There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine.

[AManWalksIntoABarOuch]

100% certain dh is not having an affair so who does the lipstick belong to and how on earth will I get it out of the washing as the lid has come off (presumably in the machine) and I'm guessing it will be all over it now. Luckily it was a dark wash. I've stopped the washing machine and put it on drain.

wow

Just checked my knees and elbows for any promising lumps. Found nothing. Now eyeing up my DP’s in hope of finding hidden treasure.

Not sure this really qualifies but seems in the right spirit...

Our Ddog went nuts in front of our neighbors flower box one day, jumped in and started digging into it. We were apologizing profusely and dragging him out when he unearthed a teensy red silk thong!

I thought it was ok to share odd items found on your person

...and we're glad you did.

Just checked my knees and elbows
What about your head, shoulders and toes?
Eyes, ears, mouth, nose?

This thread…
Cue the Twilight Zone music -
The best I can offer is a shard of glass in my foot that was there about a month. I trod on broken glass, DH cleaned it up and assured me he'd got it all. Wrong.
Can't help with the lipstick though op. I've never found anything odd in my washing machine, I feel like I've been missing out.

Having been on mumsnet for several years, I can usually predict the course that most threads will take.

Not this one.

DH has really weird lumps on the back of his head.

I'm hoping for Caravaggio's Nativity, it being Christmas and all.

And there I was thinking I was the only person who’d had bread thrown at them by a bird! It felt incredibly backwards
Nature - I too have a lump on my arm that I am now looking at in a new light. I want to know if there’s treasure in there!

I had a rose thorn in my nose for god knows how long it started working it's way out while I was at work. It was a cm long!

There is also this tale of baby who had a feather come out of his neck.

Am I dreaming this thread?

I regularly "found" small pieces of windscreen in my cleavage for over five years after a car accident I was in. They were embedded under the skin and gradually, one by one, would appear at the surface in a lump that I would poke about at until the glass came out.
They'd leave quite a hole for a while before it healed...but bizarrely there was never any blood. At least I knew how they'd got there though!

As a child, I fell off my bike lots. Had fun using a needle to get the gravel out of my knees.

I stabbed myself with a sharp pencil in primary. There was a blue stain for ages, nothing ever came out. I feel deprived.

I stepped on broken glass when someone broke a window in the flat one day (threw a brick in) and felt it grating for days. ‘Twas agony! I used a very big needle to get the two bits out.

I told the DH one day that I had a dog hair stuck growing into my foot. He scoffed at me (!!) so I gave him tweezers and asked him to yank it out once I’d softened it in the bath. He was appalled at the length of it and how far in it had gone. Haven’t had one for ages, used to get loads.

Oooh, I forgot about my one. Large splinter from the floorboards went into my calloused heel. Couldn't see a thing for days, though it started hurting worse and worse. I was sitting in the garden one day and decided to give it a squeeze and a 2-3cm long splinter came out along with some pus. The pain went instantly.

I was once getting ready for a shower when I found a hard lump underneath my armpit, down my side. I felt around it and saw something poking out. I pinched it and pulled and a massive jagged splinter about 5 cm long slid out. Absolutely rank! No bloody clue how it had got there or where it came from to this day!

This is the best and most surreal thread I have ever read.

Also, my nana once had s chocolate cyst removed. Inside was a tooth and some hair 🤮

I have a line of little black stones on my hip just below the skin. Childhood cycling accident, my hip was scraped along a wall and I guess nobody cleaned it before sticking a plaster on. I'm quite fond of them.

Also found a small pile of sand in the toilet one evening. No idea where that came from. No beach nearby or DC at the time, and it definitely hadn't been there the last time I used the loo.

Somebody's dropped the lipstick and it's been bundled up with washing I reckon, like when my phone went missing for ages and was eventually found in the wash basket.

BIL had a grass seed that germinated in his ear.

I find all kinds of exciting things in my washing machine (a watch for example, that I'm fairly sure was dead before its bath) as my toddler likes to stash things in his pockets and I forget to check, nursery thievery results in the most interesting finds (all things intended for them to play with and I return them shiny and clean!)
I will have to check his person for anything stashed under the skin... Hmm

I'd always been told that you can't polish a turd, and here you lot are putting them in the washing machine!

Shouldn't they just dissolve? What the hell have you been eating?

A Lego man, Lego axe, Lego space thing and 1p but then I have a 5 yo boy!!

I squeezed a bit of pebble dash out of my forehead once!

My dad had a bit of an accident with a rusty saw and cut his arm. He got a sewing needle to poke around in the wound and try and get the rusty bit of saw out. In the process he dropped the needle in the wound and couldn't get it out. Had to go to a&e for an X-ray and was told it was too close to the bone to remove safely and was left in there. A few weeks later he felt something sharp sticking out of the other side of his arm and pulled out the needle that he'd dropped in weeks earlier.

From my washing machine I might add, although I'd be pretty impressed if a Lego man came out my knee!