There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine.

[AManWalksIntoABarOuch]

100% certain dh is not having an affair so who does the lipstick belong to and how on earth will I get it out of the washing as the lid has come off (presumably in the machine) and I'm guessing it will be all over it now. Luckily it was a dark wash. I've stopped the washing machine and put it on drain.

Two Christmas's ago, when my youngest was 9 months old, I had the best nappy change ever, with a piece of digested and then poo'd out wrapping paper upon which you could read quite clearly "merry Christmas"... I took a photo, but I won't gross you all out as it's a little too graphic....

This thread is just positively joyous! Really was my favourite thread to read, ever!

Until....

You posted an Au Pair back a used sanitary towel? No chance it has just accidentally got caught up in the washing .....?

Reading this has actually been the best bit of Christmas so far!

Thanks for the dog's bottom advice.

I didn't realise that.

@DontbeaDickaboutit That's what I thought too, it was probably accidental.

So I forwarded it on to her at her new address.

What a deeply unpleasant thing to do. It was most likely an accident.

This is amazing! And amazingly gross!

TMI

I think the lip stick could be mine... Sorry... ???

Dianag don't ruin the thread!!!

Just read all of this and now want to poke at a lump on my leg that GP claims is "nothing" whatwouldheknow

Fuck me. Bugs living under toenails. Wasps in VULVAS ?!?!?

Mushrooms in ears ?

But seriously the wasp thing is going to give me nightmares. I mean ..what was it stuck IN ? Between the labia ? Oh god oh god it’s so revolting I don’t know if I want to know

She poohed in a plastic tupperware box and put it right under her bed.

Did you post that to her as well, Dianag?

More importantly why did she do that ?

SPORNERS

Is that one of those cysts battle? I'm not watching it if it is honestly they are bloody grim!! Naming them Malcolm does not help make them less terrifying.

@Mustang27 it's a teratoma. They tend to contain teeth and hair etc.

SIL had a spot on her arm that got bigger and bigger then it burst and tiny spiders came out. She'd been in the Amazonian Jungle.

Um... hi.

ds who, being 4 (...) although (warning TMI but it seems like the order of the day) I once went to the toilet and there were three perfectly formed segments of orange. No poo, just perfect orange segments

Unless DS didn't exist then...

Sorry Lweji, I meant I pooed 3 orange segments. 😉 I was trying to be subtle - something I regularly fail at, I'll admit.

DS has never really played with or put things in the toilet. He prefers to put stuff in his pants and socks.

trying to be subtle on this thread?

That horse has long bolted, OP.