There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine.

[AManWalksIntoABarOuch]

100% certain dh is not having an affair so who does the lipstick belong to and how on earth will I get it out of the washing as the lid has come off (presumably in the machine) and I'm guessing it will be all over it now. Luckily it was a dark wash. I've stopped the washing machine and put it on drain.

@mamasiz Google 'dermoid cyst'. They're often teeth or hair, or both!

My dh went on a free optional business trip (which involved skiing and drinking) leaving me with the 4 kids - this is relevant to the thread - well tbh any subject matter would be on this thread. Wouldn't have minded too much but before he left early morning the bugger sat on the side of the bed and clipped his toe nails, leaving them on the floor. I said goodbye and went asleep again. Woke and went to bathroom, stood on the evil toe nails, two of which entered the sole of my right foot and for the life of me I couldn't get them out. Limped all day, went to work, cursing husband, who by that time was skiing oblivious to the pain I was in. Limped for a week or so feeling a right banana when I had to explain why. It took a fortnight to get an appointment by which time it didn't hurt anymore. Cancelled appointment. Two years later I got a verucca there. Removed by podiatrist who commented that he had found lots of foreign matter under the skin! Two bloody years I had walked around with dh's toe nails in my foot!

Fruitbat Can’t stop laughing at the onion bhaji!

I failed to correctly follow the instructions when we were making plastics in chemistry class in 1987. My test tube exploded and two bits of test tube and plastic debris embedded themselves in my hand, where they remained as hard little lumps for the following twenty years before randomly emerging when I was soaking in a hot tub in New Zealand.

I want this thread to never end.

Last year I felt a sharp pain and thought I had got a splinter in my foot. Couldn’t walk, couldn’t drive, couldn’t get anything out of the tiny hole even with tweezers. But I could feel something in there.

Very embarrassed and apologetic I went to local Walk In, and they dug around for ages before managing to pull out a shard of glass the size of my finger nail.

Nurse was very impressed as the original hole had been much smaller than what she pulled out.

You know, my contribution just couldn't match the teeth it sea shell so I'll bow out now...

Clankboing - that made me feel queasy.

Ok the person with the teeth in the washing machine wins the thread.

The kid with the sea snail in their knee.....how did it get there?? They gave no clue.

Op Could he have bought you it as a stocking filler and forgot?

My hairdresser once had someone else's hair growing inside their ear.

Thread of the year!

Wacadu I had that after an appendix op too! I was 14. Kickstarted my sporn habit that did. Ah, great memory

Someone else’s hair actually growing inside their ear?!?! How does that even work?!? Like an autonomous follicle transplant?!????

Surely this needs to move to Classics.

ok, I fist glanced at this thread when their was a lipstick in the washing machine. I skipped to last page and now its all ingrown body parts and grossness. I'm going to have to RTFT now!

I had a huge and painful blackhead on the side of my neck once, squeezed it over a few days but couldn't get anything out. Stuck some numbing gel left over from my train track braces on it one day and had a good root around. Out came a perfect little round ball of metal. About the size of one of those foam balls you get in bean bags. No idea.

DH had a car accident 7 years ago and we still pull bits of car and glass out of him.

This is the best thread! Machine washing cat's testicles, 😂

Ohhhh this is a brilliant thread and I'm coming back to read it all when I'm feet up with a plate of cheese and a glass of mead tonight.

Lady lead shot or aggressive cake?

Devoted disciple of Sandra Lee here. I can watch her stab cysts etc aaaallll daaaaaay.

What the fuck did I just read?

I thought Sandra Lee wrote some weird cook books?

Classics here we come. Ha ha.

This thread is the MN equivalent of moments that change the course of history. Shitload’s washing machine teeth and TroubledTribble’s embedded shell posts dramatically changed the direction on this thread.

@CanIBuffalo the only thing I can think of is that a few years previously I'd been on a young farmers trip to a forge. Maybe a hot bit of metal got onto my neck? I dunno!

When I was 17yo I woke up one morning with my foot in agony. I could see what looked like long splinters in my foot but couldn’t pull them out. Went to a&e, ended up having to have my whole foot anaesthetised and it took them about an hour to remove all the lengthy bits of very thin metal wire that was in my foot. My skin wasn’t actually broken though, so no idea how it got there. No previous surgery or foot accidents I can think of.

I do wonder if OP made to the Relationship board for some expert advice.