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Original poster

DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

510 replies

NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:25

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

OP posts:
katylui1 · 19/08/2007 19:54

Could you 'fess up to a secret fantasy? This could well but the start of something?..

If you really can't stand it, ask him to come to you whenever he feels the urge. An ex of mine used to love going to strippers and I would go with him, but he wanted to go more and more so I asked him to stop for a while and put the effort into me - and I always reciprocated (there could be no headaches!) It was bloody brilliant! But very tiring!

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:54

But he was saying stuff. I didn't like it

OP posts:
pipsqueeke · 19/08/2007 19:56

what was he saying? if you don't/didn't like ti you must tell him.

Slouchy · 19/08/2007 19:58

He was 'syaing stuff' to the contents of your knife drawer? The mind boggles.

I think this is all fairly plausible except for the mood-setting - candles, soft lights etc. How many blokes need this sort of ambience to gett hem in the mood?

(Although, blokes that fancy pots and pans must be quite rare too)

Slouchy · 19/08/2007 19:59

The pans he was using - they weren't the ones you cooked hamster soup in were they?

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:12

Sorry, was dealing with my cat who was terorising next doors dog. Notice DH didn't come out and deal with it.

He was murmuring in what sounded like french. And then it just became mmmm mmmmm and groans. I was too embarassed to mention it before but you all think I'm a prude. What about this then. He was wearing blue marigolds. I don't know where he got them from. Now tell me that's normal.

OP posts:
JeremyVile · 19/08/2007 20:14

"How can I complete with a kitchen set? It's just ridiculous. He doesnt even like cooking"

"I don't want to see the kitchen ware. I can't face it."

"I have not seen him with an erection that big in years"

ROFL!!

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 20:15

Oh come on...am wondering now.

Everything is normal, its just been a secret and that would be the problem for me. Go and talk to him. Tell him you'll accept whatever he tells you and you are grown up enough to talk about it, but he has to tell you as secrets have no place in your marriage. He is going to have to feel a little embaressed to save you feeling incredibly hurt. As his wife, you are worth that.

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:16

I am sorry you find it funny Jeremy. I will try to be supportive when you post on here all distraught because you have found your husband f-cking inanimate objects and crooning at them in a foreign language. But perhaps you will just laugh.

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 20:16

Message withdrawn

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:17

I didn't even know he knew french apart from "c'est combien" in a gift shop in Paris when we went for our 4th anniversary. And Merci and Bonjour.

I think it was french. I have only a shcool girl smattering.

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 20:18

Message withdrawn

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:18

I am compiling an email. I can't face the saucepans. I know I'm a coward but I just cant'

OP posts:
Slouchy · 19/08/2007 20:18

Blue marigolds. Nice detail schmoo. Are they the ExtraHeavyDuty ones for washing cars etc/

Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 20:18

Message withdrawn

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 20:19

Dp winced when I told him about the garlic press. He's sitting with his legs crossed now.

NormaStanleyFletcher · 19/08/2007 20:19

You don't have snot on your cuffs do you?

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:19

Although I could go round the front and bypass the kitchen I suppose.

Just some chocolate and a map. Why??

OP posts:
katylui1 · 19/08/2007 20:20

EMail???? Your Husband????

Seriously, not even the pans would do that.

I'm not trying to be funny, but go, noe, and deal with it. It will be OK. He hasn't changed, you've just found out something you didn't yet know.

Do you really have no secrets???

Slouchy · 19/08/2007 20:20

Just noticed this in behaviour/development. Makes a change from naughty step postings!

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 20:21

'now' not noe

Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 20:22

Message withdrawn

alucard · 19/08/2007 20:23

are you going to tell him about the email or just wait in the garage until he decides to check.

Speccy · 19/08/2007 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:24

Well only a few store card.. not about my sex life that doesn't involve him!

I have sent this. (I know he is on the pc in the bedroom I saw the glow at the window when I was dealing with the cat).

Dear B

I don't know how to compete with a Lakeland kitchenware set. You didn't even like it when we bought it; you said the Argos one was better.

What does it give you that I don't?

And when did you learn to speak French?

You need to clean the stain off the bedcover. I suppose that was what the milk pan was for but my untimely arrival disturbed your aim.

I don't know what to say to you.

I COOK in those pans and our children and WE eat the meals they create.

What do you have have to say to me?

OP posts: