seemed fitting.

But not much rhymes with Olaf and there’s a disappointing lack of words that flow beautifully with penis.

Willy, however, opened up a lot of options. Plus you’ve got the maturity and sophistication factor that could really take it over the edge!

I am late though so can’t give it the time it deserves!

Bins are in place. Sadly fortless.

Won't lie, I don't want this to end...

Thank you @strongteawith2sugars - I think that thread was deleted so it probably won't be long before it's all forgotten!

there’s a disappointing lack of words that flow beautifully with penis

There, there.

I thought English people spelt it Connaught! Is that not right?

@OhCaptain, you are right I think. Connaught is the name of the province as Bearla and Connacht as Gaelige. That’s what I’ve always been taught.

Hence Cromwell and his ‘to hell or to Connaught’ ideas.

My teeth curl when I hear people pronouncing it "Conn-nought"

Ah right - one's Gaelic and one's the anglicised version - makes sense now, sorry.

Seen 'is rhymes with penis, by the way. And other things that rhyme with seen could be shoehorned in there, maybe. Green, for e.g.

Seen 'is rhymes with penis, by the way. And other things that rhyme with seen could be shoehorned in there, maybe. Green, for e.g.

Exactly, ThumbWitchesAbroad.

I've been considering Noel Coward's "Mad Dogs and Englishmen".

For his:

"Because the sun is far too sultry
And one must avoid its ultry-
Violet rays"

OhCaptain could substitute (to the same tune):

"Because the Bull is very mean
It's* made me very keen
To thwart her ways"

More of an assonance (sp?) than a true rhyme, but NC, Cole Porter and Tom Lehrer used them to great effect

OhCaptain - please take this as a huge compliment. I adore the works of the above-named.

Laughing so hard at this

Because the Bull is very mean
It's made me very keen
To thwart her ways

Post in haste, repent at thingummy.

To make it scan this time :

Because the Bull is horr-i-bully mean
It's made me very keen
To thwart her ways

My teeth curl when I hear people pronouncing it "Conn-nought"
I'm going to blame my mother on that one as she taught me that pronunciation. She's from there as well. I genuinely had no idea until I saw this and googled the pronunciation 😳 cheers mum

Please start a new thread if Bull gets up to her old tricks again, this one is almost full 😱

@OhLookHeKickedTheBall - I was watching a youtube clip of Saoirse Ronan saying she pronounces her name to rhyme with inertia, and has been told by other Irish people that she's pronouncing her own name wrong, so I wouldn't fret too much!

How about "between us" to kinda rhyme with "penis"?

Don't let a penis
Come between us
OhCaptain can handle herself
She doesn't need a man's help

It almost rhymes

Roses are red
A hi-viz is yellow
Sgt Olaf is no doubt
A very fine fellow

He barricades driveways
With his penis cucumber
When it comes to the Bull
He’s got her number

It took Garda Dino
And a rather wet fort
And a wee Problem-solving
Penis to sort

The driveway is clear
But the cucumbers are well stocked
In case Bull tries her crime spree
In the Arse End of Connacht

Bravo OhCaptain bravo 👏👏👏👏👏

I bow to you OP. You are a true legend

Don't let this be the end

Perfect OP, you are a legend

It’s been a wild ride but we may need to part ways.

There’s been no cheeky fuckery.

No proudly protruding strap-ons.

No problem solving penises, or bolshy vaginas who don’t know their places.

It’s all gone a bit bucolic, I’m sorry to say.