Oooo I received an anonymous letter this morning...from THE VILLAGERS 😬

[FlybirdFly]

Will post a pic later but need to redact info first.

An A4 page complaining about rubbish outside my house, that they’ve been picking it up for months, I have a responsibility to secure my rubbish and I have two weeks to get 2/3 wheelie bins or “measures will be taken”

It’s actually quite polite tbf if you ignore the subtle threat

Only problem is....it isn’t my fucking rubbish! We locked the gate to the field a few months ago and everyone now flytips outside the farm instead (by everyone I mean a few wankers) usually black bags that have missed the bin men/women. They use to chuck them on our farm bonfire but as the gate is locked they throw them on the bondary of my property. My rubbish is kept on my property until bin day.

Unfortunately they’ve missed all the signs saying we have CCTV so I’ll be having a look to see if I can see any pitchforks and angry villagers when I get back from the school run

Clutterbugsmum - thanks for that image. Now I have it too!

I'm back, did I miss anything ? Sits down with cuppa ☕️🍫

Nothing really, Still. With luck Fly is chasing after Julia this morning and putting posters up all over the place - after all, it's rubbish collection day tomorrow and the anonymous vigilante will probably be on the warpath again

Has anyone suggested getting a skip 😂😂

I wonder if there's a way to determine the brand of ballpoint pen used?

Don't they use slightly different formulations of ink each year, so they can tell this sort of think, and the age of the biro?

Yes. The real way to catch this heathen is to find what brand and year the pen is. THAT is the key to all this A man called Mr WH Smith did the crime!!!

I like the idea of leaving talc or paint or something around the bin area for footprints. Or radiation. A Geiger counter will lead you straight to the real crim.

LOL

I think it's Juliet Bravo.

Fed up with the police in the main towns laughing at her for the villagey crimes of penis-drawings, fly-tipping and probably chewing gum left under the bus stop seat, she has decided to take matters into her own hands.

She will investigate this anonymous letter writing harassment, to no immediate avail, and eventually will pin it on a recently deceased elderly inhabitant.The kudos received will enable her to climb the ladder in the MET whatever police force she wants to transfer to, as they will be clamouring to have her.

She and RVM are lovers, and he's been fly-tipping on her behalf. Initially that was going to be the major crime, but they're upping their game.

Fly-tipping -> anonymous letter writing -> murder.

We can all see how this progression could happen.

Update: I have been given the brush off by Juliet Bravo . It isn’t anything for the police to deal with but she will “note it”. She was interested in the misspelling of the lane though 🤔. She didn’t even ask to see the note...suggestive that she may have already seen it?????

Speak to pretend police Julia Bravo again and ask for a crime ref number as the letter contains a threat.
Shocking she didn't even want a copy.

Also ask her to write down her badge number or something so you can check her handwriting 💡

A threatening poison pen letter and illegal fly-tipping and Juliet Bravo says it's none of her business? What ther heck are you paying her for? Put in a complaint to the parish council about her attitude.

She was in the middle of a speed trap exercise when I saw her....but yes I was expecting something a bit more!

That's shocking. It is clearly threatening;

'..measures taken to make you think!..'
'..we are sure it does not need to get to that situation, you have 2 weeks..'

?!!??!

Now you are up the creek without a paddle.....all you have left is dick :)

This is an amazing thread. Watching with interest! And pop corn..

Of course it’s a bloody threat

Perhaps now is the time to contact the “real” police

Yeh I'd be saying bollocks to local Bobby and heading nearest big police station.

Juliet is definitely in on it and I would now contact the 'real' police. Loving this thread btw

So Julia Bravo has bare anything to do in two rural villages and she wasn't interested in this?!!!!
She's either in on it or just plain lazy!
Intriguing

Yep, I agree with drumanthebass contact the proper police and tell them every thing and that you have spoken to juliet bravo and you want it logged in case 'the villagers' do take it further as the letter states.

They are all in on it OP, barricade the door and sleep with the shotgun to hand ...

Thanks for saving my space and updating panpan think I might just have a glass of pimms in the garden now whilst I wait for next update, anyone care to join me ?

This is threat!!! Juliet Bravo should be taking notice of this!!

So Juliet Bravo is in the middle of speed trap exercise...more like eating a cornetto while watching old cop dramas downloaded from ITV3 on her tablet.

Do ye olde mumsnette cliche of calling 101 and logging it with them!

Seeing as you pay for your own bobby I think it is something she should be interested in.

If it were me I’d call the actual real police and ask them for advice/log it.