Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Apparently, I'm Dead.

999 replies

BigFatFanny · 13/02/2018 08:21

I woke up this morning and casually checked my facebook feed, to find 12 messages from people I haven't seen in years telling me to rest in peace and letting me know how missed I'll be.

At 5:30 in the morning as I rose bleary eyed, the thought did cross my mind that i had in fact died and if I had, did that mean I could go back to bed?

Alas, after a swift pinch test, it appears I"m very much alive.

Of course I've posted a status confirming I'm very much alive and called my family to confirm I'm fine, and I've sent a few messages to the people who posted on my feed to ask why on earth they thought I died? So far, no replies but the day is still young.

This is what I've got so far:

As far as I can tell with the exception of 3, I went to school with the majority of the mourners and haven't spoken to them in years. The working theories are:

Me: There's been some form of school reunion and someone has spread the rumour that I've died without realising half the people there have me on Facebook. Motive remains unexplained.

DH: Someone is plotting to kill me and is testing the waters to see how many people would miss me...

DF: It's the government. No further explanation required, apparently Hmm

DM: Bad taste practical joke

DSis: Aliens.

I'm hoping to get replies from the people I've messaged ASAP and trace the source of my untimely demise, but not having spoken to most of them in years I'm not sure how responsive they'll be.

The suspense is killing me! (excuse the pun Blush)

OP posts:
SavvyBlancBlonde · 13/02/2018 11:02

Trouble is, all M1 onwards would have messaged dramalama m0 basically saying WTAF!

But I do agree, invite her over on Friday night, get the band to play some mournful music whilst their significant others wail “but it was her favourite”, then come out in a white sheet behind her yelling Boo!

FrozenMargarita17 · 13/02/2018 11:04

My mum once got a letter from HMRC stating that she was deceased!She called them and they were incredibly embarrassed. No idea how it came about !

Anymajordude · 13/02/2018 11:05

I'm just really glad you can Mumsnet from the afterlife. It's a relief to know I can be advised to book a spa day to solve any problems death might throw at me, you know, if the flames are getting a bit hot or something.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 13/02/2018 11:05

Would this be classed as a dead thread?

ChasedByBees · 13/02/2018 11:06

I would want to call her out on it. It’s a really weird malicious thing to do.

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 13/02/2018 11:08

So have you not posted anything on Facebook since before Friday night if m1 thought you does then? That was lucky otherwise m0 story would of been blown.

Agerbilatemycardigan · 13/02/2018 11:08

Sorry for your loss OP 😉

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 13/02/2018 11:09

*died

CatRen27 · 13/02/2018 11:09

I love this thread. Op you should definitely haunt M0 without delay.

Not death related but an acquaintance of dh went through a period of lying to my friends about us - gloating that she came to our wedding (she didn't, and listener was a bridesmaid); and when i was still preggers she told people (including bridesmaid friend) that I'd given birth and it was a boy (we had a girl a week later). It was so odd and we don't know whether she honed in on us for some reason or if she lied like this about all her acquaintances.. she did it in a way that it was 100% likely she'd get found out.. people are so bloody mad

Oh and deepest condolences op

AlpacaLypse · 13/02/2018 11:09

It's a difficult one isn't it? On one level this is very very funny and has given several hundred mnetters a highly entertaining morning. On the other hand it could have been incredibly upsetting. MO is obviously bonkers, not in a good way, would somehow calling her in about this just feed her bonkers-ness or might it be a wake up call to get her compulsive lying/attention seeking problem sorted out?

DeadButDelicious · 13/02/2018 11:10

Shameless place marking.

WeAreEternal · 13/02/2018 11:10

Thank you BFF this thread has made my morning. Grin

falsepriest · 13/02/2018 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Slartybartfast · 13/02/2018 11:11

good to know you were mist op

NoKnownFather · 13/02/2018 11:12

Gosh, this thread really took off!! BFF let me know the details for the wake so I can attend. We can be mist together.....hahaha!!

Gemini69 · 13/02/2018 11:15

omg.. what a fright OP Flowers

thank goodness your not in fact dead.. Mumsnet needs you Grin

have a nice day .... I'm sure you will treasure things a little bit more today Flowers

StellaHeyStella · 13/02/2018 11:15

Once a financial institution decides you are dead it's remarkably hard to prove you aren't!

I used to underwrite for a cc company and frequently had dead customers ringing up complaining they weren't actually dead.
If the computer says you're dead, you're dead, now run along.
It was a right kerfuffle to resurrect them if they wouldn't bloody well roll over and stay dead.

ohfourfoxache · 13/02/2018 11:22

WTAF? Shock

I don’t get it, surely she’d know she’d be found out eventually?

iknowimcoming · 13/02/2018 11:25

One of my neighbours started a rumour I had died a few years back as they 'hadn't seen me around for ages' Hmm I was on holiday, with dh, and the dc, for a fortnight! When I asked how come they hadn't noticed dh and the dc were missing too - they had no answer. Hmm

dontquotemeondailymail · 13/02/2018 11:27

Well OP can I just say that you're a proper CF!
How selfish to pop your clogs the same week as Valentine's Day; the cost of flowers is at its peak FFS. You should have considered others before you died.

Original poster
BigFatFanny · 13/02/2018 11:27

So DH knows the Landlady at the pub in question through local gigs, he's played there for years on and off. His dastardly plan is to offer landlady a free gig in return for her putting on a bit of food and creating a fakewake, a fwake as he's started calling it Hmm

We'll get our families there as a good excuse for a knees up and ask them all to dress in black, then take photos throughout the Fwake and post them all over facebook. The last photo will be of me holding a golden frame around my head so I look like those giant photo's of the deceased Americans put by the coffins, standing next to a lot of flowers with a caption of "in loving memory"...

Im sooo tempted.

OP posts:
DownstairsMixUp · 13/02/2018 11:27

Rip Hun fly high with the angels xxx

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 13/02/2018 11:28

Loving you OP

Gemini69 · 13/02/2018 11:29

Well OP can I just say that you're a proper CF
How selfish to pop your clogs the same week as Valentine's Day; the cost of flowers is at its peak FFS. You should have considered others before you died

haaaahahaaaa Brilliant.... Flowers

alotalotalot · 13/02/2018 11:30

It's as good an excuse for a knees up, as you'll get. Why not.