Apparently, I'm Dead.

[BigFatFanny]

I woke up this morning and casually checked my facebook feed, to find 12 messages from people I haven't seen in years telling me to rest in peace and letting me know how missed I'll be.

At 5:30 in the morning as I rose bleary eyed, the thought did cross my mind that i had in fact died and if I had, did that mean I could go back to bed?

Alas, after a swift pinch test, it appears I"m very much alive.

Of course I've posted a status confirming I'm very much alive and called my family to confirm I'm fine, and I've sent a few messages to the people who posted on my feed to ask why on earth they thought I died? So far, no replies but the day is still young.

This is what I've got so far:

As far as I can tell with the exception of 3, I went to school with the majority of the mourners and haven't spoken to them in years. The working theories are:

Me: There's been some form of school reunion and someone has spread the rumour that I've died without realising half the people there have me on Facebook. Motive remains unexplained.

DH: Someone is plotting to kill me and is testing the waters to see how many people would miss me...

DF: It's the government. No further explanation required, apparently

DM: Bad taste practical joke

DSis: Aliens.

I'm hoping to get replies from the people I've messaged ASAP and trace the source of my untimely demise, but not having spoken to most of them in years I'm not sure how responsive they'll be.

The suspense is killing me! (excuse the pun )

There is going to fallout from that message

Well done OP. You are right. It needs to stop right now. She knows she has been caught out in a lie but will never admit it.

oh lordy she's certainly a coffin short of a wake isn't she!

Enjoy your death day. I'm planning a MASSIVE carnival for the Anniversary of your 'death' it's going to be an annual thing.

How did she expect to get away with that lie? Surely she realised that it would all come out when you turned up... y'know... alive?

Blimey. She sounds properly unhinged!

(I've had in my head all through this thread!)

This is the best thing I've ever read. OP, you win at MN today.

What a psycho! I'm interested to see what she'll reply!

Reading through this thread in a public place, trying desperately not to laugh out loud/have a little wee 😂

amazing reply OP, thats taking the drama to the drama llama if ever I saw it

Yep she's batshit alright.

I see threads by dead people.

God she sounds like she's still in year 9. "I NEVER SAID NUFFIN!"

Well this cheered me up today so thanks for that.
Sorry that your dead though, and that your dh cheated on you at 14 apparently....im sure it's all come as a massive shock.

I've read through the thread now - boring car journey home from a family holiday - and it's certainly cheered me up! But how bizarre is this woman, starting a rumour that you've died. Just as well you're alive and not likely to keel over suddenly otherwise she would be the chief suspect with the police.

I can see how she’d think she’d get away with it 2bh, we mix in very different circles and I fell into obscurity after sixth form when everyone went off to uni and such. I also work over an hour away from where we live and she probably underestimated how well known DH is around town because of the music stuff. She’d probably think my death wouldn’t be huge news to her circle, not realising half of them were friends with me on FB because of DH

Actually, after that shocking revelation re: Y9 I think your DH needs to really come up with the Valentine's Day goods tomorrow...

"She’d probably think my death wouldn’t be huge news to her circle"

So why did she bother to make it all up in the first place? Why were you even on her mind? It's weird.

It is a little bit unsettling as to why shed make it up. I mean, I hate to break it to you OP.... but I don't think she likes you very much

Oh God. A double whammy today. Not only do you find out are you dead but you also find out that your DH is an unfaithful bastard. It's a good job you are dead or he would need to be afraid of your reaction.

Screenshot
Post it on her page

She's a sad arse and everyone can have a good laugh

This is just hysterical :) you should send her a pic of DH in year 9 pre Nordic God phase

A triple whammy then applekate. She has also found out there is someone who doesn't like her much.

Life wouldn't be worth living anyway.

I predict a Sixth-Sense-anniversary-dinner style Valentine's meal for you and DH tomorrow. Feel free to turn up late. At least you'll know why he's ignoring you!

Out of interest have you been working with any traumatised, ghost seeing youngsters?

Is M0's current Facebook status 'I fake dead people?"

Disappointed to be so late to the Fwake party, but just wanted to suggest that news of your demise is - wait for it - Wake News . Sorry!

I'd get DH to send her an anonymous valentines card

Now that you're dead and all, and DH is officially a FB widow, you can't even LTB over his y9 indiscretions, cus you're..erm...dead.

Besides, poor sod has enough to deal with planning a fwake.