There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine.

[AManWalksIntoABarOuch]

100% certain dh is not having an affair so who does the lipstick belong to and how on earth will I get it out of the washing as the lid has come off (presumably in the machine) and I'm guessing it will be all over it now. Luckily it was a dark wash. I've stopped the washing machine and put it on drain.

Ewww

My sister once blew her nose and a full apple stalk came out if one nostril!! 😂 🍎

My colleague once discovered the onion bhaji in the staff canteen was in fact and screwed up deep fried and marinaded rubber glove.

BadHusky that's awful!
Crafty was it awkward?!?
Wally was your brother Bill or Ben?
It was only one pea (I put it there, stupid child) but my older siblings had to confess to my mum that they had stashed the beads when I was asleep, because I snored (hence the need for tonsil removal)

I suddenly had a very sore leg and a pus spot appeared.. so I squeezed and a 2" splinter came out.
After a lot of though...I remembered I had. Splinter there 25 years before..it must have broken off and this was the reminded of it.
Sorry..nothing washing machine related!

CanIBuffalo

badbadhusky

I can show you a picture of his weird thorny belly if you'd like

Best thread ever.

I want a weird thing!!

My dog once ate a blue biro. The plastic shards must have pierced the skin of her tongue because from then on she had a blue tattoo on her tongue the shape of the map of the UK. It only appeared when she was very hot and panting.

I love this thread!

I've been feeling really down tonight for one reason or another. This thread has cheered me right up lol

Not sure this is the same but I got my ears pierced when I was around 4. My skin kind of absorbed the studs and grew over the top of them and they disappeared. I had to get them removed at the hospital.

I got them pierced again when I was about 8 and the exact same thing happened.

I broke my nose at 17 and the faint bruising never properly went away. Until I was 25 and one day it looked darker than normal...i gave the pores a squeeze and out popped all this old dried blood individually, from each tiny pore. After a very satisfying morning, I had no bruise left.

No bumps here, but when I was 14 I once woke up in bed, in just my underwear with grass clippings on my feet. My nightie was on the floor of my bedroom, damp with dew . Not. A. Clue.

This thread is the best Xmas present ever

Started reading this when I got into bed after a manic day. It's such a surreal thread I'm questioning myself if I'm imagining it with exhaustion. I'm mostly commenting so I can check it's in my threads I'm on in the morning

Waffles - both dd and I had to have the backs of our earrings removed by medical professionals. Thirty years apart, our ears swallowed jewellery.

InglouriousBasterd

That's poetry.

Rebecca thats terrifying, don't watch Pet Semetary ffs

Best thread ever. Possibly best Christmas ever.*
*
This has to go in Classics.

This is AMAZING. Though Daily Fail will definitely steal it.

Ooh, I’ve got a little blue dot tattoo on my thumb from a pencil stabbing as a child, it never occurred to me there might be an actual bit of pencil in there still. How exciting.

On the lipstick in washing machine - easy enough to get out just wash everything again. I did this but didn’t realise until I was at work and suddenly noticed my usually plain dark green top actually had dark purple/berry coloured smudges all over it. It kinda worked, actually.

I seriously doubt affair. How would he end up with a lipstick in his pocket from an affair.

Thankyou MN for the light relief. Much needed tonight!

Following with amusement

Following with amusement