To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

[Mansplanation]

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling

I also need to know!

Dave just suggested that OP was a silly woman who was only upset because Shart Goblin was on more money than her.

And that she should move on and not come on mumsnet getting all upset over someone who is better qualified and paid.

I read those ones, what did the two subsequent ones say?

SG just told one of my colleagues ‘yeah I’m here as a consultant to help Mansp out for a while

Cross post! 😲 I’ve changed my mind. Just kill the prick! 😠

Did your colleague challenge him when he claimed to be a consultant? I'd be tempted to say something like "Oh, I thought you were the long term replacement since Mansp is going on to bigger and better things, when are you leaving?"

Just checking if he's dead yet.

No he didn’t challenge him, didn’t give me a sideways look either but I think that’s because I was doggedly staring at my screen.

I’m venting here to prevent myself going with a nuclear option. I know I need to stay in control, I need to be out of here and that’s not going to happen unless I stroke this guys ego a bit and get him to think this is the right job for him.

I need a shower

Just checking if he's dead yet

We'll all cover for you.
To police detective: "Oh yes, Mansplanation was with us having a cup of coffee for most of this morning."
three hundred women can't be wrong ...

"SG just told one of my colleagues ‘yeah I’m here as a consultant to help Mansp out for a while"

@PositivelyPERF is right - ShartGoblin must die. And, entirely coincidentally, @mansplanation was here, with me, having coffee and cake when the dread deed occurred. Honest Guv.

Help! Someone's locked me in the store cupboard

Can you explain to me how to unlock the door?

Oh Shart!! You could die in there and nobody would know?

Hang in there, OP. This idiot is not worth you extending your time at the job when you have a shining future in front of you!

I think it's better to leave unlocking doors to the menz don't you?

It's ok, I'm licking the glue off post-it notes to survive. If I'm left here for too long however, I will be calling 101!

Yes good idea to ring 101. Room 101.

'Look, I"m going to give you some advice before I leave, because I recruited you and you seemed to be performing well at interview. I'm going to be straight with you, in your own best interests, because not everyone here will be as tolerant of you as I am being. I'm bearing with your lack of experience because I recruited you & I think you have potential to be quite good in this role. But you need to be careful of trying to tell other people what they already know. I understand that you're doing this because you're nervous and you want to impress me. But not everyone here will understand this & once I'm gone,, you won't be cut so much slack.. If there's anything you're unsure about, please feel free to ask me, but in the next week you should also observe how we do things here, and start to learn our procedures. I won't be here to protect you after the end of August.^'

Absolutely love this. All of it.

OP, you are an utter saint not to have murdered him so far. It's just stunning how little self awareness some people have. He sounds like a complete twerp and deep down, he knows it.

He ran a business but he ran it into the ground by the sounds of it.

Jeez the rest of the candidates must have been shocking if he was the best of the applicants.

he was the best

Thank you

And, entirely coincidentally, @mansplanation was here, with me, having coffee and cake when the dread deed occurred. Honest Guv.

Yes, I can vouch for you. I joined you halfway through, remember?

Going against the grain here - PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CALL HIM A SHART GOBLIN

When he patronises you again, just look at him really dumb and ask him to repeat it. Then again. And again. Then say 'after all this time doing this job, I'm glad someone has finally explained'.

I did slip earlier and when he said ‘you’re actually good at this aren’t you?’ (Attempt at a cheeky, winning smile that made him look like a paedophilic garden gnome)
That made me feel a bit ill. I once worked with a creepy mansplainer who would literally bring stuff over, kneel beside me and go through line by line slowly what I had to do (despite me being there a year longer than he had and having a VERY basic data entry role!). He'd also bring my print outs and tell me 'I'm doing your job for you'. He got arrested at work one day for having indecent pictures (vom)

What a total douchebag. I'd not be able to bite my tongue, you're doing well.

What's the worst that can happen if you do address him about his mansplaining and lack of knowledge? If you've signed a contract with the new employer, and agreed a leaving date with current employer would they really be able to hold you to the end of December if this cockwomble left?

Of course I remember, @RiceandBeans - we had such a lovely conversation about embroidery, and cooking and fluffy kittens - such suitable subjects for our little lady brains!