Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine.

698 replies

AManWalksIntoABarOuch · 23/12/2017 15:34

100% certain dh is not having an affair so who does the lipstick belong to and how on earth will I get it out of the washing as the lid has come off (presumably in the machine) and I'm guessing it will be all over it now. Luckily it was a dark wash. I've stopped the washing machine and put it on drain.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
AManWalksIntoABarOuch · 27/12/2017 00:31
Grin
OP posts:
ConjugalHoliday · 27/12/2017 00:32

@AManWalksIntoABarOuch Welcome back. Glad all is ok. I hope you're pleased with the work we did to your thread while you were gone.

AManWalksIntoABarOuch · 27/12/2017 00:33

I am most impressed. You have all pleased me.

OP posts:
Straycatblue · 27/12/2017 00:33

Um... hi.
*

PasstheStarmix · 27/12/2017 00:38

Haha welcome back OP. I bet you got quite the shock when you saw what happened to your thread! I'm so pleased there was an innocent explanation for the lipstick as well Smile

XmasInTintagel · 27/12/2017 00:50

A few days ago I found an extra sieve in the cupboard. Now unless they have been breeding in the night, which seems unlikely, I have no idea where it’s come from.
See, things like this are like continuity errors in a film - which fit with my theory that we're all part of some giant experiment, and they (not sure who or what 'they' are, that would be another thread..), may be trying to test how accurately you know your sieves, and see how much it freaks you out if they mess with your sievage.

XmasInTintagel · 27/12/2017 00:57

When I was a dog groomer, until I invested in some proper tightly woven hairproof tunics, I used to spend every evening with a hand lens, a bright light and a pair of tweezers pulling little short bristly hairs out of my nipples.
I think you should have been using your hands (some people even use brushes!) to groom the dogs instead of your chest, thats where you went wrong...

Straycatblue · 27/12/2017 00:57

See, things like this are like continuity errors in a film - which fit with my theory that we're all part of some giant experiment, and they (not sure who or what 'they' are, that would be another thread..), may be trying to test how accurately you know your sieves, and see how much it freaks you out if they mess with your sievage.

This sounds like an awesome idea for a thread! Like the Matrix and deja vu. I would just like to know where they are putting all my socks. Although judging by this thread they will probably burst out of my arm in a few years time. Grin

PutDownThatLaptop · 27/12/2017 01:03

I had a dark stain appear under my thumbnail, nowhere near the tip - and it would not go away. I thought it was a splinter and stupidly tried to get it out by poking through the nail with a needle. I did manage to get it out finally and it was a piece of shiny metal. No idea how it got in there, there was no entry wound, it just appeared deep under the nail.

Oxcheeks · 27/12/2017 01:07

OMG nearly spat my wine out with the cat eating tinsel escapades

Elsiejane · 27/12/2017 01:12

Best thread ever.

Opheliasgoldenwine · 27/12/2017 01:24

I've just found this and it's brilliant Grin

PushingThru · 27/12/2017 01:44

I had repeated ear infections and one night, boldened by wine, I extracted with tweezers a huge piece of folded up sellotape from my inner ear - it was black from ear wax and smelled like death. I unrolled it and it was about the size of a crisp packet. No idea how it got in there.

MimsyStarr · 27/12/2017 02:05

I had an enormous spot on my nostril for ages once that finally came to a head containing a nostril hair that had grown in the wrong direction.... Had the map upside down 😀.

Consideredintrusion · 27/12/2017 02:34

Friends mother squeezed a spot on her breast and removed a sewing needle from it.

She has always been a crafty type and while working on projects likes to, temporarily, store pins and needles and whatnot in her bra.

IHaveACuntingPlan · 27/12/2017 02:49

A few years ago my sister was worried about her daughter - there was a whiff of poo coming from her despite being clean and having clean clothes and shoes. I don't know how she worked it out but it turned out to be a stone stuck up her nose. It had to be removed at the hospital.
My ds shoved a chocolate rice ball up his nose once but dh managed to massage it out.
I'm glad the lipstick turned out to be nothing sinister op and that you managed to get it out of your clothes.

ijustwantfiveminutespeace · 27/12/2017 02:56

Place marking

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears · 27/12/2017 03:19

I once ended up having an x-ray because of a lump under my foot, proper round peasized sticking out lump clearly with something black under the skin. X-ray person informed me nothing at all showing on x-ray itself, what the hell could it be? Massively painful to walk, had to take time off work, crying in pain. Gave up and had a poke, through gritted teeth. Out came the tiniest, most insignificant speck of nylon hair- wasn't real hair, black, no idea where it came from. Next day back to normal! How this 3mm piece of nothing gave me that much fuss I'll never know.

My dad went through a windscreen at about age 9, 60 years ago. Cut his lower face and neck a lot, he's always had a beard to hide it and because shaving the scar area would be difficult. About 10 years ago my mum told me he walked in white as a sheet, almost fainted. He'd scratched his neck and felt something sharp and pulled out a fairly sizable piece of glass! No sign through his entire life it was there. It was as big as a 2p piece but longer, diamond shaped, and still sharp! Apparently no blood just a shiny hole left which closed soon after. He kept it in a box but lost it in a move. All that time with potential death floating in his neck....

ElfPrincessIsALaplandUnicorn · 27/12/2017 06:21

Omg, frantically looking over myself and my family for sporn looking spots, I need a good story [santa]

DavidBowiesNumber1 · 27/12/2017 06:22

I'm loving this thread! Grin But it's making me a bit scared as I have titanium markers in one of my boobs (put there after a lumpectomy to aid with radiotherapy accuracy) and now I'm petrified that one day they'll just decide to pop out! Shock

SophoclesTheFox · 27/12/2017 07:29

Because I think this thread can handle a slighly random diversion into yet more weird cul-de-sacs...Grin

For those of you finding hairs embedded in you, have you heard of Morgellons?

Real tin-foil hat stuff.

Mustang27 · 27/12/2017 08:05

Yaay op is back and what a lovely twist to the story. Poor wee thing gutted his lippy is dead, what a great nanna he has.

Wtaf @PushingThru the size of a crisp packet.

@Consideredintrusion well yeah cos that a safe place to store sharp objects Shock I worry about some ppl.

Mustang27 · 27/12/2017 08:18

&@SophoclesTheFox yep morgellons made me itch all over Sad

sausagepastapot · 27/12/2017 08:20

Amazing thread and so happy OP found out where it came from.

I have a single, long, thick hair that occasionally sprouts out of my chin, a recurring single long hair growing out of my shoulder (the same hair follicle for both), and my absolute favourite was when a long hair grew out of my tongue. Just one time; truly blessed.

The weird thing is I only ever notice them once they are about 3-4 inches long, never before Hmm

Pulling them out is super fun.

JoyceByersFairyLights · 27/12/2017 08:21

Best thread ever.

Mine are:
Cat’s claw found in ball of my foot (pain, pus etc for a about a week then very satisfying removal through tiny hole with tweezers)
Fly in my ear (syringed out the same morning it went in, but buzzed around frantically and died in there first...)

Also, a family member recently went for contact lens trial and ended up with a folded up lens stuck round the side of her eyeball for more than 10 months.