There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine.

[AManWalksIntoABarOuch]

100% certain dh is not having an affair so who does the lipstick belong to and how on earth will I get it out of the washing as the lid has come off (presumably in the machine) and I'm guessing it will be all over it now. Luckily it was a dark wash. I've stopped the washing machine and put it on drain.

Oh oh oh and there was that time where EXOH was changing DSs nappy to quizzacally state he had solved the mystery of the disappearing yellow balloon ... holding the perfectly intact deflated piece of rubber aloft....

I went to my GP thinking I had an ear infection. He pulled one of my dog's whiskers out of it - the end had been right against my eardrum making weird scratchy sounds.

When I was a dog groomer, until I invested in some proper tightly woven hairproof tunics, I used to spend every evening with a hand lens, a bright light and a pair of tweezers pulling little short bristly hairs out of my nipples. They were tiny (the hairs, that is ) but my god I knew if I'd missed one.

Tarantula hairs are pretty horrible, too, especially if you react to them; some people are more sensitive than others. If I'm doing something with one of mine (like topping up her water or feeding her) and she flicks hairs at me, a couple of days later I'll get itchy bumps that I can squeeze hairs out of when they mature.

Loving this thread!

Call for classics here!! I have found my people

Place marking for op return.

I have nominated for Classics - come on, posters, let’s get this in Classics

(Otherwise it will go poof in Chat)

I can't believe hairs are showing this cactus like behaviour... the world is clearly more dangerous than I realised.

Definitely classics, possibly even thread of the year!

I have also nominated as a late contender for thread of the year on Site Stuff - under Most Outrageous category. Go along no to Site Stuff and support the nomination

(Here’s the link to where you can find the Site Stuff Thread of the Year thingie - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/3113632-To-celebrate-the-unique-space-that-is-Mumsnet-Talk-MNHQ-would-love-you-to-share-your-Threads-of-the-Year )

NC as this is disgusting and I don't want people to think manky toenails - or worse - when they read my posts forevermore.

A few years ago, I had what I thought was an ingrown hair on my toe. So I squeezedd it and some hortible sticky stuff came out but I just concluded it was a slightly infected spot or something. Then my big toe was sore but I'm well 'ard so ignored it. Then a shadowy bit appeared under the base of my nail. I thought it was a very painful bruise... until it started wriggling.

Apparently the ingrown hair/spot was actually probably some sort of bug which had laid eggs in a gap between my nail and cuticle which then hatched under my nail.

Had to have the nail removed but they couldn't tell me what the thing was. Could have been an alien which is now multiplying inside my body.

Where are you OP? Hope the radio silence doesn't mean the reason was bad.

I was thinking that too Penguin. We're all having a bit of a hoot on this thread and it's totally derailed but I genuinely hope that OP is ok and comes back with good news.

Tarantula hairs??? Fuck me this thread is the best I've ever seen.

Im desperate to tweeze out a random piece of detritus but no such luck. I'm our family's Official Splinter Remover and get my fix that way but seriously where's my ear mushroom/ head shard/ vulva wasp???

I wonder what ever did happen about the lipstick...hope it was positive.

This is the weirdest most amusing thread ever my DH is a dog walker and if I find one more full pooh bag in my washing I shall be committing murder why the hell it puts them in his trackie bottoms I do not know I do appreciate him not just chucking them in hedges etc but really there has to be a bin between wherever he is and home

Hello, thanks for all the Classics nominations- we're moving it over now.

(Also still curious about who the lipstick in the OP belonged to!)

I had a dermoid cyst removed, detected after csection birth. Was told it was as big as a grapefruit and had to have another csection cut to get it out 6 months later. Wish i could have seen it for the sporn factor

Labazs i feel your pain. There was a funny smell coming from my work colleague all week and we didn't know what it was. It was always in the corner of the office where the coats hung or around her when she came and went. Turned out she had a poo bag in her coat pocket the whole time and had forgotten about it. To forget about a poo bag....

This is a marvellous thread. Best ever. X

Yay - this is now moving to Classics. Could it be Thread of the Year?

Yay for classics!

I found 5 rune stones in mine. No idea where they came from all all !

One day on a walk my dog tried to poo but started whimpering and jumping about, I ended up having to pull a long stick out of her bum!

Foxylass
I found 5 rune stones in mine. No idea where they came from all all !

Which body part did you find 5 rune stones in?

Re grass coming out of the dog’s bum, you have to pull incredibly gently cos it can be wrapped round the tubes and you can do damage. I forgot a poo bag one time, dog had a lump of shit hanging off his hairy arse, I had to use a leaf to remove it so he could go back in the car. It did not end well.

You sporners would have loved the leg injury I had, it needed packing with a special bandage that sort of turned into gel after a day or so then needed pulling out, bloody inches of the stuff.

Related to the leg injury, but years afterwards, I could feel something sticking out of the old scar. Looking at photos from the time, I could see the line of stitches ended where I could feel the something. I pulled very gently and hauled out a couple of centimetres of stitching. Very satisfying