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Original poster

I can offer you solutions to all your problems

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 14/02/2019 10:16

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I have a very old useless degree in humanities from a poly therefore am completely unfettered by knowledge or training. Bring me your problems and I'll solve them.

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Thread gallery
13
Gettingsomewhere · 18/02/2019 22:44

Glad to be of assistance, Alpaca. Was it the integral garage, the pigs, the plastic sheeting or the Fuckboys that finally persuaded him?

Gettingsomewhere · 18/02/2019 22:57

Thigh, halitosis in 20th century dictators is a fascinating subject. If I wasn't busy lying down and eating lots of dinners, I would definitely look into it

Lau00 · 18/02/2019 23:02

Today I have lied down all day long (my mum even made my tea and delivered it to my house). I have a week off work and would like to stay lied down all week but my dog needs walking. What should I do?

Smotheroffive · 18/02/2019 23:21

There was brief sun today, that would have been your moment of seizing Lau00

Going on the principle of making at while the sun shines! Except making hay is to be avoided of course.

I have been telling a friend about the guru that is thigh and she was particularly interested in the fuckboys obviously I'm not so I said I would ask for her about how many times she might be able to visit without seeming rude sex craved

What would you consider as reasonable for me her thigh

Perhaps I might also be permitted to ask if you could indulge us in a little of your 'guru in action' day today, so we might pick up some more tips that we might adapt for ourselves?

Many thanks and much appreciation as always Smile Cake Cake Wine Wine oh hell sod it a whole Gin

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 18/02/2019 23:28

Lau00 there's so much to admire in your post, yet so unassuming. Toot your own horn more, you are very Thigh.

Now to the dog walking problem. Your dog comes first as you know but you do need to rest. You may need to make some initial effort then you can catch up on your rest.

Go to the river and find the Fuckboys, they're gathering up plastic sheeting. Offer them the promise of a surprise at the end of the week if they walk your dog vigorously and twice daily.

Fuckboys are thick, pretty and they'll do owt.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 18/02/2019 23:37

Smother citizens of Thighland can visit Fuckboys as often as they wish, no need for a quota. Carry a dog lead and wear a blue carnation.

Thigh doesn't do action as you well know. I have turned the knob on the dryer and microwaved some bollix. For "work i have avoided a meeting and done some typing, blagging n shizz.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 18/02/2019 23:41

I've also had an evening nap, a recreational bath, eaten Dolly Mixtures and watched two murder programmes. I have to keep my knowledge of all things macabre tip top and there wasn't anything on dictators.

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LondonHuffyPuffy · 19/02/2019 00:42

I have just read this entire thread (whilst lying down). It has encouraged much snacking (we live in a small flat so I didn’t have to move too far to get snax) and lots of snorty laughter.

I got a bit strung out and bereft when it suddenly stopped at 23:41 and wondered where everyone was. Then I realised - you are all either lying down or down by the river.

I look forward to much more of this thread. Or another one.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 19/02/2019 07:29

CADRE!!

I have to go off base and do some typing n shizz - Getting, Hellen and Smother - hold the fort. Hellen - help with body disposal as prison sounds boring and probably smells bad.

Remember Rule 4 - this isn't AIBU (shudders). I will add relevant dictators later.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 19/02/2019 07:31

Also think up ways i can make a living from this. Every second I spend doing typing n shizz is a second shaved off my life and my mission.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 19/02/2019 08:17

A COMIC! A proper weekly comic for women who don't care, won't care. Like Jackie.

There'd be a photo love section featuring the Fuckboys. A huge Thagony Aunt section.

Angry accessible cartoons re my other thread under my old user name thighofrelief without the "101".

We employ a proper cartoonist to depict the dictators.

Hellen do you want people to see which were your drawings? They were superb.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 19/02/2019 08:18

Going back to. "work" now, i leave you with those thmusings.

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Gettingsomewhere · 19/02/2019 08:19

Rule 4 is No one gets told off
Rule 5 is This isn't AIBU

Our advice is always 100% reasonable, 100% of the time

woollyheart · 19/02/2019 08:20

Isn't rule 4 exactly the same as rule 5?

Gettingsomewhere · 19/02/2019 08:21

I need Helen's help. While I was lying down, my boy child entered my room (uninvited, when I get up I'll find a lock) and proposed we trade in our dragon for a pig. Should I be concerned? Are they onto us?

Gettingsomewhere · 19/02/2019 08:22

You're right, Woolly. Some of us haven't had coffee yet

Mysterycat23 · 19/02/2019 08:26

This thread has changed my life.

It's like a warm reassuring hug from the bestest and most maddest auntie that I don't have but always wanted.

Gettingsomewhere · 19/02/2019 08:32

The comic is an excellent suggestion, Great Thigh. But can I propose an additional Fuckboy section where we teach them to do useful things? Edition 1 could be "How to Deliver Coffee". The pictures will help

OhYouBadBadKitten · 19/02/2019 08:36

Help!
I need to go clothes shopping tomorrow. My clothes are mostly baggy and old. My clothing choices seem stuck in the '80s (the decade, not my age)
Where do I start?

Gettingsomewhere · 19/02/2019 08:38

Old baggy clothes are perfect for lying down in. Don't start.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 19/02/2019 08:41

True that. Thank you.

Luaa · 19/02/2019 11:09

Also good for lying down in are bamboo joggers, t-shirts and jumpers. I have a bamboo jumper and I love it. It almost makes going outside bearable. Like wearing a hug.

Laska2Meryls · 19/02/2019 11:13

Also "how to make the perfect toasted sandwich" and "How to make microwave mug cakes " info for the fuckboys. .. I have had to go to work today. I did have to sit up driving the car as I haven't worked out how to lie down on it and drive.. I think the answer is to " work at home" as much as possible. I shall have a go at dictating that to my boss today.Any tips?

ssd · 19/02/2019 11:14

Thanks thighsthelimit
I hope you are finding a way to get paid for this? I recommend contacting the Viz

Laska2Meryls · 19/02/2019 11:15

I have got Chocolate in my desk and have put my feet up. ..how can I get coffee though? I don't have an office slave handy