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Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."

524 replies

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 03:08

I'm about to write a very long post about how the Style and Beauty board has helped me revolutionise my wardrobe! There's no one else in my life who is really interested in this stuff, so I've got to debrief here Smile

I have always enjoyed the threads about how to look polished or "expensive", but in my own life I've been an impulsive bargain shopper and the result was a wardrobe full of clothes but a feeling of never looking as put-together as I wanted. Last year, I decided I was going to change this and take a planned, intentional approach to my wardrobe, spending more money on less items. I know the classic, polished look is not everyone's cup of tea, but it was what I wanted, and I also wanted to shop more sustainably and buy things that would last for years and not go out of style.

Starting at the beginning of July 2019, I allocated myself a weekly sum that I was allowed to spend on clothes an accessories (100AUD per week, so about £52), added up what the total would be over the course of a full year, and then created a list of everything I thought I would need- shoes, clothes, underwear etc- to feel polished and put together. I spent a lot of time researching exactly which items I wanted and how much they cost, put it all in a spreadsheet so I could see what the total was, and eventually ended up with a list that used up 90% of the overall budget, with 10% left over for "extra" items and a list of what I might want those extras to be (new sunglasses, for instance.)

A lot of the items on my list were "boring" things that I wouldn't impulse-purchase on a fun shopping trip, and were more expensive than I'd be able to buy if I was just spending my £52 per week in an ad hoc manner on whatever I pleased. Examples include really comfortable black leather ballet flats that I can walk for miles in, and a black leather shoulder bag with a zipper and the perfect strap length. I had to save my allocated money each week, and then make a purchase when I had accumulated enough to buy the next item on the list.

I'm now almost seven months into my year of planned purchases and I can't believe what a difference it's made! For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I have the appropriate things to wear for every occasion, and it's really easy to get dressed and feel polished and elegant. Instead of cheap, fun party dresses or eleven million cute tops that don't go with anything else I own, I can now get dressed for, say, a casual brunch in jeans and a t-shirt that fit me perfectly, are made out of quality fabrics and beautifully cut. I have the right casual shoes to go with them, and a bra underneath that fits properly. My bag is a lovely, soft leather and fits the occasion, my earrings are understated but solid gold, and it all works well together without me having to think much about it. All of the "boring" purchases have added up to a wardrobe that works well for my actual life.

I can't see myself ever going back. I no longer make impulse purchases, and I find that quite calming. I can walk past shops without being tempted by a cheap bargain pair of shoes, because I know it's not on my list and the things that ARE on my list are the things I really want and will use. I don't shop in sales unless something on my list goes on sale.

I'm already brainstorming what will go on the next list once this first twelve months is up. Having pared back my wardrobe and bought the basics I need, I feel like the next step is saving up for some investment pieces, maybe only buying three or four items a year once I've replaced things that have worn out. I'm dreaming of bespoke coats and antique earrings!

None of this is rocket science, but I wanted to share it in case anyone else is like me and wants a bit of inspiration about how to make a change.

OP posts:
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Yorkshirepuddingforever · 06/01/2021 18:01

Hi @LavenderHills 👋 I was very inspired by your approach and have started my own list. It was really helpful to search through Pinterest and find outfits I like as part of my issue is that I didn't really know what my style was anymore.

SoupnSalads · 06/01/2021 19:21

Someone recommended Threads upthread or in another site, a stylist sends you outfit recommendations based on what you put in, and its totally free, its based on algorithims but you can ask for something you are looking for. Its very addictive which concerns me a lot i.e the way, but point being I found my style which is practical yet stylish. I need pieces that go for work or casual, and look effortlessly put together. It also got my body shape better than those pictures online as it gives current realistic clothes.

It gave me different colours to what I thought....because I said I have freckles! I totally forgot about this point, which is why colours like cream look cold on me, whereas sand, a much warmer colour looks lovely. Sand, pebble/stone grey, navy or navy grey, and rich red. I never would have picked red but I did recently buy red Saltwater sandals so I must be gravitating to it.

I'm going to watch the colour tutorial this weekend. I'm enjoying the creativity of the process and learning and understanding more without impulse buying. Saying that I just bought a pastel skirt from Coast which I thought I could wear in Summer to work. Its my Covid hope skirt.

I am going to sort out a list for sports clothes and keep going with the 'list'. I have to lose a stone so taking my time but I don't mind as I know I will have pieces I love with years of use ahead.

Drybird2020 · 07/01/2021 10:39

This is a very interesting and inspiring approach to clothes!

I'm nowhere near as sleek and polished as you, OP, but I am going to put together a version of the spreadsheet that will work for me and my wardrobe.

For example, I love vintage dresses and have a few that I wear a lot, but to work well, they need truly excellent tights and the right cardigan, and I often find I don't have either.

Has anyone found a UK company that does custom t-shirts? My most repeated purchase is long sleeved Ts for layering and I hate how little wear I get out of the cheap ones. A false economy indeed.

glas14368 · 07/01/2021 11:38

[quote SoupnSalads]I downloaded Your Closet, can't comment as not tried yet.

Can I also share the John Lewis Personal Style Edit? I had a lot of fun with it before.

www.johnlewis.com/women/personal-style-edit[/quote]
Thanks for this, just tired it. It is fun.

Need to sort out my own wardrobe. It's full of things I have bought because they were a bargain rather than because they suit me. I have so many things that I don't wear.

whataboutbob · 07/01/2021 18:46

@Drybird2020 I am also on the lookout for a company that does custom made t shirts. For layering, I have petit bateau t shirts, the quality tends to be good but I have to really scroll around to find colours that suit me .

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 07/01/2021 19:16

I think saving for what you really want is very important. We've all bought items in the sale that were 'a bargain'thst have gone to the charity shop with the tags still on.

I am busy planning at the moment. I have made a list (one of my favourite things to do!) but saving my money at the moment as l will be at home until the spring at the earliest. And l'm losing weight.

Also l can sew, so l will be really concentrating on making some lovely well fitting quality items. I normally BUY ALL THE FABRIC and make things too quickly. Well, in the past year I have anyway. Going back to enjoying the process rather than being focussed on getting to the end all the time.

LavenderHills · 08/01/2021 03:56

Would anyone be willing to share their own lists? I'd love to see what's on them!

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Yorkshirepuddingforever · 08/01/2021 19:50

My list as it stands currently is:

Diamond tragus stud
Diamond huggie hoop earrings
Dark Grey leather biker jacket
Silk shirt
Trainers - grey or white superga or veja
Grey boucle peacoat
Dusky pink cashmere jumper
Denim jacket
Oversized summer maxi dress
Slim jeans in light denim and washed black - topshop editor

I am pregnant at the moment so can take a bit of time to refine it once I see what still fits from my own wardrobe after the baby and I have a clear out. Won't be buying any of the clothes items until I am at a post baby size I am happy with but will look at sourcing the jewellery items.

Recent purchases which have been on my in my head wishlist for a while have been an APC grey demi lune bag and some Sezane suede sheepskin lined boots. These have both been upgrade purchases to replace worn out cheaper items and I have bee

Yorkshirepuddingforever · 08/01/2021 19:52

Oops posted too soon. Meant to say really happy with both as in line with the theory of the thread I spent a long time considering them as they were both expensive purchases despite being in the sale so I knew they ticked all my boxes before I ordered.

I need to make sure I am research the other items on list as thoroughly!

whataboutbob · 08/01/2021 22:29

I am not planning to buy anything right now. My plan is to pull out and wear as many of my clothes as possible and put outfits together, new or ones I’ve not tried for a while, and also accessorise differently. The idea being I will weed out anything that does not work for me anymore.
I find the main mental barrier is my less than glamorous life circumstances : WFH in a flat with two teenagers who are home schooling and have to be supervised to ensure they don’t spend all day gaming. But I’ve decided not to let that beat me!

Labobo · 08/01/2021 22:51

I love some of the stuff in A Day. But they are eye-wateringly expensive. £175 for elasticated waist trousers? £160 for leggings? I'd want to see them and try them on first.

Drybird2020 · 09/01/2021 01:01

Has anyone heard or used www.thewhitetshirt.com/? They will tailor their shorts to your measurements - not quite as bespoke as OP's Aussie t shirts but the closest UK versions I've found so far by googling.

whataboutbob · 09/01/2021 13:27

They look good. I think their basic t shirt is similar to petit bateau, but the plus point is they are organic.

Drybird2020 · 09/01/2021 15:51

*shirts, my post should have said! No way am I ready for tailor made shorts.

@whataboutbob the organic cotton is a major selling point, I want to take a more sustainable approach to buying clothes.

I'm doing a wardrobe inventory before making my list - and it's fun! I've stuck a few things on ebay and weeded out the dross to donate or recycle.

My issue is that I have lost a lot of weight and I'm not sure what suits me any more. I've started a Pinterest board as suggested by @LavenderHills but it all feels a bit random and disjointed. Is it old me or new me, or are these clothes that look good on other people and not me at all?! 🤔🙄 I realise I probably need to start my own thread for these musings, but is anyone here having a similar style crisis?

BlueSussex · 09/01/2021 16:07

SoupnSalads I now get a box from stitchfix every now and then and love it. I get to try clothes I wouldn't select in the shops but turns out they look great on me.

I have a box coming next month and have asked for their own brand soft skinny jeans in dark indigo or black, plus some winter weight maxi dresses. Here's my £15 off code if anyone fancies it for free.
www.stitchfix.co.uk/invite/ffztmxfkwh?sod=w&g=w&som=c

I "had to" get lots of loungewear last year as I honestly didn't have any. I have a really corporate job and wore jeans at weekends. It's been a bit of a revelation Smile

LavenderHills · 09/01/2021 22:44

@Drybird2020 If you feel comfortable doing this, why don't you tell us a bit about what you look like (body type, colouring etc) and then post a few pictures of outfits you like from your Pinterest? Then we could discuss what might work for you Smile

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LavenderHills · 09/01/2021 22:52

@Labobo I find the trick with A Day is to figure out what you want and then patiently wait for the sales. They have quite good ones; in November they had a "buy one item, choose another for free" deal, and I bought a shirt dress, a tank top and two different pairs of leggings for 50% of what it would normally have cost me.

They also have a good returns policy, and having amassed quite a lot of A Day clothing, I really am convinced that you get what you pay for. The clothes stand up to so much washing and packing and travel and long days etc, and never wrinkle or lose shape.

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LavenderHills · 09/01/2021 22:55

I should have added to my last post that I also want to try Ministry Of Supply for work clothes. They're a similar concept to A Day and look great, but the rest of my budget for this financial year has already been allocated and I'm sticking to my list! Maybe I'll put some MoS on the next list.

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 09/01/2021 23:01

@Yorkshirepuddingforever Your list looks great!

Focussing on the jewellery while you're pregnant is a good idea. I find it so satisfying to buy nice jewellery for myself and get exactly what I want without waiting for someone else to buy it for me. (That said, I did get surprised with a beautiful necklace from my favourite jeweller for Christmas!)

Also, I am a recent convert to silk blouses/shirts. They really elevate an outfit so beautifully Smile

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marmitericecakes · 10/01/2021 14:02

I'm finding this thread fascinating. Really encouraging and strangely therapeutic. I'm in the process of losing weight so am not in a position to buy clothes yet but I'm really drawn to the overall vision of an capsule collection. @LavenderHills thank you for sharing so much - it's really helpful to people like me who don't know where to start. I hoard clothes in the vain hope they'll fit me again some day but they're pretty much all impulse purchases because they were in the sale rather than because I needed them.

You've inspired me to change. But I have to get value for money so even if I have to wait till November to buy some items from A Day then I will!! I'm keen on their "Something tailored shirt" and "turn it up pants". By November (was it a Black Friday sale?) I will have maintained the weight loss I'm aiming for so will have a better idea of my size and body shape.

It's fascinating to see everyone's lists and inspiration being shared here so thank you all!

marmitericecakes · 10/01/2021 14:04

@LavenderHills sorry I meant to ask - any particular recommendations for silk shirts? I think they look amazing (on models), timeless and classy but I have young twins who have no concept of the cleanliness!!

SoupnSalads · 12/01/2021 14:17

Came back to report on a 'classic' purchase:

www.vionicshoes.co.uk/women/flats/robyn-flat.html?76=47

Was holding out for plain black on sale but opted for these in the sale. Oh my god the comfort! They are not silver like the picture, more a gunmetal grey. They have a removable orthotic sole, my god the arch support. I think I have been missing this a lot especially as now WFH and not wearing shoes as much. The removable sole is handy as I put it in some boots and it had same effect. They sell the soles separately on their website so I can replace if needed as they can get grubby. The shoe is smart enough for work, equally a sporty or edgier outfit. Not sure how the cutout will fare but I have had leather cutouts before and they lasted. Handy in summer when feet need to breathe more. I went for my normal size 6 and had just got in from a long walk so my feet were hot and consequently bigger when I tried them on so felt more snug but think they will stretch anyway. They stay on at the heel brilliantly so I wouldn't go up a size. I have v wide feet.

Currently wearing indoors and will continue to. I was a bit worried I'd gone mumsy but frankly the comfort of them is divine, I also just noticed the cutout on the front toes is shaped likes a sun which is cute.

I like the black spots loafer too...

LavenderHills · 13/01/2021 11:01

@marmitericecakes I swear by silk shirts from The Fable. They're beautiful, ethically manufactured, and machine washable on a delicate setting. I have four of them Blush

www.thefable.com.au

However, they are another Australian brand, so you may wish to look for something closer to home. In this respect I'm not the most useful OP; I really try to make the most out of living here by wearing Australian brands. There are so many excellent ones that aren't well-known in the UK, but it does mean that my recommendations can be a bit annoying if you don't want to pay for international shipping!

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LavenderHills · 13/01/2021 11:04

@SoupnSalads I'm glad you've found your perfect, comfortable shoe Smile

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LavenderHills · 13/01/2021 11:08

Also @marmitericecakes What size are you? I have the Something Tailored Shirt from A Day in medium, and I never wear it because it's too big for me. I didn't realise that until it was too late to return it. I'd be happy to send it to you if you think it would fit; much better to donate it to a fellow Mumsnetter than have it languishing in my wardrobe!

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