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Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."

524 replies

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 03:08

I'm about to write a very long post about how the Style and Beauty board has helped me revolutionise my wardrobe! There's no one else in my life who is really interested in this stuff, so I've got to debrief here Smile

I have always enjoyed the threads about how to look polished or "expensive", but in my own life I've been an impulsive bargain shopper and the result was a wardrobe full of clothes but a feeling of never looking as put-together as I wanted. Last year, I decided I was going to change this and take a planned, intentional approach to my wardrobe, spending more money on less items. I know the classic, polished look is not everyone's cup of tea, but it was what I wanted, and I also wanted to shop more sustainably and buy things that would last for years and not go out of style.

Starting at the beginning of July 2019, I allocated myself a weekly sum that I was allowed to spend on clothes an accessories (100AUD per week, so about £52), added up what the total would be over the course of a full year, and then created a list of everything I thought I would need- shoes, clothes, underwear etc- to feel polished and put together. I spent a lot of time researching exactly which items I wanted and how much they cost, put it all in a spreadsheet so I could see what the total was, and eventually ended up with a list that used up 90% of the overall budget, with 10% left over for "extra" items and a list of what I might want those extras to be (new sunglasses, for instance.)

A lot of the items on my list were "boring" things that I wouldn't impulse-purchase on a fun shopping trip, and were more expensive than I'd be able to buy if I was just spending my £52 per week in an ad hoc manner on whatever I pleased. Examples include really comfortable black leather ballet flats that I can walk for miles in, and a black leather shoulder bag with a zipper and the perfect strap length. I had to save my allocated money each week, and then make a purchase when I had accumulated enough to buy the next item on the list.

I'm now almost seven months into my year of planned purchases and I can't believe what a difference it's made! For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I have the appropriate things to wear for every occasion, and it's really easy to get dressed and feel polished and elegant. Instead of cheap, fun party dresses or eleven million cute tops that don't go with anything else I own, I can now get dressed for, say, a casual brunch in jeans and a t-shirt that fit me perfectly, are made out of quality fabrics and beautifully cut. I have the right casual shoes to go with them, and a bra underneath that fits properly. My bag is a lovely, soft leather and fits the occasion, my earrings are understated but solid gold, and it all works well together without me having to think much about it. All of the "boring" purchases have added up to a wardrobe that works well for my actual life.

I can't see myself ever going back. I no longer make impulse purchases, and I find that quite calming. I can walk past shops without being tempted by a cheap bargain pair of shoes, because I know it's not on my list and the things that ARE on my list are the things I really want and will use. I don't shop in sales unless something on my list goes on sale.

I'm already brainstorming what will go on the next list once this first twelve months is up. Having pared back my wardrobe and bought the basics I need, I feel like the next step is saving up for some investment pieces, maybe only buying three or four items a year once I've replaced things that have worn out. I'm dreaming of bespoke coats and antique earrings!

None of this is rocket science, but I wanted to share it in case anyone else is like me and wants a bit of inspiration about how to make a change.

OP posts:
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WandaDavy · 13/01/2021 14:42

Great thread, thank you. I'm attempting something similar this year. Having a good sort out, and choosing to buy only quality over quantity. I'm forever sorting items "lowest to highest" and purchasing items based on price, not necessarily need or suitability. I hadn't considered my wishlist so will use that approach before purchasing anything new. I actually don't feel I need anything new - just a good sort. So I might even ban purchases this year, or until I fully understand what it in my new streamlined wardrobe!

Brogues · 13/01/2021 17:57

Yay for the thread revival. @LavenderHills that cuff is stunning Shock

I found last year quite liberating in terms of what I was, or more precisely wasn’t buying. I was definitely trying to be more considered and will try and keep this going. I managed to get a few good quality basics ticked off including a Baukjen black T-shirt, a black uniqlo sleeveless jersey but smart jumpsuit, new jewellery to elevate my basic look and some grey jeans. Unfortunately the grey jeans just aren’t right but I’ve ordered some more from Next sale. Ditto I’ve ordered some white jeans to replace some I’ve rarely worn because they aren’t quite right. Oh a lovely green tea dress because the colour makes me happy.

My 2021 list for inspiration:

Grey work/smart jogger trousers so I can wear at work and WFH
Black or white quite plain trainers
White and/or grey good quality T-shirt (Baukjen/brand alley)
Neural ballet pumps but ones that come up a bit higher than normal (I did see some promising ones in M&S)
Dark indigo jeans (been on my list for years actually)
Dark grey roll neck jumper (to replace a frequently worn version - will probably get this from uniqlo)
I’d like a tiny bit of Hermes orange or Diptique packaging yellow somehow maybe accessories or a merino jumper.

marmitericecakes · 13/01/2021 19:17

@LavenderHills

Also *@marmitericecakes* What size are you? I have the Something Tailored Shirt from A Day in medium, and I never wear it because it's too big for me. I didn't realise that until it was too late to return it. I'd be happy to send it to you if you think it would fit; much better to donate it to a fellow Mumsnetter than have it languishing in my wardrobe!
Ah thanks so much @LavenderHills! That's an amazing offer and I'm happy to pay you...

I'm currently a size 14 but am losing weight in a sensible way and am aiming to be a size 12 on top.

If you have the right size I'm happy to pay towards the cost of the shirt and cover postage.

Please PM me your bank details and I can transfer. It's a very kind and generous offer and I really appreciate it!

whataboutbob · 14/01/2021 17:33

Hi @LavenderHills, can I ask a question? Do you have any of the ADAY trousers ( or pants as they call them!). I’m tempted by the Turn it Up pants. Any comments on fit, quality, longevity would be welcome. Also, did you have to pay duty fees on receiving them? Thank you.

SoupnSalads · 14/01/2021 18:05

@Brogues Is it this sort of style?

www.marksandspencer.com/leather-high-cut-ballerina-pumps/p/clp60260533?extid=ps_ps-bpla_ggl_ww_ch__-UK-_-_grow&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=Cj0KCQiA9P__BRC0ARIsAEZ6irhHe7i5xCTTHibGXoYf8zR5uyWRut6tZblICOz-bLV8N6z7wtr-Kp0aAiX5EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

I have tried them on and they are great. I was umming and ahhing over the half sizes, I can't remember if it was going down or up. I also saw someone in them in the supermarket and thought they were nice which was a good sign.

I highly rate dark indigo jeans, very flattering and leg lengthening.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 14/01/2021 18:20

These pumps are in my list too...flat but a bit more interesting.

Brogues · 14/01/2021 18:37

Yes @SoupnSalads those are the ones. Don’t really want to be ordering multiples at the moment to try for size though. Already got a bra set to go back because the sizing is way off my last set Hmm

Uptheduffy · 14/01/2021 18:48

I have those M&S flat shoes in three colours, I have issues with really flat shoes and I can wear these ones all day, if they bring out any more colours I'm getting those too Grin

LavenderHills · 17/01/2021 09:01

@marmitericecakes I've just PM'd you. No need to pay for the shirt; I'll be happy to see it go to a good home Smile

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 17/01/2021 09:09

@whataboutbob I have two pairs of the Portfolio Pant (in navy and tan) and wear them both at least once a week. They have held up well to repeated washing and wearing, and still look new. I absolutely love them!

I can also vouch for the quality of the leggings, which are hard-wearing and very flattering, but I don't have any other styles of trousers yet. I'd be very keen to hear your thoughts if you do buy some.

I didn't have to pay any shipping duties, but it might be best to check with the company before ordering, just in case.

OP posts:
plum1304 · 17/01/2021 20:05

On my list this year is a great black leather bag.... still hunting!

caperplips · 17/01/2021 21:31

Hello OP
I hope it's ok for me to join in? I bought v little last year & my work clothes before that were already getting tired. Plus I gained weight that I have now lost again.
I've saved up & have thought a lot about what I want & now I'm starting to buy. There are some great bargains in the sales thus year & I ve decided to buy more expensive & hopefully better quality clothes..
I have a list in mind & so far I have bought
A wine Palones Robe coat - amazing quality
A black Palones blazer
A black whistles cord oversized blazer
A whistle sparkle jacket & cropped wide legged trousers (fun rather than work)
A Paul smith suit (trousers & Jacket)
Wide legged bottle green wool trousers Paul smith

On my list I have :
Silk shirts
Cashmere jumpers
Leather aline skirt in burgundy leather

LavenderHills · 17/01/2021 21:58

@caperplips Uniqlo does good quality, affordable cashmere jumpers and cardigans. I really like them. Also, as I've mentioned before, The Fable silk shirts are gorgeous. I also have a lovely one I found on eBay from Theory.

@plum1304 What are your specific requirements for the perfect handbag? Someone may know where to find it!

OP posts:
caperplips · 18/01/2021 09:48

Thank you @LavenderHills I'll take a look. I've never bought from uniqulo before as we don't have one here. Is the sizing true?
I have my eye on some lovely knitwear from Winser London too.
My next project is to empty my wardrobe & ruthlessly get rid of clothes that no longer fit or that I'm bored of (wearing them for years)
My usual go to shops are whistles & jigsaw so it's really nice to branch out with some new brands

whataboutbob · 18/01/2021 13:06

Thank you @LavenderHill, good to have your views on the trousers. I’m continuing my audit of my wardrobe and now need to think hard whether a new pair of quality trousers is needed. Don’t really need them now as WFH, but once this all ends I think they will definitely have a role.

plum1304 · 18/01/2021 21:07

I think it’s hard @LavenderHills as I’m not totally sure, I definitely want pebbled leather, a relaxed style, a shoulder strap and a medium size... feels like I’m on the hunt for Goldilocks’ bag!!

Brogues · 21/01/2021 19:31

The M&S pumps are on offer. I’ve just ordered some in dark rose which I’m hoping it a kind of neutral. www.marksandspencer.com/leather-flat-chisel-toe-ballerina-pumps/p/clp60477632?image=SD_01_T02_4961_I4_X_EC_0&color=DARKROSE&prevPage=srp#intid=prodColourId-60485294

MrsDrudge · 22/01/2021 07:17

I tried those pumps from M&S. I have very long thin feet anyway but rather than looking elegant I looked rather like a medieval peasant. They will probably look very stylish on someone with normal feet.

Brogues · 22/01/2021 10:43

Medieval peasant shoes - love it haha. They do have that vibe don’t they? I’ll let you all know the verdict when they arrive.

Pigtailsandall · 25/01/2021 08:58

I love this thread, I just read it through. So cool you've done this @LavenderHills although I doubt I could commit the time you have done, I admire the approach you have taken! I've tried similar - essentially cutting down anything that doesn't fit/isn't cut well, is looking tatty/broken etc., and generally getting rid of things which I just don't wear. I'm not trying to achieve a capsule wardrobe as such, but I am hoping to get to a point where most things can be mixed and matched, and I never have to pull out a skirt wondering what it might go with. It's also interesting to see where the gaps lie - i.e. what I'd like to add to my shopping list.

Slow progress but it's been inspiring to read about your project!

MindBodyChocolate · 25/01/2021 18:51

Hi everyone, I’m really enjoying this thread!

I’m in the process of losing weight (had weight loss surgery in November so still a way to go) and am putting together my own capsule lists for when my weight loss stops. It’s a step into the unknown as I think I’ll end up at size 12/14 and the last time I was that size, I was 18 and penniless. Now I’m in my early 40s and have the money to dedicate to buying well and sustainably and I’m just not sure what I’ll suit or want to buy.

So capsule lists are pretty long at the minute :)

JaceLancs · 25/01/2021 21:29

I’m looking to extend my shoe collection
I suit pointed toe shoes as have small narrow feet
These are the sort of thing
www.google.co.uk/shopping/product/15520124448921876413?q=manolo+blahnik+flat+pointed&client=safari&hl=en-gb&biw=375&bih=633&tbs=cat:187,pdtr0:871889|872244,pdtr1:2657130|2657131,pdtr2:2657135|2657137,vw:g,init_ar:SgVKAwi7AUoKUggI0Zs1ILSeNUoMUgoI6paiASDrlqIBSgxSCgjvlqIBIPGWogFKB7IEBAjmpyA%3D,ss:44&prmd=sinv&sxsrf=ALeKk03OD4ie2M3hnDJ14RGhwy6lHLrFxg:1611609912149&prds=epd:10671338444089230321,cdl:1,prmr:1,cs:1
Any good budget versions? I like Dune but not many options at moment

JaceLancs · 26/01/2021 00:40

Thank you!
Quite happy to shop at LKBennett but I don’t suit brogues unfortunately

TTCAbroad · 26/01/2021 06:43

I'm shamelessly placemarking as I don't want to loose this thread! It's so inspiring to see someone who has planned, persevered and been successful.

Anyone have any good tips for clearing out older, unworn items that you have lingering emotional attachment to? Not even 'this was my grandmothers' but more like 'this is the shirt I was wearing when I met my (now) husband.' Said shirt is just a cotton t-shirt but I can't let it go! Unfortunately I have a fair amount of these items and I can't justify buying any new items until I have space in my wardrobe.