I'm totally unreasonable. DH putting on a 'ill voice'.

[ThirdChildFourthPile]

I know, I know I'm being unreasonable. And I've told myself a million times but it's still winding me up. I'm actually avoiding him because of it.

I'm 7 months pregnant, we have two kids.
He had a vasectomy today so I'm juggling the kids and uni and hospital appointments with this baby while he rests his testicals.
This, I have no problem with at all. It's been a long time coming! And the more he rests now, the better he will heal.

But the ill voice he is putting on is like nails down a black board.
He used to do it years ago, I haven't heard him 'put on' a voice in years. He used to put on this faint, wobbly voice whenever he had any ache or pain or cold. My sympathy used to instantly shrivel up.

Now he's putting on this small, high pitched little boy voice and it grates on my so much.
It's like pouring salt on my sympathy for his testicals. I really wish he wouldn't do it!

So I need to get it out here in this safe space where I can name change and move on.

[Dontaskmeihaventaclue]

My xh had a tiny little plaster after his vasectomy. Then drove 150 miles to visit family for the weekend. I don't even remember him taking time off work, (self employed) my bil had already had his vasectomy and I think xh was determined to be as 'brave' as he was.

[RangeRider]

Actual ambulance job. Not a single sign of the voice and behaved as if nothing was going on.
Just like my dad. The merest sniffle and he's dying, yet when he collapsed for no reason & needed an ambulance he was cracking jokes and on fine form! (My mum was miles more shaken up than him & couldn't even remember what day it was)

[cherryca]

My dp was so "ill" once that he lied down on the floor moaning about how sick he was. I just left him to it. He did the whole sick little boy voice. But that miraculously disappeared as soon as he went on his pc though.

[VeganCow]

When my ex had this done he got told to shut it, I didnt want to hear it.. Due to me having to get on with it after my csection with no empathy from him. We were already on the downward spiral tbh.

[TriptychTwins]

Now he's putting on this small, high pitched little boy voice and it grates on my so much.

It's like pouring salt on my sympathy for his testicals. I really wish he wouldn't do it!

Maybe they gave him helium instead of anaesthetic?

[tigercub50]

My DH is the complete opposite - he doesn’t complain at all & actually he doesn’t let my nurturing side come out! I want to sympathise & look after him but he just wants to get on with it by himself.He is very rarely ill anyway.

[MaverickSnoopy]

Just say "I didn't realise your voice would change into a small child's voice after the vasectomy. Do you think it will stay like that?"

This ^^

As I lie in hospital watching my very poorly newborn sleep (while I also have an infection) I can honestly say this is the best thread ever and has perked me up.

Why do they do this? I can cope with illness and give buckets of sympathy, but "the voice" immediately shuts it down for me. "The voice" reminds me of a small child "putting it on" so I immediately do not believe he is actually ill, regardless of the situation. FYI despite the very shitty situation I find myself in, my voice is still fully functional.

[robinsinthespring]

Loving and laughing at this thread. When my DH has a cold the whole street can hear his crescendo sneezes, whaa, ooo sounds and the coughing, what it cant hear at the end of every cacophony is the small, pathetic "oh dear"

[Gettingonwithlife]

Soooo glad I’m single 😂

[HumptyNumptyNooNoo]

If I were you I'd tell him he needn't have bothered with the op - his whines have put you off having sex with him anyway !

[Mountainsoutofmolehills]

Maybe just start your own little boy balls voice...for the last 2 months of pregnancy, and maybe the first 6 months after birth. My mum said my ill voice was excellent for answering the phone with until I heard one of my friends on the line and was back to normal...

[Starlive23]

Hahahaha YANBU - that's one of life's major irritations right there!!

[florafawna]

Smack him in balls!

[LizzieBennettDarcy]

I'd pretend to make a Doctors appointment for him, say something awful must have happened during the surgery to affect his voice like it and you are worried it could be permanent.

DH tried and failed to get lots of sympathy when he had his done. Lots of holding onto his bits when he stood up or moved and "oooh that hurts" noises. He found a manky pair of tight swimming trunks to wear and I told him we'd never have sex again anyway after seeing him in them for a week - he could have just worn those and bypassed the procedure

[Juells]

Oh man he had The Pathetic Cough once where he stuck his tongue out during each cough like an infant.

Oh God I know there are six pages to the thread but I haven't managed to get past this post 🤣🤣🤣

How did you ever manage to get pregnant having seen that? 🤣🤣🤣

[MorningsEleven]

DH pulled a muscle in his back once. Said "This is just like when you had your c-section". I don't know why I let him live.

[Tentomidnight]

I am going to design a range of men’s dressing gowns with writing on the back à la Rocky ..
POORLY
MORE SICK THAN YOU
COUGH

[werideatdawn]

The Pathetic Voice makes me murderous. Along with use of words like "poorly". You're not 5, take a lemsip and stfu.

[Fiderer]

Dorigen My ex did the scarf too, the ScarfOfSeeHowSickI Am. He is German and it's fairly common here.

Dressing Gown of Doom, scarf, Sofa of Sickness, weak voice pleading "Can I have a tea with rum in it?" " Can I have some warm beer? " Because he had a sore throat.

Despite my lack of sympathy and ffs he finally gave up when I started asking him in an equally weedy voice if he needed his mum to come over to look after him. She would have but he declined. Probably unwillingly but he packed it in.

[Catren]

How do they all have the same flannel dressing gown?? Where did they come from and at what stage in the thought process did that make the purchase??

My dh is the same. The gown, the shuffle, the sad eyes and whiney voice. I can't stand it! We had the same cold the other week and he didn't notice i was even ill, let alone help me to look after poorly dd! Christ alive. Always little ailments that never seem to be solvable. I honestly stop listening now and I'm a bit concerned that we could miss something serious after the years of performance art..

[QueenOfMyWorld]

This thread is so relatable and so funny!

[ladydickisathingapparently]

You rang, ladies and gentlemen? I give you the Dressing Gown of Doom. Replete with Kleenex lovingly prepped in each large pocket!

[Stuckforthefourthtime]

The most fun bit? Having 3 DSs who then get dad's cold in swift succession and imitate him
Obviously I have it too, but it's only a woman cold, so I'm still quite capable of bringing the poor mites endless cups of tea while caring for the baby.

[problembottom]

We reached a low point a few years back where DP was only allowed to mention one ailment a day because he was driving me crazy with constant aches and pains. Call me unsympathetic but he's a marathon runner who has never spent a night in hospital!

I thankfully trained him out of it but he did make a comeback this pregnancy when the first trimester symptoms were at their worst. He decided he was experiencing a "sympathetic pregnancy" and was feeling equally rough. I told all our friends how concerned I was about him which didn't go down well.

[InkyGrail]

I had an ex who would put on a fake stutter whenever we disagreed about anything. It was really obviously fake as well.

The stutter was usually worse if he had done something shitty. He'd often forget to do it during a discussion and then remember and it'd be back. Saved it especially for me and was honestly the most childish and pathetic thing. Stressed about anything else? Nope voice normal. It actually makes me shudder with revulsion to recall it.

Mind you if I ever do miss that ex (which is next to never) all I have to do is recall the sound of the fake stutter and I am reminded why I am so much happier now! Works a like a charm.