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Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."

524 replies

LavenderHills · 17/01/2020 03:08

I'm about to write a very long post about how the Style and Beauty board has helped me revolutionise my wardrobe! There's no one else in my life who is really interested in this stuff, so I've got to debrief here Smile

I have always enjoyed the threads about how to look polished or "expensive", but in my own life I've been an impulsive bargain shopper and the result was a wardrobe full of clothes but a feeling of never looking as put-together as I wanted. Last year, I decided I was going to change this and take a planned, intentional approach to my wardrobe, spending more money on less items. I know the classic, polished look is not everyone's cup of tea, but it was what I wanted, and I also wanted to shop more sustainably and buy things that would last for years and not go out of style.

Starting at the beginning of July 2019, I allocated myself a weekly sum that I was allowed to spend on clothes an accessories (100AUD per week, so about £52), added up what the total would be over the course of a full year, and then created a list of everything I thought I would need- shoes, clothes, underwear etc- to feel polished and put together. I spent a lot of time researching exactly which items I wanted and how much they cost, put it all in a spreadsheet so I could see what the total was, and eventually ended up with a list that used up 90% of the overall budget, with 10% left over for "extra" items and a list of what I might want those extras to be (new sunglasses, for instance.)

A lot of the items on my list were "boring" things that I wouldn't impulse-purchase on a fun shopping trip, and were more expensive than I'd be able to buy if I was just spending my £52 per week in an ad hoc manner on whatever I pleased. Examples include really comfortable black leather ballet flats that I can walk for miles in, and a black leather shoulder bag with a zipper and the perfect strap length. I had to save my allocated money each week, and then make a purchase when I had accumulated enough to buy the next item on the list.

I'm now almost seven months into my year of planned purchases and I can't believe what a difference it's made! For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I have the appropriate things to wear for every occasion, and it's really easy to get dressed and feel polished and elegant. Instead of cheap, fun party dresses or eleven million cute tops that don't go with anything else I own, I can now get dressed for, say, a casual brunch in jeans and a t-shirt that fit me perfectly, are made out of quality fabrics and beautifully cut. I have the right casual shoes to go with them, and a bra underneath that fits properly. My bag is a lovely, soft leather and fits the occasion, my earrings are understated but solid gold, and it all works well together without me having to think much about it. All of the "boring" purchases have added up to a wardrobe that works well for my actual life.

I can't see myself ever going back. I no longer make impulse purchases, and I find that quite calming. I can walk past shops without being tempted by a cheap bargain pair of shoes, because I know it's not on my list and the things that ARE on my list are the things I really want and will use. I don't shop in sales unless something on my list goes on sale.

I'm already brainstorming what will go on the next list once this first twelve months is up. Having pared back my wardrobe and bought the basics I need, I feel like the next step is saving up for some investment pieces, maybe only buying three or four items a year once I've replaced things that have worn out. I'm dreaming of bespoke coats and antique earrings!

None of this is rocket science, but I wanted to share it in case anyone else is like me and wants a bit of inspiration about how to make a change.

OP posts:
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SoupnSalads · 04/01/2021 06:04

Also these shoes by Vionic

www.vionicshoes.co.uk/women/flats/hannah-ballet-flat.html?76=590

Divebar · 04/01/2021 10:22

I don’t know if this has already been mentioned but I really like a blogger called A Small Wardrobe who has a very chic style. She manages to look good without resorting to blazers and trench coats etc that you typically see trotted out on content around “ capsule Wardrobes”

m.youtube.com/channel/UCnofNUJuSu42XfiI9cI0JTQ

SoupnSalads · 04/01/2021 11:13

My goodness that is almost therapeutic to watch. I love her trousers.

SoupnSalads · 05/01/2021 00:32

I was wondering how she manages to have one ankle boot. I have a black ankle chelsea boot in a more stompy style I never wear but hang on to, and a brown tapered ankle boot that the leather is a bit delicate on, I could have one brown chelsea boot in a style I love and sell the other two.

I like the tonal trainers, makes coordinating easier.

SoupnSalads · 05/01/2021 02:18

Also came across this: www.nearlynewcashmere.co.uk/

Divebar · 05/01/2021 08:41

@SoupnSalads

Interesting link... I wonder where she sources her cashmere from? I have found a nice black cashmere sweater in the men’s section of a charity shop. It had the obligatory moth holes ( just 2 though) so ive ordered a repair kit. There are a couple of methods of repairing moth holes including a bonding powder that you can buy. Worth thinking about if the item is otherwise of good quality.

SparklingLime · 05/01/2021 09:30

Such a good thread, @LavenderHills... keen for an update!

whataboutbob · 05/01/2021 09:41

Really good video @Divebar. Intrigued about her course.

Divebar · 05/01/2021 09:50

@whataboutbob

Thanks....I do think she’s chic / elegant but in her own way. I’m In the process of getting rid of clothes ( again 🙄) but I haven’t worked out the direction to go in... particularly as I’m not in the office so much. I haven’t looked into the course but I’m curious too. If it’s not too expensive I might give it a go.

LavenderHills · 05/01/2021 12:15

Oh, wow! I had no idea this thread had been revived until @SparklingLime tagged me in a post! How exciting Smile

I have lots of updates, but I'm about to go to bed (am in Australia) so will read everyone's thoughts and write a proper post in the morning.

OP posts:
whataboutbob · 05/01/2021 12:16

I put away all the stuff I won’t wear till spring and my wardrobe looks better. I also discovered a rich seam of organic cotton basics online. Hard to find good cotton basics in the shops.

wizzbangfizz · 05/01/2021 13:49

This is such a good idea - I'm doing a wardrobe clear out and this thread has really made me think

whataboutbob · 05/01/2021 15:11

@Divebar I’ve looked at a few of her videos today and I really like her philosophy, basically: buy less, buy better, wear more. It’s an intelligent approach. I looked at the colour philosophy tutorial ( free) which was good. The whole course is the equivalent of £205 and I’m considering it, especially if I can make savings elsewhere this month.
@LavenderHills welcome back!
@wizzbangfizz good luck with the clear out!

LavenderHills · 05/01/2021 22:57

Hello again!

I've made some lovely purchases since I was last on this thread, and I'm steadily working my way through my 2020/21 list.

In answer to the question from @whataboutbob about dressing during the pandemic, my situation is slightly unique because I live in Australia, where we have largely been extremely lucky COVID-wise, and I work in politics so am apparently "essential". We did have a nationwide lockdown early in 2020, so for a few months I was working from home (in a lot of stretchy bamboo pieces from a brand called Boody, in case anyone is interested) but since then I've had to work, travel and dress pretty much as normal. I have invested in some pure silk face masks in black, white and pale pink, as they allow the skin the breathe etc. I got mine from the link below, but I'm sure there are lots of others available.

https://www.shhhsilk.com.au/collections/silk-face-covering

Having spent a year updating my basics, I've been able to make some more exciting purchases in the last six months (well, exciting to me. Probably very boring to a lot of others!)

I have bought some statement gold hoop earrings and a gold cuff from the designer Louise Olsen, which I'd wanted for aaaaages and am delighted with. I'll add pictures below. I've also bought a beautiful cashmere blend belted coat from an Australian brand called Friends With Frank, which I wore every day in winter and felt extremely louche and glamorous in Smile

I'm considering making one exception to my previously stated eschewing of big name designers, and saving up for a pair of those classic two-tone Chanel ballet flats in the original tan and black. I'm not worried they'd go out of style and I think I'd get a lot of wear out of them, although I'd get a rubber sole added to the bottom to give them more grip and make them last longer.

My other plans for this year are to expand my basic shoe wardrobe to have some flat shoe options beyond my trusty ballet flats. I’m thinking brogues and loafers. (I've also decided that since I've managed to acquire my perfect capsule wardrobe of shoes and bags in black, I will now work on replicating it in brown to give myself more outfit options. I have a pair of beautiful brown leather knee high boots languishing in the cupboard from years ago, which I never wear because my lovely black bags don't go with them.)

The other thing I should mention is that I've been spending about a quarter of my monthly budget on a subscription to a clothing rental service. I pay a monthly fee and it allows me to rent three items at a time, keep them as long as I like and then return them for three new items as often as I like. As well as being a sustainable option, this has meant I've been able to have lots of fun with dresses, blouses, suits etc that stray from my "classic investment purchase" ethos. I would not spend £500 on a pale pink suit for work or a very This Season dress for going out to dinner, but will I rent them? Yes! Wear them, have lots of fun and get lots of compliments, then send them back for some other woman to enjoy. It's been one of the highlights of my year! I've also found that my capsule wardrobe stands me in good stead here, because I don't have trouble finding shoes, trousers, accessories etc to go with whatever I've rented.

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 05/01/2021 22:58

Oops, I forgot to add photos. Here are the earrings, cuff and coat I've bought this year.

Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."
Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."
Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance."
OP posts:
SoupnSalads · 05/01/2021 23:12

Wow the jewellery is stunning OP. I am loving your approach!

bibbidybobbidyboo · 05/01/2021 23:14

I love your style OP!

LavenderHills · 06/01/2021 00:21

@Divebar that video is so interesting! I hadn't heard of the blogger before and her style is quite different to mine, but she is obviously very thoughtful about what she wears and how she puts things together, as well as focussing on sustainability.

OP posts:
SpeckledyHen · 06/01/2021 05:49

Great to see you back OP .

Divebar · 06/01/2021 08:28

@LavenderHills

Hi. Sorry I probably should have started my own thread. I realise the style was different to your own - which seems to be more classic - but I thought she had an elegant simplicity. She has a good approach to style based on her own lifestyle - rather than trotting out the same advice about white shirts and trench coats. I’m at the point of wanting change within my own wardrobe . I certainly want to stop impulsive purchases but I haven’t yet worked out what direction to go in. Ultimately I’m over-faced by the content of my wardrobe which seems to create a certain amount of mental noise. I’m also clearing out books and ornaments etc so it’s not just my wardrobe. Clearly the time of year 😃

LavenderHills · 06/01/2021 08:44

@Divebar No, of course you don't need to start another thread! This thread is about people finding their own style and working towards a wardrobe they're happy with, not just emulating mine or anyone else's Smile

I think that blogger has a lot of good advice to give.

OP posts:
Divebar · 06/01/2021 08:59

@LavenderHills

Have you had any mis-steps along the way or any purchases you regret? I have phases of being very good then a flurry of purchases because I’m bored ( which is quite often ). I need to work on my impulse control.

DianaT1969 · 06/01/2021 09:03

@LavenderHills - great to see this thread again. I was inspired by the first one.
One question, I'm surprised that you are moving into brown colourways, as that usually suits 'autumn' people, whereas previously you went for black.
If I follow colour rules, I'm a spring and neither black nor brown suit me. I'm not drawn to them either. Although I can get away with a bitter, dark chocolate and I can wear tan accessories of course.

LavenderHills · 06/01/2021 10:14

@DianaT1969 I find that I can wear both black and brown. I prefer black, but I'd like to have a set of brown accessories to give myself more options when I feel like it. I'm thinking of getting my favourite black bag (the Petite Parisian, as discussed above) in brown as a first step.

OP posts:
LavenderHills · 06/01/2021 10:48

@Divebar I can honestly say that there haven't been any purchases I regret, but lest that sound too smug, there were a LOT is missteps and regrets before I started doing things this way Grin

I think the reason it's working is that I just refuse to compromise anymore. If I've saved up my money for the perfect pair of boots, I don't make a purchase until I'm certain it is the PERFECT pair.

OP posts: