Oooo I received an anonymous letter this morning...from THE VILLAGERS 😬

[FlybirdFly]

Will post a pic later but need to redact info first.

An A4 page complaining about rubbish outside my house, that they’ve been picking it up for months, I have a responsibility to secure my rubbish and I have two weeks to get 2/3 wheelie bins or “measures will be taken”

It’s actually quite polite tbf if you ignore the subtle threat

Only problem is....it isn’t my fucking rubbish! We locked the gate to the field a few months ago and everyone now flytips outside the farm instead (by everyone I mean a few wankers) usually black bags that have missed the bin men/women. They use to chuck them on our farm bonfire but as the gate is locked they throw them on the bondary of my property. My rubbish is kept on my property until bin day.

Unfortunately they’ve missed all the signs saying we have CCTV so I’ll be having a look to see if I can see any pitchforks and angry villagers when I get back from the school run

Nooooo!
Dick is bound to be in on it.
He's walking straight into a trap!
There'll be the bobby's bloodstained pencil half hidden under Dick's sofa and now there's no one to call for help!
Poor cctv man

Dick is the font of all village knowledge !

That's his cover. And also the reason why he's been able to blackmail that poor youngster

Is his surname Van Dyke?

It is your rubbish once it's dumped on your land and your responsibility.

OP has explained it's NOT being dumped on her property.

It is being dumped on the road in the place where she is meant to put her rubbish out - hence people assuming it's hers, but at the same time she has zero responsibility for it.

Spelling test for the red van driver

Having lived in London my entire life this is fascinating. Better than The Archers

It's easy to make fun of the spelling and punctuation of the letter, but the final threat's about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the kneecaps and would make me quite nervy if I was living somewhere out of the way as it sounds like you are. Has your local bobby emerged from the creek yet?

Really interested to see how red van man got onto the farm as well. Maybe he knows how to disrupt your cameras!! (watching a bit too much of The Bridge lately)

I've just caught up with the photo of the letter.

Nice redaction, OP.
You actually had me chuckle at work.

Oh you have called on Dick therefore I can't help but ask if local bobby is named Jane?

It's definitely the CCTV man; Saga Norén told me... tack, tack

You need to upgrade the cctv .....

No her names Julia (just googled and found that out) can’t say I’ve spoken to her much

Only other clue is at 02.15 a car is parked outside the farm, headlights are the lights to the right of the screen but nobody walks onto the farm. Unless they used the light to hide in the darkness 🤔

Headlights are pointing right at rubbish area

Oooh Dick will get Christmas cards from the whole village so will deffo recognise the handwriting! Your mystery could be nearly solved OP!

All those little blue lines on the timeline are movement picked up by the camera

It will all be for the greater good...

Maybe it's the local bobby?

We all need a Dick in our lives...

Snort.

Wouldn't surprise me if the policewoman has been subject to
'measures' and it's made her think - hence she's fled
to the creek poor mare.

That's suspicious, surely?! What did they do - park for a while or just stop for a bit before moving off?

you know what puzzles me about this - I would have thought people who leave that type of letter would guess that it was fly tipping. They are clearly involved in the local area etc so I just thought that would occur to them.

could it be business rubbish btw? we are in London but having major issues with businesses leaving bagged rubbish in residential areas - I think the council are charging them more or something. No one here has spotted them leaving it in the night either - even though we are shift workers etc.

love that you watermarked the letter

I am tempted to put a sign up welcoming measures immediately - no need for a two week wait

That might flush them out

Car pulls in for 30 seconds and drives off

Not so unusual, is a village parking spot for horny teens and dog walkers usually

No village facebook page?
It's all happening on ours