To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

[Mansplanation]

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling

Gosh a woman willing to stand up for herself and unwilling to be talked down to by a man, and one who can’t spell,
no less.

Clearly a psycho.

I fear for my safety and that of my colleagues. What am I to do??

Dave, quickly, do you have any suggestions? It’s just you’re the only man who’s ever diagnosed me before. What do you recommend? Am I curable? IS IT FATAL?

I can't actually believe all of Daves posts got deleted when it was extremely obviously a joke on a jokey thread...

OP, just to protect your own reputation, make absolutely sure the mansplainer can't do anything to trash it and take credit for "fixing" anything after you've left.

SG just told one of my colleagues ‘yeah I’m here as a consultant to help Mansp out for a while’

Ummmmm, no you’re not mate. You’re here to take on my job in exactly the same capacity as I was here, and he knows it. You look like a complete tool.

Any ideas why he’d say that?

Because he's an absolute bell end?

Maybe they haven't hired him permanently? He might just be on a temporary contract to see how he performs and he's just laying the groundwork for when he's given the boot to save face.

Because he's a twat and an idiot.

Dobby possibly, although as far as I know he’s just taking my role which is perminant?

Cos he's a utter twatwaffle and won't last! I give him four weeks before he's moved on as he is blatantly in over his head! There is one at work just like this can talk the talk but can't actually do the job properly

He may be hedging his bets OP as consultants are known for doing short stints and not always hanging around for too long? It sounds like you've done quite brilliantly asserting yourself with him today but if you're desperate to leave maybe now you need to reel him in so he doesn't jump before you?

“A consultant” to “help you out”

Looooooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with Torvi. He might be an idiot, but these people have an unerring sense for survival and are not to be trusted. Written from experience.

this post has made me laugh this morning OP thank you.

Well done on your new job :-)

I’m gutted Dave’s posts have gone!!

He was hilarious!

There is one at work just like this can talk the talk but can't actually do the job properly

There always is isn't there? In my experience they get the credit for frigging everything and management think the sun shines out of their arses. Meanwhile you're doing all the work and get treated like dirt .... sorry I may still be bitter about my last redundancy. I'm told that all of my managers had a meeting to consider begging me to come back though so I try not to be bitter.

I’d make sure you have back ups of your work on a secure drive that he can’t access. I expect he would take a lot of joy in deleting it all and then suggesting you had done it. Or arsing it up and overwriting things by accident.

If he’s ‘helping you out’ then I suggest you ask him to explain everything to do.

And state that;

‘As you’re hear to help me out I was hoping you’d explain this process to me? Not that I need it in my new job but you never know when I might have to hire and train someone in this role’

Oh, and they can be litigious too - claims of bullying, etc.

We've got a newly installed share goblin in our office. Thank goodness management see it as well. He's doing maternity cover and was beyond stunned by that he's been unsuccessful in his applications for permanent posts. Maybe because he knew so much he didn't need to prepare for the interview or accompanying presentation

Feeling your pain, OP. He sounds utterly knobbish.

But don't get drawn into a pissing competition. You won't win against a sexist stupid man. Be the bigger person.

I would do something more passive-agressive & TOTALLY high status - talk to him in a caring, very sincere way (use the head tilt again) along these lines

Look, I"m going to give you some advice before I leave, because I recruited you and you seemed to be performing well at interview. I'm going to be straight with you, in your own best interests, because not everyone here will be as tolerant of you as I am being. I'm bearing with your lack of experience because I recruited you & I think you have potential to be quite good in this role. But you need to be careful of trying to tell other people what they already know. I understand that you're doing this because you're nervous and you want to impress me. But not everyone here will understand this & once I'm gone,, you won't be cut so much slack.. If there's anything you're unsure about, please feel free to ask me, but in the next week you should also observe how we do things here, and start to learn our procedures. I won't be here to protect you after the end of August.

Patronise him under the guise of helping lay absolutely high status - but don't ever stoop to listing your experience or the post you're going to, or the doubled salary. If that comes up, play faux modest and use the tilted head & tinkly laugh. Act as though you assume that he recognises your expertise as a given, and that you have lots of experience to mentor him. Treat him as a subservient.

You could call him out on that comment feigning concern: I heard you saying to X that you’re here as a consultant helping me out for a while. I’m worried you might be confused - you know this job is permanent? I am training you to do my job when I leave, don’t you?

He sounds like a twit who is in over his head, but thinks he can bluff his way into keeping the job. He’s one of those men who thinks they can manipulate a woman into teaching him something while at the same time he can pretend he knows what he’s doing.

The ‘conditioned to be nice woman’ in me, actually feels a little sorry for him. Sorry 😳 He’s already thought he was more capable than he is, trying to run his own business, that’s went under and now he’s talked his way into a job he might not be capable of keeping. Can you imagine what’s going on in the silly man’s head? He’s probably realised his predicament but is desperately trying to learn, but the mansplaining is so deep, it’s now part of his DNA. 😁

I need to know what Dave's posts said?! 😂

Priority one is not to piss him off so he leaves because otherwise you’ll be there till December. I’d just keep that in mind.

SG just told one of my colleagues ‘yeah I’m here as a consultant to help Mansp out for a while’

Tinkly laugh. Treat him as a sweet stupid little boy. Which he is.

Do not show he has got under your skin