Apparently, I'm Dead.

[BigFatFanny]

I woke up this morning and casually checked my facebook feed, to find 12 messages from people I haven't seen in years telling me to rest in peace and letting me know how missed I'll be.

At 5:30 in the morning as I rose bleary eyed, the thought did cross my mind that i had in fact died and if I had, did that mean I could go back to bed?

Alas, after a swift pinch test, it appears I"m very much alive.

Of course I've posted a status confirming I'm very much alive and called my family to confirm I'm fine, and I've sent a few messages to the people who posted on my feed to ask why on earth they thought I died? So far, no replies but the day is still young.

This is what I've got so far:

As far as I can tell with the exception of 3, I went to school with the majority of the mourners and haven't spoken to them in years. The working theories are:

Me: There's been some form of school reunion and someone has spread the rumour that I've died without realising half the people there have me on Facebook. Motive remains unexplained.

DH: Someone is plotting to kill me and is testing the waters to see how many people would miss me...

DF: It's the government. No further explanation required, apparently

DM: Bad taste practical joke

DSis: Aliens.

I'm hoping to get replies from the people I've messaged ASAP and trace the source of my untimely demise, but not having spoken to most of them in years I'm not sure how responsive they'll be.

The suspense is killing me! (excuse the pun )

I'm glad you're not dead, I think I might love you a little bit ...

This bit about your DH changing his status to widowed and your mum liking it has made me snort diet irn bru out my nose! I'm so glad you're not dead.

Best thread ever!

LOL!Let us know how she responds.

There have been so many 'winner of the internet' comments on this thread....

Absolutely corking.

Stay well, OP.

pickle completely agree, you lot are bloody brilliant

Put a crying smiley face on your facebook status. Wait for the first 10 or so "R U ok hun? x" posts.
Then post "Life's a bitch"
After a further 15 or so "What's happened luv?" posts
post "I've only gone and died".

after doing some digging

Claw your way out of that!

Seriously though OP I would be rather concerned that the only people posting condolences were a handful of old school friends - where were all the funny pictures, dedicated RIP Facebook page - gofund me for funeral costs page?

You need to tell the people in your life to buck their ideas up as quite frankly your death has been a little disappointing

Is the mourner who triggered the rumour going to be DW 2.0?

Happy Death Day OP!

Has nobody set up a Go Fund me for your wake?

Let us know how M0 responds. If she does.

As a PP said, had I not been at a girls' school, I'd think I might have gone to school with M0 too. Really quite alarming how many of them seem to be out there. (In fact, had more than one in my year at school, never mind school as a whole. Big school, but even so...)

Sadly the reported death of my former classmate last week was very real. And no sign of her on here, though I think she'd be on NM given the choice.

Despite the above (which is horrendous in number of ways) found this bloody funny & think the fwake/awake = Genius. There's no way this was An Innocent Mistake. She dramatically overestimated the degrees of separation & got caught out as a result. This time nothing drastic resulted, another time her nonsense could see someone really distressed. Or, depending on the lie she tells, physically hurt. Fwake (ie, being confronted with outcome of her lie) might make her think twice before she drags someone else into her fantastic tales. Would certainly be good craic...

This has been such a funny thread.

And th thread juxtaposition in 'Trending' was fab.

Your thread - 'Apparently I'm dead' followed by ''Its not the end of th world'! 😂😂😂

autumn I was slightly offended if I’m completely honest. Not a single obscure early 2000’s grainy photo of me with my arm around anyone was posted.

There was a bit of ‘I remember in school when....’ and even a ‘I’m so sad that we lost touch all those years ago...’, but not a sausage from my actual friends and family

Since I posted my Mark Twain quote, the first comment on it was from one of our good friends saying ‘I’m not sure if you’re actually not dead, or you are and this is DH’s idea of funny. Either way, condolences’... he knows us so well

Now you can also have a Deathday Party every year as well as a Birthday Party.

We will all come.

OP, thanks for entertaining me while I'm trying to get sprog 2 to sleep

The hardest thing in life to bare
Is too want BigFatFanny when she's not their

RIP your with the angles now

Is this not a very merry undeath day to you all?

Wow. M0 sounds like a cunt

@BigFatFanny

You are your DH sound HILARIOUS!

RIP hahahah

haha has M0 answered you? and I wanna come to your wake.

Put this picture as your profile pic

Have just cried with laughter reading this while thread!

So many funny bits but loved

"I can't have died that weekend I was at centre parcs"

And

"Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday make sure you're not cremated by mistake"

😂😂😂😂

pumpersnatch. So what? It’s not your website, it doesn’t matter one bit whether you find it funny or not. Completely irrelevant.