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Original poster

DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

510 replies

NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:25

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

OP posts:
Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:39

Ok I won't tell you what he said then.

Having people to talk to at this difficult time was helping but you are all literally pissing yourselves.

OP posts:
katylui1 · 19/08/2007 20:40

Sorry Schmoo...what's he said??

Fimbo · 19/08/2007 20:40

Oh gawn

FunkyGlassSlipper · 19/08/2007 20:40

NS - Best advice I can give would be to talk rather than email.

What did he say?

Speccy · 19/08/2007 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 20:41

The worst experiences of your life can very quickly turn into hilarious dinner party anecdotes (or maybe hen night anecdotes in this case) when you find the humour in them (take for example my spunk in the eye story).

policywonk · 19/08/2007 20:41

It's like the people standing on the quayside at New York asking about Little Nell

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 20:41

I'm in control now. Do tell.

alucard · 19/08/2007 20:42

Tell us the spunk in the eye story while we wait

Cappuccino · 19/08/2007 20:42

"we did it here in the garage on top of the grow bags. Now that memory is all sullied"

oh you're good

obvious, but good

specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 20:42

Also we are all just dead relieved it's not us TBH.

(DH suggests joining in his fetish by plunging his balls in deep fat fryer.)

mummymagic · 19/08/2007 20:42

come on, what did he reply? this is brilliant, btw

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 20:43

I was in control until Special posted. Someone gag her!

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 20:43

Oooh...spunk in the eye...for pleasure??? Am really confused, thought I was open minded...

FunkyGlassSlipper · 19/08/2007 20:43

special

southeastastra · 19/08/2007 20:44

we all have our 'things' his is stainless steel obviously

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:44

He said that he's sorry. That it started with just the milk pan when he wanted to wank and it was the nearest thing one day to catch it in (he wanked in MY kitcen?? My Moby kitchen ) but then he realised he liked looking at the stainless steel and then it's got a bit out of control now.

He says its not unhygienic because he wears kitchen gloves and then he was mindful of that. (Say WHAT???)

He said he has made me a cup of tea and to come in and talk to him.

Oh dear.

OP posts:
Speccy · 19/08/2007 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NormaStanleyFletcher · 19/08/2007 20:45

Oh please do tell us what he has replied - we are all here rooting for you...

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:45

Obivous what Cappuncino??

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 19/08/2007 20:46

Well I had to read this thread...but strange to find it on behaviour/development...although it appears he has developed a fetsih and this is strange behaviour. If this is genuine then what the hell go and join in the fun take the rolling pin with you ....or maybe you could try the garlic press on your nipples ...

if it is not genuine then thanks for the biggest laugh i have had in ages....although I am not sure laughing so hard is good so late on in pregnancy.....

Can see it now you both in marigolds his blue, yours yellow, knife sharpner in his hand and garlic press in yours.......can't quite figure out what the milk pan was for but hey if you thought you disturbed him mid aim then i am sure you can find somewhere else for him to aim at...

ok must go and calm down now.....

KaySamuels · 19/08/2007 20:46

Newschmoo, please don't let people finding this humorous get to you, you are in the midst of it and feel like your world has been turned upside down, whereas to us it is a shocking, don't know what to say situation.

Talk to your dh and see what he has to say.

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 20:46

Take the nut crackers in with you.

mummymagic · 19/08/2007 20:46

Go and talk.
Gosh, if this is true, you will turn it into a BRilliant story! Maybe you should write a book.

specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 20:46

GO AND TALK TO HIM!

And while you do, I shall amuse the masses with my Spunky tales....

are you all sitting comfortably?