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Original poster

I can offer you solutions to all your problems

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 10:16

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I have a very old useless degree in humanities from a poly therefore am completely unfettered by knowledge or training. Bring me your problems and I'll solve them.

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Thread gallery
13
Trumpton · 14/02/2019 19:49

Thigh are you free?
I think I need to marry you !

Trumpton · 14/02/2019 19:50

P.S. ihavebeen lurking as I have an old mil . I think we would make an amazing alliance!

ReaganSomerset · 14/02/2019 19:54

I can't work out whether to put my one year old in a nursery or hire a nanny when I go back to work. Please help.

lolaflores · 14/02/2019 20:01

Hello! I e been laid down for some hours now...is it sufficient? DH has bought Valentine's chips home? Is this reason to get off the floor or will offer of fizzy pop make it a done deal?
Do offers of biscuits contractually oblige me to acts of marital intimacy later on? Or just a hand job?
Where do the fuck boys go by the way. Asking for a friend

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 20:15

Trumpton thanks but I've promised everyone not to get married yet again, it doesn't bring out the best in me. Should you be feeling romantic though you could join Freddie's Flowers for free and use my code JaneS2 and i might give you a whirl.

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NameChanger22 · 14/02/2019 20:16

Thanks for your advice OP. You are so wise and helpful. I have been practising smiling and mentally shrugging all day. I think I've nailed it. I managed to do this whilst lying down and eating chocolate orange.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 20:18

Reagan i would say hire a nanny at 1 as she will be in nursery whenever the free hours start. It will be less of a faff having a nanny come to you in the morning than trying desperately to get a baby ready and be on time.

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RockingMyFiftiesNot · 14/02/2019 20:23

I can't stop eating/drinking but need to lose 3 stone

NameChanger22 · 14/02/2019 20:24

DD (12) thinks children are all scammers because they get everything for free. Do you agree? What can we do about it?

EducatingArti · 14/02/2019 20:24

Arti write today off. Some days you should expect no more from yourself than breathing in and out, today is such a day.

Thigh. This is actually just exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 20:25

Iola you don't have to lie down if you would prefer to get up. Chips is quite an enticement really isn't it, fizzy pop too. I would say the biscuits fall under the grooming rule and you can keep it to a hand shandy. Fuckboys are down by the river gathering up plastic sheeting.

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MissTook · 14/02/2019 20:29

I love these threads where we get a practically real qualified expert Mnetter taking timeout of their busy life to impart their woo knowledge. Grin

Trumpton · 14/02/2019 20:35

thigh actually I am glad you don’t want to marry me as I am quite fond of my husband of 44 years and cba to train a new partner !
Will order some flowers though and act all coy when they arrive !
“ Flowers ? “ I shall say “ well I am sure I don’t know who they came from ! “
Quite safe in the knowledge that he has not the slightest inkling how to access banking online !

hummanahummana · 14/02/2019 20:43

My DH won't stop playing with his phone, for the love of god its Valentine's Day. How do I get him to stop?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 20:46

Changer children are scammers and bastards. Just when you have decided to tie them to some railings and walk away they buy you a teddy from Clintons that says "Wuv U" and you do another year of slavery.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 20:49

Rocking do you really need to lose 3 stone? I doubt it, buy a black waterfall cardigan and wear brighter lipstick. Don't drink too much alcohol though, it will make you feel worse.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 20:51

humm ignore the fact it is VD day and go for a bath if he's ignoring you. As he's on his phone text him to clear up the kitchen, from the bath.

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tiredandworried123 · 14/02/2019 21:04

My six week old baby cries a lot. How am I to get through this? Have tried lying down but it's not very relaxing when he's screeching in my ear.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 21:08

tired buy a battery powered swing, babies are unable to cry when in there.

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WheelyCote · 14/02/2019 21:08

Is my drill broke. It keeps flashing blue sparks inside?😬 otherwise it still turns

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 21:13

Wheely for electrical matters we have to defer to

@pigletjohn

He'll be along in a moment.

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ChesterGreySideboard · 14/02/2019 21:44

I don’t want to have to go to work anymore but I still want the same money as I have now.

RickOShay · 14/02/2019 21:48

I have posted something really thick on the Syrian thread. Too ashamed to admit my ignorance. What should i do thigh?

OMGithurts · 14/02/2019 21:53

DH is stuck in hideous traffic on the way home from work yet again. I feel obliged to stay up to see him but I don't know how long it will be until he gets home. How long until I give up and go to bed?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 21:54

Grey could you accept less money for more fun? Be a dog walker or just xerox your paycheque.

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