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Original poster

There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine.

698 replies

AManWalksIntoABarOuch · 23/12/2017 15:34

100% certain dh is not having an affair so who does the lipstick belong to and how on earth will I get it out of the washing as the lid has come off (presumably in the machine) and I'm guessing it will be all over it now. Luckily it was a dark wash. I've stopped the washing machine and put it on drain.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Motherwell91 · 25/12/2017 01:48

Following with amusement

TroubledTribble28 · 25/12/2017 01:53

Enid Just to be clear, after already finding a seashell, a common garden pea and some cheap plastic beads in my humble person you want me to now deliberately get my lobes pierced in the hope that I will grow membranes over said piercings? Sounds reasonable Grin

GwenStaceyRocks · 25/12/2017 01:53

I read the OP and wondered how it had reached so many pages so quickly . . .never would I have guessed that it involved seashells and body parts Grin

DonkeyOil · 25/12/2017 01:56

I feel quite queasy now, but in a good way...... Xmas Grin

i washed the testicles in the washing machine

Of all the many weird and unlikely sentences on this thread, I think the above is my winner!

Seeingadistance · 25/12/2017 01:57

When my DS was 9 he was at the hospital for some appointment or other, which lasted ages, and at the very end of his examination the doctor looked in his ears. She did a double take, then asked me if he'd ever had grommets. Nope! She looked again and said, there's a round thing in there. DS then said casually, "oh, that'll be a hama bead!" "A hama bead!!!" says I. "Yes, in P1 I got bored in assembly and I would pick little things off the floor and put them in my ears and take them back out again".

ENT staff were all away by this time so he had to get another appointment - I had to write a letter to the school to explain his absence.

It was an orange hama bead. It had been in his ear for about 4 years, and was covered in ear wax.

His hearing improved with its removal.

EnidButton · 25/12/2017 01:59

Yes please Troubled and possibly a small pendant too if that's ok? Grin

BrokenBattleDroid · 25/12/2017 02:00

What an unexpected and wonderful find this thread was!

OP - perhaps you should start a second thread about your lipstick as this will never get back on track!

I had a small area on the sole of my foot that would occasionally hurt when I jumped or ran hurt, it had been going on for years and I had just got used to it. Then one day when I was trampolining there was a sharp crescendo of the same sort pain, followed by a strange sensation of something exiting my foot. I took off my sock and found a shard of glass and a small hole. I was very excited but nobody believed it come from my foot. I feel vindicated at last!

RebeccaBunch · 25/12/2017 02:12

I can't sleep - what about the lipstick?

IAmLucy · 25/12/2017 02:43

You are all disgusting Grin Furiously checking myself for left over non body matter from years ago. Fucking awful (shudder)

thiskittenbarks · 25/12/2017 02:44

I love the amazingly gross turn this thread has taken. DP has some lumps on his head that are definitely getting a squeeze for Christmas. I'm not even sure if I can wait till he wakes up....

Goodwill2Mandatorymongoosekind · 25/12/2017 02:52

My Dad has various bits of grit still imbeded in his knee from a cycling accident - about 40 years ago.

TammySwansonTwo · 25/12/2017 03:14

I've been in tears all night missing my mum, now up with my sleep allergic twins feeling glum, and this has cheered me right up.

This is slightly different as no mystery involved but it is still weird...

When I was 18 I fell through a bathroom sink and cut my arm down to the bone, about 2/3 of the way round my arm diagonally. The repair took hours (while I was awake, still no idea why!) and the doctor told me there were about 30-40 visible stitches that needed to be removed, and the same again for internal stitches that would dissolve.

Two years later, I noticed a white dot in the scar - rubbed at it a bit and a piece of thread appeared but was stuck. Had to really tug it out with tweezers after it sat there for weeks. Over the next few years, more than 30 stitches were rejected out of my scar.

LinoleumBlownapart · 25/12/2017 03:24

When I met my DH he had a piece of a bullet in his hand. Apparently his cousin was shooting and missed. He had it taken out after we got married.
DS aged 5 recently had a quail egg shell removed from his ear. Most kids put Lego in their ears but my kid has to be poncy.
Recently my mum was complaining that she had a thorn or glass in her foot, she said she felt it when she'd stepped on it. I could see something that looked like a thorn so I dug it with a needle, out came a curled up hair Confused.

BattleCunt · 25/12/2017 04:21

Right so we have a thread about wiping, and now a thread about lipstick, underskin seashells and TEETH.

Standard.

LostInTheTunnelOfGoats · 25/12/2017 05:15

This is the best thread ever

Harvestmoonsobig · 25/12/2017 05:59

Turning into a Sporner’s delight.

BangAndTheDirtyScone · 25/12/2017 06:01

I'm now troubled by how many kids get stabbed by pencils tbh

threehoursin · 25/12/2017 06:13

This thread is INCREDIBLE

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 25/12/2017 06:26

I read this in the wee hours and returned to wonder if it was all a dream. Turns out not!

I once had a round, large, very hard lump of ear wax pop out of my ear, but that's pedestrian compared to these! It was black though, for extra points.

LEMtheoriginal · 25/12/2017 06:35

My offering is a massive (it's relative) feather in my ear after weeks of earache and a visit to the nurse (missed it).

exLtEveDallas · 25/12/2017 07:15

When I was 8 I had a lump appear on the bottom of my foot. The pain was awful, I hopped all the way home from school. Mum took me to the docs who said it was a cyst that I could have removed at a hospital outpatients appt a couple of days later.

Went for the appt, but after a short while the doc said "There seems to be something stuck in your foot that I can't get to, we'll have to remove it under GA". They booked me in overnight for the op the next morning.

In the end the op took an hour, and they removed 3 shards of glass from my foot! The largest was about 3cm long. Absolutely no idea where they came from. The bottom of my foot was mess after; 3 large scars that took ages to heal. I'd love to know how they got there (or at least how I missed it at the time!)

Wacadu · 25/12/2017 07:25

Had my appendix removed when I was 11. Dissolvable stitches. I was sitting in the bath and i picked a wee scab at the side of my scar. It came off but was attached to a length of thick white string. I pulled it out. Was about 6 inches long. Quite satisfying really

BeyondAssignation · 25/12/2017 07:33

My nan was glassed on her arm when she was younger. For years and years, she had tiny grains of glass work their way out of her fingertips.

Back to the lipstick, have you washed something that you haven't worn for ages, and just forgotten that you owned It?

Floellabumbags · 25/12/2017 07:47

TammySwansonTwo

Awesome. Were you peeing in the sink?

BeyondAssignation
That's like a superpower.
DS fell through a shower screen a couple of years ago. Hopefully something will emerge ...

ifigoup · 25/12/2017 07:48

Roughly every three years my husband pulls out a "dissolvable" stitch from an operation he had when he was 2. He's now 36.

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