DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

[NewSchmooo]

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

are you in the garage did you say?

there are no metal wrenches or anything to distract him with if he does come in?

No sorry false alarm. It was just junk mail offering me viagra. Bloody ironic.

lol weeblewobble.

You don't need Viagra when you have a Delia recommended Mermaid Yorkshire pudding tin...

I'm going to need a saucepan in a minute. I need the loo but can't possibly leave at this crucial moment!

Can't wait any longer, need a wee and DS is 1/2 hour past his bedtime because of this!! Come on!

rofl @ weeblewobble's post.

Suggest you wait in the garage for him to come and find you. take you clothes off and assume a pose, possibly shearing your ladygarden with secateurs. Wearing nowt but lusty expression. Then say "What's sauce for the gander is sauce for the goose, dh".

What snot on cuffs about, is that a sexual reference? Sorry don't get it.

I am deeply shocked really. I know it's not another woman but the most adventurous he has ever been before was when we did it here in the garage on top of the grow bags. Now that memory is all sullied

Speccy, that picture made my wee-wee a bit tickly... am beginning to see what NewSchmoo's DH sees in it.

Hmm Weeble, what a coincidence....slight distraction while we wait...humm de dumm..

Does he have his mobile with him? Send him a text telling him to check his email. Its inhumane that we should be left hanging like this.

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Rofl Slouchy - this is not good for my bladder!

More mail hang on.

He has replied.

Sorry, but if I was going to shag kitchen utensils they would come from John Lewis at the very least - none of this Lakeland goat for me .

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specialmagiclady - I am crying now

Were you surrounded by garden implements on the growbags. You must look out for clues you know, then you won't get these shocks.

You are all laughing. I expected some support.

Oh....My....God....Nearly...There....

Quick, pass the Nutmeg Grater....

Here Katy - have mine. I'll make do with the bottle opener.

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