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Original poster

I can offer you solutions to all your problems

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 10:16

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I have a very old useless degree in humanities from a poly therefore am completely unfettered by knowledge or training. Bring me your problems and I'll solve them.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 15:41

Nyon if it's a longer commute don't do it, if it's less go for it. Each minute spent on a commute is a minute closer to death. It is better to be bored than to be forced to spend longer at work.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 15:43

DanglyTassles Asda delivers for £25 - if it's more urgent than that (and it could well be) do you have a teenager you could bribe to go to the shop?

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 15:45

PhilomenaButterfly the journey is more important than the destination. If Amarillo is your El Dorado then yes, this is the way to Amarillo, crack on.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 15:46

Threewheeler1 many of us marry in our sleep and it's absolutely not your fault.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 15:47

MaMisled have you done a Cartman and eaten all the skin off the fried chicken? Next time settle your stomach with some fat coke first.

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Nyon · 14/02/2019 15:49

Hmmm. Thigh the problem with the commute is that my current one is only 10 minutes long. Not sure I’ll ever beat that 😂

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 15:50

BitOutOfPractice does it truly need to be done? Could you write a letter and put it in the post instead? If you can't be bothered to turn on your printer then handwrite it and take a picture with your phone. The less interaction the better.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 15:51

UtterlyDesperate no I am not, I am too lazy and busy lying down to work on weekends. I view this as doing by bit for Care in the Community.

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Threewheeler1 · 14/02/2019 15:53

thigh
Can you do a regular weekly advice column please? TheMysticEyeofThigh or something like that Grin

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 14/02/2019 15:53

Blimey Nyon, 10 min is practically working from home, commute wise.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 15:54

Nyon stay in your current job. A short commute is worth its weight in gold. How much extra would you get pcm to take home then factor in extra costs of travel and I bet it's not enough to have to learn where the toilet is etc in the new place. If your current job is boring do online shopping etc in the toilet.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 15:55

Threewheeler1 of course, I live to serve. I need frequent naps and lie downs and tasty snacks though. Perhaps I should have my own section?

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 15:56

I'm exceptionally proud of you all for lying down and resting whilst I was out.

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UAEMum · 14/02/2019 16:16

I am very disappointed. My DH has remembered Valentines day. Now I have no justifiable reason for having a munk on with him. He will now also remember my birthday tomorrow (having had valentines day as a cue). What shall I do?

willowmelangell · 14/02/2019 16:17

I was laying down watching snooker when the bright sun showed up all the dust. I got up and closed the curtains, realized I was hungry and put on pasta. Then realized I only had blue cheese. So I am eating chunks of blue cheese while wondering,
How long can I reasonably ignore the dust?

Queenfreak · 14/02/2019 16:19

I have a veritable mountain of stuff that needs either shipping off to the charity shop or fleabaying.
How long can I reasonably leave it blocking access to the downstairs loo before I'll have to do something about it?
It's been a month so far.......

BitOutOfPractice · 14/02/2019 16:21

Ha! I had already sort of taken your advice and emailed

OldBrownShoe · 14/02/2019 16:23

if so, he has been placing probes in your brain whilst you sleep

But what if I fall asleep when I’m having a lay down and a rest? Will I ever be safe?

weleasewoderick22 · 14/02/2019 16:27

OP you're a star and this thread is hilarious 😂

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 16:27

UAEMum ask him if he has ever had a wank about anything other than you. If he says yes tell him that in your book that means he has been unfaithful. If he says no, well then he's an unfaithful liar.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 16:28

willowmelangell what is "dust". Seriously though, must you have "people" in your house? I have a no guests rule that is strictly adhered to.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 16:30

Queenfreak you know those plastic charity bags that get put through the letterbox? Start to stuff junk in there one bag at a time.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 16:31

BitOutOfPractice awesome, there are pros and cons with email v letter. There is more risk of interaction but you don't have to walk to the post box. Well done.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 16:32

OldBrownShoe you are not safe. Go bag / river / forensics / integral garage.

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FadedRed · 14/02/2019 16:42

You are an awesome and wise person thighofrelief101
My question is simple: what are the winning lottery numbers for next Saturday (PM me and i’ll share my winnings with you)
Many thanks.