I'm totally unreasonable. DH putting on a 'ill voice'.

[ThirdChildFourthPile]

I know, I know I'm being unreasonable. And I've told myself a million times but it's still winding me up. I'm actually avoiding him because of it.

I'm 7 months pregnant, we have two kids.
He had a vasectomy today so I'm juggling the kids and uni and hospital appointments with this baby while he rests his testicals.
This, I have no problem with at all. It's been a long time coming! And the more he rests now, the better he will heal.

But the ill voice he is putting on is like nails down a black board.
He used to do it years ago, I haven't heard him 'put on' a voice in years. He used to put on this faint, wobbly voice whenever he had any ache or pain or cold. My sympathy used to instantly shrivel up.

Now he's putting on this small, high pitched little boy voice and it grates on my so much.
It's like pouring salt on my sympathy for his testicals. I really wish he wouldn't do it!

So I need to get it out here in this safe space where I can name change and move on.

[GummyGoddess]

Reminds me of when I had hyperemesis. Pausing to vomit multiple times a day while on medication and then getting on with whatever task. DH throws up and tries to take to bed, leaving pregnant me with the 17 month old, only just walking toddler. I don't think so! He felt fine other than the single vomiting episode!

[Volant]

have you thought he might actually be in pain?

Why would pain in the scrotum affect his voice?

[OzzyMadBat]

Shamba I just reread that in his voice. Still not over his biting the umbilical cord story.
www.theguardian.com/stage/2015/oct/07/brian-blessed-i-helped-a-woman-giving-birth-under-a-tree-deliver-her-baby
By his beard, the man's a Legend.

[Volant]

Whenever I get any sort of bug, DH's instant reaction is not to offer any sympathy, but to say "I hope I don't get it". But there's this note in his voice that tells you he really means that he hopes he does, because it'll be such a fantastic opportunity to put on the whole man flu act and demand sympathy because no-one else could possibly have suffered as much as him.

[LipstickHandbagCoffee]

In fairness he’s had his clackers cut, and he’s scared and in sick role
I get it’s annoying, and he’s making a lot of it and you’ve got a lot on too

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Dh had a persistent cough, a while back. Every time he coughed, he’d most about how he couldn’t take this cough any more. Every. Bloody. Time.

He was lucky to survive it - if I had had a spade and a patio...

[PyongyangKipperbang]

I used to get this until I had enough and decided to be as concerned as his act required. I think the final straw was when I went shopping came back, flying through the door and said shouted "Oh Thank GOD! You have managed to pull through another hour....."

I got a bollocking for taking the piss but the voice and the shuffling and the "Dont forget I am ill" coughing and groaning was soon at a minimum :o

[kateandme]

oh god yes the dressing gown.
and turning the head slowly when answering.
haha.nobs.
and then the "oh I couldn't help do that im poorly"and I stare in confused rage when I think "well when the f* do you do that anyway!"

[PyongyangKipperbang]

have you thought he might actually be in pain?

I am in horrible horrible pain every month. Pain that leaves me barely able to move. Somehow I manage to avoid it affecting my vocal chords.

[kateandme]

volant yes and I fear anyone I the house getting a cold or illness because I no his bloody excuses will be coming soon from getting it too.
funny how they are then also too ill to help or go to mil yet when its pub time he can just about manage.

[Kokeshi123]

Put on an icy voice and say acidly, "Are you SURE you wouldn't like a cough drop, dear? There seems to be something wrong with your voice" like Professor Mcgonagall talking to Umbridge every time she did her mimsy little "eh-hem" thing.

[RedLife]

Clackers

[OrigamiZoo]

Op - its fucking man thing, I swear.

As soon as anybody in this house says they feel ill, DP declares he is coming down with something too. And worse.

I have been ill at home with two kids under 5, barely able to get off sofa, not even a text to ask 'how are you?'

He frequently tell me I cant get ill as he won't know what to do. And he doesn't.

Any medication he takes, he has to take in front of me and the Dc, even eyedrops with exaggerated head bending and blinking.

The shuffling in the dressing gown gives me the rage.

Giving birth, strapped to monitors on the bed, excruciating pain down my leg, asked DP to rub my leg, after five minutes, refuse, saying his had hurt / was tired.

DD had to go to hospital to get her heart scanned. As we were heading off, he asked why we were going in the first place, as he had forgotten.

He recently had kidney stones, for real. I could see he was in pain, did what I could to help him (phoned for ambulance, offered painkillers) but part of me was frozen off and just didn't give a shit.

[1forAll74]

OH DEAR. what a terrible lot you all are, men need a lot of sympathy for many things that become them..please be kind to all these menfolk who love you.

[PhaedrasChocolate]

This thread is hilarious

Mine has the dressing gown of Doom. He is also The Most Tired Person In The World at all times.

Having said that, he had a vasectomy and didn't complain once, even though his bollocks were like a pair of aubergines for a couple of days.

By the way, I've met Brian Blessed, and can tell you, he is one of the warmest, funniest and loveliest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. And he's definitely Still Got It.

[NoUnicornsToSeeHere]

I can’t abide half arsed illness, of which the dressing gown of doom and the whiny voice are traits. My DH is now well trained enough to know he’s either ill in bed (where he can stay out of my way) or he’s not ill. I won’t have lying on the sofa ill.

[Volant]

DH still dines out on his sufferings when I was giving birth to DC1. Poor man, he'd been in hospital with me all day whilst they waited to see if an induction was working, then got called back around 11 p.m when they finally decided that it was going to happen. So that meant he'd read the mags he brought with him and eaten his sandwiches, and the poor love was awake and starving all night. To add insult to injury, the midwife was pregnant so when I had an epidural and needed help in moving she left it up to him to do all the work. I just don't know how he survived.

Though when he's regaling people with this dreadful tale, I have been known to kill the performance stone dead by pointing out that I wasn't enjoying it a whole lot either ...

[YuhBasic]

My DH is absolutely a “soldier on, carry on going to work and don’t make a fuss” kind of a guy when he’s ill but he was actually crying in pain after his vasectomy.

[penisbeakers]

I'm fucking crying.

RESTING TESTICLES.

God if anyone had chopped his cock off I'd probably wince, but honestly right, just tell him to toughen the fuck up and be lucky that he never has to give birth. Massive baby. 🙄

[Wingedharpy]

How does one "rest" a pair of testicles?

[Wingedharpy]

X post penisbeakers.

[vinegarqueen]

Arg the ILL VOICE. And the extremely loud huffing noise/sighing. And the dramatic collapsing into chairs worthy of a Shakespearean actress. My OH also declares it ”flu” no matter the symptoms, and we have to dissect where he might have got it. He always complains about being very very tired but never wants to go to bed (because he needs an audience). I can have the same illness and he won't believe it, because I refuse to put on the same theatricals.


Makes me want to scream. OP, you would be well within your rights to hand him an aspirin and some frozen peas and go out until it has passed.

[penisbeakers]

Conkers also had me laughing. Poor little manbeast.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

You need to act like you believe him.
Get steadily more and more dramatic as he does and see how quickly he stops when you fall to the floor weeping because HE IS ABOUT TO DIE. Just don’t laugh whilst doing it

[Flashingbeacon]

Ah the voice and slow head turn. DH had a hernia repair and I set him up on the couch, surrounded by snacks, drinks, painkillers, remotes, chargers and the phone. Off I pop to go about my day.
When I phoned to check there’s was a long pause and then a tiny sad voice said hello like he was 100.
On the 3rd call (we were buying a house and I was double checking everything) I just started talking when the phone connected and I think he got the hint.