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Original poster

Apparently, I'm Dead.

999 replies

BigFatFanny · 13/02/2018 08:21

I woke up this morning and casually checked my facebook feed, to find 12 messages from people I haven't seen in years telling me to rest in peace and letting me know how missed I'll be.

At 5:30 in the morning as I rose bleary eyed, the thought did cross my mind that i had in fact died and if I had, did that mean I could go back to bed?

Alas, after a swift pinch test, it appears I"m very much alive.

Of course I've posted a status confirming I'm very much alive and called my family to confirm I'm fine, and I've sent a few messages to the people who posted on my feed to ask why on earth they thought I died? So far, no replies but the day is still young.

This is what I've got so far:

As far as I can tell with the exception of 3, I went to school with the majority of the mourners and haven't spoken to them in years. The working theories are:

Me: There's been some form of school reunion and someone has spread the rumour that I've died without realising half the people there have me on Facebook. Motive remains unexplained.

DH: Someone is plotting to kill me and is testing the waters to see how many people would miss me...

DF: It's the government. No further explanation required, apparently Hmm

DM: Bad taste practical joke

DSis: Aliens.

I'm hoping to get replies from the people I've messaged ASAP and trace the source of my untimely demise, but not having spoken to most of them in years I'm not sure how responsive they'll be.

The suspense is killing me! (excuse the pun Blush)

OP posts:
KeepServingTheDrinks · 13/02/2018 10:15

I'd treat it as a practice run. It pays to be prepared!

OnNaturesCourse · 13/02/2018 10:16

Shamelessly posting here to find out the outcome!!

RIP OP xx

Snowysky20009 · 13/02/2018 10:16

BifsWif8 Grin am crying at that!! OP you shouldn't have posted you were alive that would have been so funny!!!!

movinonup · 13/02/2018 10:16

I am doubled over laughing at your DH.........'She always loved a cup of tea'

Rubies12345 · 13/02/2018 10:17

Do you think unknownname fancies your husband?Grin

SillyMoomin · 13/02/2018 10:17

cheered up my morning, thanks OP! Wishing you luck with M0!

MooMummy12 · 13/02/2018 10:17

This is by far the best post I've ever seen on Mumsnet 😂

It's a good job I'm on my own because I've been laughing my head off! (Maybe I'll be joining you in the afterlife if it comes off 🙈)

I hope you find out how you died though! I'm very intrigued 😇

KeepServingTheDrinks · 13/02/2018 10:18

Plus, you've got a great response ready next time you get a "have you been mis-sold PPI?" phone call!

spiderlight · 13/02/2018 10:18

If you died in an accident that wasn't your fault, you might be entitled to compensation.

Original poster
BigFatFanny · 13/02/2018 10:18

Oh I love my friends. DH is in a band and they all come over every single Friday with their significant others so we end up with a house full of buddies. Everyone brings a bottle of wine and some food, It's lovely.

Drummer just messaged our group chat with 'So is the wake on Friday BYOB or are you splashing out with the insurance pay out DH?' Grin

OP posts:
MooMummy12 · 13/02/2018 10:18

@movinonup it got me too! 😂

ViceAdmiralAmilynHoldo · 13/02/2018 10:19

Ah, you're just in The Good Life @BigFatFanny. Sorry to hear of your passing hun.

ViceAdmiralAmilynHoldo · 13/02/2018 10:19

The Good PLACE I mean Blush.

TalkinBoutWhat · 13/02/2018 10:20

I must say, death looks very becoming on you, OP!!

TheSassyAssassin · 13/02/2018 10:20

I'm free Fri night and would be honoured to come to your wake and celebrate your life with insurance wine Grin

GrapesAreMyJam · 13/02/2018 10:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
BigFatFanny · 13/02/2018 10:21

DH's reply to drummer:

'Can't make it Friday, Mrs DH 2.0 is moving in that day'

He's going to get so bloody haunted....

OP posts:
falsepriest · 13/02/2018 10:23

Who are you with a DH who keeps bringing you mugs of tea? Where do I get one of those? TELL ME YOUR SECRETS!

Snowysky20009 · 13/02/2018 10:24

Ah there's your clue- DH STARTED the rumour to move Mrs DH 2.0 in!!!

TheSassyAssassin · 13/02/2018 10:24

Wow...bold move on DH's part ....think he might have just signed his own death warrant there....I suspect more FB status updates / wall posting activity tomorrow ShockWink

Comealongpond89 · 13/02/2018 10:24

That's it! DH did it for the insurance. And ? is the hitman. Are you sure there wasn't anything extra in your tea? cyanide

52FestiveRoad · 13/02/2018 10:25

I'm a staunch atheist I'm afraid, That is a shame, I was going to ask you about God. And is there a big wall in heaven separating the Catholics? And are the pearly gates really pearly?

Has your DH actually responded directly to you this morning, or is he actually pouring out his grief because, er, you actually are dead but you just have not 'passed over' to the other side yet? Maybe you can see him but he can't see you? Like that film The Sixth Sense.

MadeleineMaxwell · 13/02/2018 10:26

You need to do a Jen from The IT Crowd and show up outside M0's house in the rain, looking ominous and shouting soundlessly Grin

88mph · 13/02/2018 10:26

You and your DH sound like my kind of people Grin

What a post to wake up to! Even funnier that the one girl deletes her sad post and doesn't even talk to you, she's more upset she lost the perfect "u ok hun" moment than relieved you're actually alive!

Having said that, you definitely need to take advantage of this dead thing. Your dying wish was to be buried with all the beer and all the chocolate, right?

MissMisery · 13/02/2018 10:27

"Rumours of your death have been greatly exaggerated"
Grin