There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine.

[AManWalksIntoABarOuch]

100% certain dh is not having an affair so who does the lipstick belong to and how on earth will I get it out of the washing as the lid has come off (presumably in the machine) and I'm guessing it will be all over it now. Luckily it was a dark wash. I've stopped the washing machine and put it on drain.

[Aridane]

Normally this type of thread would quickly leap to hack his email / social media, spidey senses, get your ducks in a row, and LTB. I much prefer the route this has taken.

[KingPrawnOkay]

Someone threw a sharp pencil across the classroom when I was little, it went through my shoe, into my foot and snapped off. I now have a visible cm or so of pencil lead just under the skin in my foot that I’ve never been able to get out.

[PavlovaPlease]

DS thought he had a grain of rice stuck in his foot but it was a kitten's tooth

[FuzzyCustard]

A piece of glass worked its way out of my thumb this year. Only one place it could have come from, a greenhouse injury 28 years ago. Have I been harbouring glass in me that long? and is there any more in there?

[foxessocks]

Omg. This thread is properly bonkers! Nothing like this has ever happened to me!

[TheSquashyHatOfMrGnosspelius]

I've got a piece of hawthorn in my right thumb that has been there five years plus. It is gradually working it's way to the surface but I might burn down to it with salicylic acid once it gets close enough to get to it that way.

[JellyBert]

But who’s lipstick is it??

[IrkThePurist]

FuzzyCustard A friend of mine was in a really bad car accident 20 years ago and can occasionally pull a lump of windscreen glass out of his scalp.

[Gemini69]

OMG Teeth AND Lipstick in the same wash ???? what the hell has he been doing ?

[Gazelda]

I've had a random lump I'm on my thigh for about a decade. I assumed it was a mutant dormant bite.
I'm tempted to squeeze it hard in the hope that something amazing will pop out. Maybe a pickled onion, or a diamond, or a pixie?

[Psychobabble123]

As a certified sporner, I am LOVING this thread!!

[ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory]

This thread is hilarious!

[Bobbins43]

This thread just gets better. I can't believe no one has picked up on the poo yet

[AntiHop]

I once woke up to find a mosquito in my ear. That's nothing compared to some of the stories above though

[Flyinglemur]

I once found a piece of pizza in our fire place. With a couple of bites taken out of it. No idea how on earth it got there.

[mercurymaze]

omg that cyst

[Grammarist]

I've got pencil lead embedded in my face from where another child stabbed me!

[ElsieMay123]

KingPrawnOkay snap! A little horror in my primary class stabbed me with a pencil and +30 years later I have a blue freckle of pencil lead embedded in my arm. Never tried to get it out, hoping it's not slowly killing me being as it's not for reals lead....

Re washing machine - have opposite problem, half the socks disappear every wash.

[Littleraincloud]

I thought I was weird for pulling out a splinter I'd thought all my life to be a scar

[Littleraincloud]

I've found a poo in my tumble dryer once too. Ds poo d his pants. I missed it. Got laundered to a smelly little pebble

[Nottheduchessofcambridge]

I would love to find any of the above things to squeeze out of a limb! How cool would that be, most I get is an ingrown hair ☹️

[thenettyprofessor]

working at the vets after a castration the contents of surgical cloths are usually disposed of and cleaned and sterilised. After a particularly long shift i washed the testicles in the washing machine, they looked very odd without blood in but more closely resembled the text book diagram

[EasterRobin]

I had my theories on the lipstick at the start of this thread, but now I think the OP should just count herself lucky that she is not living in the surreal dystopian nightmare of some of the other posters.

[Etihad]

flyinglemur is your chimney clear? If so the pizza might have been dropped down it by a seagull, they are notorious for stealing people's food in the street. If they realise they don't like it, they drop it while flying - my dad got hit on the head by a piece of pizza whilst sitting in his garden.

This is truly one of the weirdest threads I have ever seen.