I can offer you solutions to all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I have a very old useless degree in humanities from a poly therefore am completely unfettered by knowledge or training. Bring me your problems and I'll solve them.

Good thought, Getting I think my body may have suffered as well, eating a vegan dinner , when not actually vegan ..

Thanks Thigh
You're spot on. I am discombobulated by him.
So relieved it's not my fault.

I have cats - is that acceptable?

Laska, your body may have suffered, but no animals have.

'Suffered' was the wrong word, I think Getting .. if anything it would have just been a small shock to the system. As i have had a lie down now , I realise I may have written a tad hastily.. I am fine, and yes the animals are fine.. (I hope the vegetables didn't suffer though) .

I need to do the washing up now.. It is very annoying that DH isn't here to do it as it will expend unnecessary energy especially as we do not have a dishwasher .. I shall have to consider if I need to take him into the integral garage when he returns

Why don't I have any lamb chops left?
Why is DS playing with Lego and making me watch shite football?
Why has the whippet stolen my blanket?
I have wine so it isn't all bad. And Home Bargains version of Ameretto......

Kelper, you don't have any lamb chops left because Laska has left the dishes "soaking" at her house and helped herself to your fridge for a very non-vegan "Third Dinner".
A man child is "making" you watch football? Have your learnt nothing from Thigh's teachings????

I'm afraid I can't help with dog problems, my specialty is dragons

Gettingsomewhere, its the first time he's shown interest in football for about a million years, he's got the attention span of a gnat usually so I'm impressed we're half an hour in! Plus it means I get my laptop to mumsnet instead of listening to weirdos on youtube.
So every cloud and all that!
I hope Laska enjoyed my posh bacon too ;)
(small child is now singing about how he and I can be pro-fortnite gamers. I need more wine!!)

Thigh please come back!

Why am I being unfairly maligned? Is it because I had a vegan dinner when I am not one ?

Congratulations on the new boy-child attention span. Fingers crossed for a regular 90 minute nap. Weirdos on YouTube are currently allowing me to answer all your problems. Every cloud, Kelper, every cloud

i can help with dogs. (ive not imagined the word fat there see?)

and body disposal.

Yep, your turn Hellen

Laska, did you eat my invisible spare lamb chops?! If not you're safe!
Hellen my whippet has no brains and thinks the house is cold.
Also Laska you absolutely need a dishwasher, DH has a spare one incase the current one suffers an injury. I luffs him for that!

Excellent, I am the thread killer. DS is now having a massive strop because the football is not going his way. Need. More. Wine

. kelper No!!! I think it was Hellen's dog

I haven't even had my second dinner yet (that will be after the washing up ,which I've not done yet - I had to have another lie down at the very thought of it ). I am just thinking of moving now because my glass is empty and th wine is in the kitchen

A spare dishwasher!! Have you married a saint or something ?

well dogs are clearly superior beings that get humans to do their bidding and 9/10 it works.

i mean how cute does that whippet look in a blanket? who deserves it more?
the dog will win.
just acquiesce. its easier.

Ok, am back. Thanks for holding the fort cadre, I'm proud of you. You are perfecting the tone, harsh on others, loving and supportive to patients.

laska if you have to do the washing up then you should definitely eat the cheese as supper. Somehow calling it supper makes it sound ok. Not that we would ever judge you for eating two dinners obviously. I myself am currently contemplating a second helping of dinner. Which was also vegan, but so am I.

I kneel before you, Lord Thigh.
I may have insulted a patient by accusing her of having three dinners, but it's something I aspire to

Getting it's quite strenuous isn't it

What is the optimal number of children one should spawn? I have two at present and I’m undecided on a third.

I mean, the actual conception can be done lying down, which is great, but the forcing it out of my foof and making sure it doesn’t die for 18 years might interfere with my busy Netflix schedule.

Eating three dinners or solving people's problems? Either way, I need a nap

Hellen, the whippet looks very cute in the blanket, she manages to get all of her under the blanket because she is cute and whippetty and clearly needs it 🙄
Laska, Id love to say I married a saint but he applied this logic of needing several of the same thing to everything in his life apart from DS, myself and DW (DearWhippet)

kelper he sounds very smart. A few years ago our dishwasher broke and we had to wait 6 weeks for it to be fixed! 6 weeks handwqshing everything! If I had your dh I could have avoided the whole traumatic situation.

Before my nap, can I just add that having two of everything makes the divorce process much simpler. You might not need either of your integral garages